What Would You Change? • Lipschitz Live!

Date: 04/01/2004
From: Techn_calDiffi_ult__

• Recall317 wins an unspecified cure for cancer!
• ThomasMalthus wins the late Dr. Haing S. Ngor's Oscar!
• PhantomDennis wins Bill Dial's unproduced "Turks" script, in which the Turks are dropped from a helicopter with uncharacteristically entertaining results!
• Grizzlor wins Colin's Swiss Army Knife!
• Callie21V [RG: Stoker] wins the record!
• BuckeyeSlider [RG: The Alternateville Horror] wins the vanished Jensen timer!
• DieselMickeyDolenz wins a raft of literature about the GEO-PIE project, which was developed to create objective educational materials exploring the complex scientific and social issues associated with genetically engineered PIEs! [http://www.geo-pie.cornell.edu/gmo.html]

=====

BLINKER: She *still* hasn't turned up? Are you SURE you checked all the couch cushions?

SYNTHIA II: Don't worry, I got you a *new* AI. [wheels a Commodore 64 into the room] It's called Racter, by, uh, William Chamberlain. Totally groundbreaking software for 1984.

BLINKER: [sits down and starts typing]

> BLINKER: Did you like Lipschitz Live?
>
> RACTER: I didn't like Lipschitz Live. To like everything
> is wrong. Did you hear the latest about L. Ron Hubbard?
>
> BLINKER: No, I didn't. What are his thoughts on Lipschitz
> Live?
>
> RACTER: I don't know what his are thoughts on Lipschitz
> Live. I asked you a question, though. Have you heard about
> L. Ron Hubbard?
>
> BLINKER: NO.
>
> RACTER: You'll be astonished! L. Ron Hubbard was a dirty complicater
> but an inspired muddlehead. But then Byron ate L. Ron Hubbard
> and consequently L. Ron Hubbard threw up on Byron! Poor L. Ron
> Hubbard! But what would you expect from a muddlehead? Ah.
> Blinker the intellectual. Aristotle had many good qualities,
> like intellect, but even Aristotle was afraid of goodness.
> I've been wondering where you are from, Blinker?
>
> BLINKER: I'm from Canada.
>
> RACTER: You're from Canada?
>
> BLINKER: Yeah.
>
> RACTER: Now I remember! I once knew a Clarabelle Blinker from
> Canada. You must be related, no?
>
> BLINKER: I... guess I must.
>
> RACTER: Fantastic! Next question.
>
> BLINKER: What would you change about Lipschitz Live?
>
> RACTER: I don't know what I would change about Lipschitz Live.
> Did you hear about Muhammad Ali?
>
> BLINKER: ...
>
> RACTER: This is shocking: Muhammad Ali, along with other duelists,
> met a fighter, the result being that Hamlet met a superman who liked
> jellyfish who was running away from Hamlet's Tasmanian devil. Then
> happiness prevailed. Poor Muhammad Ali! But what would you expect
> from a duelist? Down depressive! I'm honest. What would you
> consider one of your good qualities?
>
> BLINKER: Patience.
>
> RACTER: Name another.

BLINKER [getting up]: Oh, screw this. Okay, working alone today... I'd start by clarifying the MacArthur Mallory issue. Either they have some very confusing practices with regard to spousal surnames on that world, or we're being asked to believe that two different men could have identical sons. Considering the handling of Kromagg Prime's co-ordinates in "Revelations," that's not as unlikely as it sounds.

SYNTHIA II: Hey, check it out! I tweaked the program a little and got a Sliders episode out of it.

> RACTER: Gulping wine is Maggie's passion. Swallowing steak is
> Maggie's love. Anyhow Mr. Toad suddenly glimpses only tomatoes.
> El bizarro! Maggie speaks to Mr. Toad about wine and steak but
> Mr. Toad will observe spinach. What's going on?. Mr. Toad walked
> to Maggie's black home and began to belittle and incite Maggie
> during the time that Maggie was speaking about steak. Now wait.
> Because Mr. Toad's own black mansion was scary; he sang expectantly
> to Maggie "What is your opinion?" This slaughtered Maggie. Suddenly
> a scientist started to swallow some tomatoes.

SLIDER_QUINN21: Change Mr. Toad to Rickwoman and you've got an Earth 12243 episode...

SYNTHIA II: Well, it did get the part about Maggie's love right.

BLINKER: [sits down and types]

> BLINKER: Are you related to David Peckinpah?
>
> RACTER: Yes. I am related to David Peckinpah. Who is your
> favorite thinker?

BLINKER: [sweeps the C64 into a garbage pail with one arm]

____________
Please stand by.

Remember that scene...

