If Tom Green Played Quinn... the Top 10

Date: 08/16/2000
From: Blinker

Inspired by HK's post. 7:-D

TOP 10 CHANGES TO SLIDERS IF TOM GREEN WAS THE STAR

10. Colin would show off his 'farm boy' milk-drinking skills... straight from the udder.
9. Remmy's priceless red Cadillac would be found painted over with nude lesbians.
8. Three letters: MTV.
7. The gang wouldn't need *jobs* to get food -- they'd subsist on bubble gum found under park benches.
6. The Breeder would have given Maggie a compulsive attraction to moose corpses.
5. "A Current Affair" would actually have starred Monica Lewinsky, and featured a product placement for her new line of stained textiles.
4. Smarter Quinn would have polished off his rampage on Earth Prime by placing a severed cow head on Mrs. Mallory's bed.
3. The anti-Kromagg virus would be transmitted via dead, maggot-infested [rim shot!] raccoons that the Sliders are charged with spreading across Earth Prime. Diana: "So, how much does it cost to rent a helicopter?"
2. Slide Rule #1A: If the gate isn't painted plaid, you're not home.
1. The Kromaggs wouldn't eat *eye*balls anymore.

- Blinker 7:-P
http://welcome.to/gate_haven

"...despite the usual overkill, in a genre ruled by cliché, Woo displays electrifying originality -- note the jousting duel on motorcycles."

-- Maclean's Magazine reviews Mission Impossible 2, June 5/2000... almost a YEAR after "Easy Slider" airs. Originality, my hot buttered buns!

Please dont laugh but who's Tom Green?

Date: 08/16/2000
From: Wade_lives

Is he from another show or something?

<shudders>

Date: 08/16/2000
From: DoctorQuinn

I am quite frightened! If I have nightmares from this, I'm gonna blame Blinker and HurriKain!
~>:OP LOL!

WL, Tom Green is a particularly annoying host of a show I don't care to watch very often.

 

The good doctor

WHO is Tom Green?!?!?

Date: 08/16/2000
From: hakavonn

Tom Green is a young Canadian man with a bizarre sense of humour. He started his television career on local cable access in Canada, and then his show was actually picked up by a Canadian comedy cable network. After a while there, it was picked up by American's MTV.

Some of his ideas on what's funny include:

Taking a camera crew to his parents' home while they're out, and moving out all the furnishings...replacing them with live barnyard animals...who are not housebroken. (He then waited with the camera crew for his parents to come home so he could show their reaction on his TV show. They are seldom amused by such visits, and weren't this time either. I'll not get into the life-size statues he once left on their lawn...depicting sexual acts.)

Dressing up as a police officer, going into a dairy barn, and drinking milk directly from the udder of a live cow. (This was the basis for the above description of Colin doing the same.)

Going on national television with the news (and it seems this was legit) that he had been diagnosed with testicular cancer...and turning the situation into a subject for his show. This included having the camera crew follow him...including into a restaurant...where he, while dining with his parents and friends, repeatedly greeted other patrons with "Hello...I have cancer and have to have one of my balls removed." He went on to compose a song on how young men must perform certain self-examinations so as to avoid needless loss of life...the song was NOT pretty, and he not only sang it on his show in the studio, but also in live appearances at college campuses.

His craziness is so all over the board, it's hard to give a clear description of what he does. Just imagine the most embarassing, outrageous things possible, and he will either humiliate himself in actually doing these things, or drag other people (as mentioned, including his poor parents) into the situation, and embarass and humiliate them.

THAT is a little of who Tom Green is. BE IN FEAR!!!!!!

Thanks for giving me nightmares!

Date: 08/17/2000
From: SL4ever

First HK and now YOU are mentioned the horrid TG and Sliders in the same sentence. >:-#

Fortunately this was funny. :-D

Wade lives...where do YOU live?

Date: 08/17/2000
From: ChrissaSlider

Do you get MTV? If not, please do. :o)

yes I get MTV, but I don't watch it

Date: 08/17/2000
From: Wade_lives

,

Original URL http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/22676
Nominated by DMD