Date:
4/6/2000
From: darkslider
So far we've learned:
-The Dec 10 Boy are for hire in order to pay back the damages
caused by a
night O' Belvederian Lovin....
-One of the two wants to defect
-Mr. Belvedere has launched a new line of man-diapers called
the
"Man-Handlers", and it is the most disturbing piece
of clothing on the
market today..
-Executive is the only human alive with 50% DoDo DNA.
-Darkslider is Tembi Locke's love slave
-SpaceTime is an alcoholic, sterile man.
The story..and the madness..Continues:
The door of the "Bee" caved in as easily as RandomJudgement's
will to resist child pornography. The horrid wailing of Kenny
G rushed out first to meet
the duo. Once the overwhelming rush of noise pollution passed,
the two looked in. Revealed behind the door, however was a cacanopy
of oddity. The room was filled to the brim with my Little Pony
and Punky Brewster Posters.
Frilly underwear was scattered EVERYWHERE. On the chandelier,
on the floor, and even hanging from the walls! As the heroes
surveyed the room, they saw that there appeared to be only three
people in the room and one was on
stage.
Standing atop the "stage", which was merely a small
coffee table, stood Mr.Belvedere in all his "glory".
Space and Dark watched in horror as he began doing a strip-tease
to the theme of Empty Nest.
Fully engrossed in this nonsense sat two figures staring fixedly
at the mock stage. These two, the Duo of Demasculanization,
wore only the "ManHandlers".
From behind, both looked the same, save one had the Handler
on his head instead of it's designed spot.
Suddenly could not take it any longer: "Dude, I don't care
HOW much crap the Dec 10 Boys have been talking. There's NO
CHANCE IN HELL that I'm going to be witness to this cavalcade
of retardation."
Upon hearing Dark's voice, the music, and the atrocity at the
center of the room stopped. All three people in the center of
the room turned and looked at the owners of the voices that
caused the interruption of "fun". Sabre's
"hat" wobbled briefly, but remained on his head.
"Wh-what are you two DOING here?", Jorge asked.
"Yeah, it's ten-thirty in the morning! You two should be
incoherent by now!", Sabre added.
"We'll get to that, soon enough" Space cut in, "But
first, we've got a little beef with you two simps".
"Why? What did we do wrong?", Jorge wondered
"Well, you put on a diaper for starters, and for GOD'S
SAKE Sabre..it GOES ON YOUR ASS!", dark yelled.
"I swear, you are as worthless as Aquaman, Sabre",
Space added, "You two know damn well what you did wrong.
Why go after us? You can barely dress yourselves, let alone
run a company. Yet you chose to attack your GODS"
"Yeah, I know.." they replied in unison, "but
we need money for Daddy B."
"If we're bad, he spanks us...a bunch of times with an
old Yoda blow up doll...hee...hee..."Jorge answered..."Space
are you really mad, or is this some sort of joke?"
"Enough jibber-jabber! I can feel the blessed touch of
alcoholic stupor passing! Let's do this!", Space yelled
as he lunged for the "properly dressed" Jorge.
It probably would have ended right there, with the GOD beating
both of them into oblivion. A beating so bad that the CHILDREN
those two would one day sire (if medical science keeps advancing
the way it is...)would be
black and blue.
Yet, that was not the case, at least-not yet. From out of nowhere,
a pink blur flew straight at Space's head. The sound was so
horrifying that there is no word in the English language that
can adequately describe it. The
speed was so stunning that all but the thrower of the item were
left wondering what the hell happened. The wondered the same
way that RandomJudgement's mother wondered how the hell that
cucumber and human DNA could mix to form the horrid accident
of genetics that was her son.
"Whazahowits Loliltameghanpoppasarah?" Space asked
from his new position on the floor with a frilly "Manhandler"
on his head..
"I've heard enough of your two...men" the thrower
roared at Dark and Space,"These two are my bitches and
that's the way it's going to stay...now if you don't want any
trouble, I highly suggest you LEAVE like a banana"
"Keep out of this FATBOY...before we haul your infantalic
ass down to our headquarters and use you for what you were supposed
to be used for.."dark yelled, punctuating it with the pointing
of his finger. Mr. B. sulked slowly away, but not fast enough
to hear..ST finish the sentence with the word
"Soap.."Space added as he rose slowly rubbing his
head. As he did, all in one graceful motion, he stepped back
and whipped out the "Dec 10 Bitches be
good" stick. "Now, I'm gonna tell you this-one time
and one time only-you better stop making mention of our names
in any other context other than worship, or you necrophiliacs
are gonna have a little meeting with this here stick. Just like
last time.."
