Sliders
Big Brother!
Date: 08/14/2000
From: Brand_S
(I already explained this to a few people yesterday, so Tigs, JessieMallory, Yeontoo, Sabre, RMScream, and dellyone already know what happens.
This is just a one-shot fanfic spoof of Big Brother and Sliders Survivor.
Please don't throw a fuss if you're not one of the contestants. I just picked five men and five women at more-or-less random.)[ We see a crowd in front of the Sliders Big Brother House like it was the Oscars or something. A red carpet serves as the walkway for each contestant leading up to the Sliders Big Brother House's doorstep. ]
Announcer: In CBS' blatant attempt to get more viewers by ripping off one of its own shows, we're trapping ten people in this house under constant surveillance for 90 days. What will happen to these people next? We'll find out...
And here are the contestants...[ Sabre_Edge starts walking through the red carpet as the crowd cheers. ]
Sabre_Edge: Hey.
Announcer: Sabre_Edge from California is a computer game programmer. The release date for his special Sliders multiplayer game is listed as "When the devil warms up next to an ice cube."[ Yeontoo starts walking through the red carpet as the crowd cheers. ]
Yeontoo: Hi!
Announcer: Yeontoo from Tenessee is a home-school teacher. Her favorite swear words include "bastard," "fuck," and "shit."[ Brand_S starts walking through the red carpet. The crowd's cheers reach a deafening volume. ]
Brand_S: [Fonz-ish] 'Ey!
Announcer: Brand_S from Washington State is a student. When asked about his enthusiasm regarding Sliders Big Brother, he responded by saying "I wanna be voted out already." Sounds like a winner to me![ JessieMallory starts walking through the red carpet as the crowd cheers. ]
JessieMallory: Hi there!
Announcer: JessieMallory from... somewhere... is a Stephen King fan. She is known for collecting chat transcripts for blackmail purposes, and let me tell you, you haven't lived until you've seen what Sabre_Edge writes when he's drunk![ SpaceTime starts walking through the red carpet as the crowd cheers. ]
SpaceTime: LOVE ME!
Announcer: SpaceTime from California is a web designer. His catch-phrases include "Toodles," "Jubblies," and "Eat a dick!"[ Slider_Sarah starts walking through the red carpet as the crowd cheers. ]
Slider_Sarah: Hello!
Announcer: Slider_Sarah from England is a student. Her lingual skills extend from American English to English English to German![ Stax_ starts walking through the red carpet as the crowd cheers. ]
Stax_: Konas ta tu!
Announcer: Stax_ from Ireland is also a student. One of our more erudite contestants, Stax_ is only one of two people to ever actually bring FACTS to an off-topic debate on the Sliders Message Board. [Author's Note: Gee, I wonder who the other one could be! ][ Stoker_chick starts walking through the red carpet as the crowd cheers. ]
Stoker_chick: Hey!
Announcer: Stoker_chick from New Jersey is a goth! Her favorite colors include black, black, and black![ HunterD_Raven starts walking through the red carpet as the crowd cheers. ]
HunterD_Raven: You're all goin' down!
Announcer: HunterD_Raven from Louisiana is a ranter! His hobbies are as diverse as he is, ranging from watching "The Lost Boys" to writing fanfiction to inflicting various degrees of misery to anyone who gets in his way![ Echos starts walking through the red carpet as the crowd cheers. ]
Echos: Peace!
Announcer: Echos from Idaho is an actress! A hippie at heart, when asked what her favorite part of Tolstoy's "War and Peace" is, her response was simple: "The peace!"[ All ten of the contestants give a final wave goodbye as they walk into the Sliders Big Brother House. ]
Announcer: If you're not bored enough already, you can count on seeing Sliders Big Brother six nights a week! Let's see what wacky adventures the housemates are up to now!
(Day 1)
[ We see the living room. Brand_S, visibly bored and nearly asleep, is laying down across the couch, but he's so tall his head dangles from one armrest and his legs dangle from the other. JessieMallory is laying back in a recliner looking equally bored. On another couch, HunterD_Raven and Stoker_chick are sitting upright sleeping like rocks. Stax_ is sprawled out on the floor on his belly, sleeping. Slider_Sarah lays on top of him in a similar position, sleeping.
In a bedroom, Echos is sprawled out on a bed, also sleeping. Sabre_Edge, looking incredibly bored, is sitting in a corner. On another bed, Yeontoo is sleeping.
In the bathroom, SpaceTime, fully clothed, lays down sleeping in the dry bathtub. ]Announcer: Uh oh, it looks like Sabre_Edge's bad attitude could have him marked for banishment! SpaceTime and Slider_Sarah aren't exactly angels, either! Which of these three will be banished from the Sliders Big Brother House? We'll find out!