"O-o-okay", they replied in unison, "we'll be
good".
Quickly trying to change the subject, Sabre asked "Hey
Dark, how are you and Tembi doing? Any kids on the way?"
Sometimes, there's just a time to shut the hell up. Some learn
this quickly.Others...well, others keep doing it until the punishment
is one that causes them to NEVER do it again. Such a faux pas
was committed by Sabre that day.
That was the biggest mistake he could have made.
"What did I just SAY?!", Space screamed, "That's
it, let's do this!"
With that, Space began to launch an attack that Patton would
be jealous of. Sabre never saw it coming. The blow by the "BE
Good" stick would have landed squarely between
the eyes and would have been followed by a quick uppercut to
the area that should have been protected by the "handler",
if he didn't have such a retarded grasp on
fashion.
Yet, before this could happen, the victim's eyes rolled backward.
He fainted from the fear before the fun could begin. Sabre fell
with a thud and a small gurgle. The "handler" he'd
be wearing tumbled from his now bruised head and rolled onto
the floor. Beneath it, was a pic of the "Golden Girls and
Carl Winslow doing something that has
never nor should it ever again be done."
"Puh-puh-puh-PORN!",Dark yelled and lunged for the
prize peeping out of the manundies. As soon as he looked at
the pic, though he reeled back as if struck with a 2"x4"..Eeeeyyuuuuccccchhhh.......I'm
BLIND!! I'm BLIND!! Argh my eyes!"
"Get over it, fayg." Space said as he bent down to
pick up the pic. AS he did, another pic fell to the ground.
It was of Dark and Space. Around it was a big heart with an
arrow through it. On the backside of the picture were the words
many women and a few men have spoken "I love those two
Adonises...."
Dark, standing behind Space sighed. "Great, monkeynuts,
you were going to beat the wrong one. He was gonna defect....now
he is JUST a DEFECT"
"...And? Who cares?! Just zip it, or I'll make you look
at the picture again. Alright Jorge..do you have anything smart
to say 'Yaleboy'?"
"No...I just wanted to say that I think that you guys are...the
best. Can I join with you two?", Jorge asked.
"Ever gotten drunk enough to pee your own pants? Or that
you forget that your native language is English? And most importantly,
Have ever watched PORN???", Space inquired.
"No, yes, and.....maybe. Look, I'm going to school..I plan
on becoming something. I'm not jut gonna waste my life and loaf
around banging hot Sliders actresses...", Jorge said proudly.
"What the f@%@# did you say about Tembi????", Dark
roared...
"Dude, I didn't say any--" was all Jorge could get
out before Dark took the "Dec10 B. G." Stick and lunged
for Jorge. Before the carnage could begin, a figure came from
behind and struck Dark. All that could escape from Dark's lips
were..."aTchEspMBflI"(your guess is as good as mine
as to what exactly the hell that means.) Dark fell boneless
to the floor with a thud. The weapon, a Raggedy Ann Doll, lay
no more than two feet away.
"Poppa!", Space screamed. He turned with the stick,
but it was no use. The Andy Doll met him as soon as he turned.
"SsAfdjsRasA" was uttered as he collapsed to the floor.
"NO!!!!", Jorge screamed. Having had to put up with
the "fashion" show of horrors was bad enough for him,
but to see his BEST friends taken out so coldly was something
he could not tolerate. "I don't care how much I owe you
Daddy, your ass is mine!!"
"It's gonna cost ya", Mr.B sneered. "But get
ready for your spanking you naughty boy."
"It ain't gonna happen" Jorge announced as he stood,
very Bruce Campbellish over the now unconscious LoB.
I'd like to say that Jorge worked Mr. Belvedere like a two dollar
whore. I'd like to say that Executive didn't start his own bath
house that only allowed chimpanzees and him in it. I'd LIKE
to say allot of things, but they just are things we cannot over
look, due to the fact that they are just plain facts.
Jorge got worked by Mr.B. Let's face it, the fat guy had about
200lbs on Jorge easily, and he had that annoying phony accent.
He fought with all the might one man can have while wearing
a diaper, but let's face it. How masculine and ass kicking can
you do if you're wearing that get-up? Before Jorge lost consciousness,
he saw two shadows out of the corner of his eye enter very suddenly-then...all
was black.....
-darkslider
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