(Day 9)
[ Everyone is in the exact same position. ]
Brand_S: Somebody PLEASE vote me out of this stikin' hellhole. This is SO boring!
(Day 14)
[ Everyone is in the exact same position. ]
Brand_S: Why do you morons insist on punishing me by making me live another day in this shack?!
Announcer: Uh, oh! Tensions are certainly rising at the Sliders Big Brother House! Will SpaceTime have to jump on a trampoline naked to prevent banishment?(Day 16)
[ Everyone is in the exact same position. ]
Announcer: Well, as it turns out, SpaceTime didn't actually jump naked on a trampoline, but his friends say he'd probably be voted out anyway!
[ A trapdoor opens below Sabre_Edge. He falls through without so much as a scream. ]
Announcer: My oh my! I guess it was Sabre_Edge who was banished! Who will it be next? Find out tomorrow... or the day after that... or the day after that... or the day after that...
(Day 23)
[ Everyone is in the exact same position, save for the banished Sabre_Edge. ]
Brand_S: What the fuck do I have to do to get banished from this shitbox, jump naked on a trampoline?
Announcer: Well, we can all tell that Brand_S' position in the Sliders Big Brother House is safe...
Brand_S: You sons of bitches.
Announcer: ... but who's next? Well, it looks like JessieMallory, Yeontoo, and Stax_ are marked for banishment! We'll find out!(Day 26)
[ Everyone is in the exact same position.
Suddenly, a trapdoor opens below Yeontoo's bed. Yeontoo falls through without any sign of concern. ]Announcer: Oh dear God! It looks like Yeontoo has been banished? Who's next to leave the Sliders Big Brother House? We'll find out soon enough!
(Day 30)
[ A man walks into the living room. ]
Man: Hey.
[ Everyone in the room looks up at him. ]
Man: We're cancelled. Get out.
Announcer: Well, that's it for Sliders Big Brother. Stay tuned next week for the show that actually has viewers, Sliders Survivor!
I
love it!
Date: 08/14/2000
From: Sabre_Edge
First to go! My plan worked!And Jess still doesn't have those transcripts does she? ;)
SE
ps. I'm a designer, not a programmer. Writing code is boring :p
S,
my man!!!!!
Date: 08/14/2000
From: dellyone
ROFLMAO!!! Oh man, now I'll never know who was going to win.;-)dellyone
LOL!!!
Date: 08/14/2000
From: DoctorQuinn
It was cancelled?! Just BOOM! You're off the air! Bye-bye?!
It was so exciting too...~:OP
The good doctor
ROTFLMAO!
Date: 08/14/2000
From: Nobuyuki
That was great! The trap doors were a nice touch, too.
I
was waiting for S with blue hair.
Date: 08/14/2000
From: EustiSlider
Man, you absolutly nailed that show. "Next time on Sliders Big Brother, Stax discovers navel lint!!!"--Eusti
Thank
you very much for the slander!!!!!
Date: 08/15/2000
From: JessieMallory
I don't know where this CRAP about my save transcripts for blackmail started, but as far as I'm concerned it ends NOW.ONE yes I save transcripts of all my IM convos with everyone, from friends, family, writing friends from a writing community I belong to and friends in the sliders community. BUT contrary to the belief held by some I use them to refer back to for writing purpose ONLY. I discuss writing or other topics that sometimes spark ideas for a short story and I like to be able to refer back to the convo that sparked that idea like notes written about the story.
SO...AS far as I am now concerned keep your chats to yourself. I think that SE's constant ribbing and blatant reference to this at every chat I attend has left me unwilling and leery of chatting with anyone from the Sliders community. AND... now this out right slander towards me here I would rather keep my chats to people that seriously appreciate my talents, my input and my friendship. Especially if that is one of the only things I am known for around here.
Thank you for reaffirming where I stand with the supposed friends I've made here in this community.
JessieMallory
jessiemallory@yahoo.com
Whoa!
Jess! I didn't know!
Date: 08/15/2000
From: Sabre_Edge
I did not know you even kept a one transcript. Seriously, it was a joke that you played along with. I'm sorry you got hurt by this. I didn't know it upset you like it did.I really didn't know you even kept chats. I just made up the blackmail and camera stuff because you are always so quiet. I thought you thought it was funny because you would laugh at it when I said it. I am very sure S thought the same way. Neither one of us would mean to harm you like this.
I am very sorry Jessie,
SE
Ha!
Date: 08/15/2000
From: Slider_Sarah
My boyfriend read that, um, he says to tell you I am an angel. apparently.Do you not like Big Brother then? Maybe ours is better or maybe I'm just strange. I'm really getttting into it!!!
Nicew work S!!!!!
Sarah.
OMG!
Date: 08/15/2000
From: Mallory15
Funny????
M-15
Silverguy 01 on aol/aim
Original URL http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/22638
Nominated by DMD