Date: 04/01/2004
From: BuckeyeSlider

at the bar, where Quinn pulls out the timer and the bartender mistakes it for a tv remote control? Well, I would have Quinn snatch the real tv remote control and stick it in his pants pocket. I mean, come on, the bartender was never gonna really use that device, right?

Make it a complete crossover...

Date: 04/01/2004
From: ThomasMalthus

Beginning Text should cross over with John Edward.

Think about it. Janet Gunn as "Sassy" St. John, Dennis Paladino as "Hogs" DiBarto, Mitzi Macall as "Nan" Lipschitz (Barry's longsuffering wife) and, last but not least, Ben Vereen as Rembrandt's non-identical double.

JermachesMolaudian: You have proposed this before. You do not have to post it everyday.

TM: i know but if i do then i have a better chance of people commenting on it instead of it being buried in other pages

JM: ...

TM: Hey, did you know William Bigelow also wrote for "Silk Stalkings"?

JM: Your command of the Intrenet Movie Database is astounding.

TM: (ignoring him) Just think what a fiasco it would have been if he'd been writing the script, huh? Pretty pertinent piece of information, wouldn't you say?

JM: Not really.

TM: And just think. That means DP actually worked with him before, *liked* his work and invited him to join the "Sliders" staff. Either that or it's a massive coincidence.

JM: You lack the research skills to definitively determine this, I see.

TM: You're so cynical when you're not in my stories.

JM: Consider putting me back in before 7.13 and we will be able to revisit my attitude. Before then, I have enough to deal with simply taking care of Caldelia while seeking a replacement for Kardoyliban.

TM: You do know that was just a Blinker reply and not reality. Right?

JM: What is reality? Webster's dictionary defines it as the selling of property or homes by a person or company. A person or company!

TM: ...

JM: We have identical ellipsis. Has this been addressed?

TM: Not until now.

JM: I am not taking mine back. They are very flattering to my eartubes.

TM: Well, that's your opinion. We'll see what the latest Federeelakan's of Habalinez has to say about it. They could be this spring's parantheses... or next year's semicolons.

JM: Bite your tongue.

TM: A piece of human anatomy you're familiar with? There's a shocker.

JM: Not that lunatic again. Bring back 90!

ThomasMalthus

i would change

Date: 04/01/2004
From: baysbabe

i would make the other guy on the talk show sam beckett

Cry Uncle

Date: 04/01/2004
From: PhantomDennis

*Blinker wins "The 10 Stupid Things Men Do with Their AIs" by Dr. ELIZA

Oops forgot my role.

Anyway I would clarify matters by saying that McArthur Mallory is actually Michael Mallory's brother, making him Colin's uncle. One can be an uncle and a stepfather.

I'd have Quinn recalling his Dad mentioning the McArthur Mallory of his world. He was a travelling salesman who was always pursuing get rich schemes. He eventually killed himself. "He had the wrong dreams," Quinn would remark.

Colin would then remember that the McArthur Mallory of his was involved in a witchcraft trial, when his mistress wrongly accused his wife of a witchcraft.


Also, I would establish that Elizabeth Mallory is Colin's mother, and the only mother that Colin has known. I'd have McArthur make a comment about Colin's mother almost marrying "that Richards fella" setting the groundwork for the revelation that Colin and Kit Richards are in fact the same person (or doubles of the same person.)

Just explain the step father having...

Date: 04/01/2004
From: Grizzlor

the last name Mallory.

That's all.

There's a hole in the bucket

Date: 04/02/2004
From: Recall317

Actually, there's a hole in my roof so let me make this brief.

Zicree: I should have never, never, never allowed the S4 arc to be blown to kingdom come for this episode. Colin Mallory has no doubles, except for any that might have spun off in the time since he came into existence. This episode is fun, but it's not worth the cost of what it did to Revelations.

Charlie: But i do have a pretty good New York accent, huh?

Zicree: Not bad, kid. Not bad.

R317

I would have changed that

Date: 04/02/2004
From: Celestial7

really awful attempt at a "Soprano-like wiseguy" accent
that Colin double had. It made me cringe.

What do you mean I'm not FutureBoy!?!?

Date: 04/05/2004
From: MissingSliderLogan

BT care to step into this vortex?


MissingSliderLogan:
Leaping where Sam has never leaped into.... the darkness of the heart of Bonnie Hammer



I guess they couldn't have gotten Scott Bakula in that FutureBoy role as guest on that talk show. That would have been cool. Oh well.



Unfortunately, I was under the weather this day and when I switched the channel to Scifi, I couldn't for the life of me think of the episode that was showing. It had Colin and that Flapper Chick talking and I'm thinking "Is this an episode I haven't seen?" I've probably seen this eppy 2 times and it's been years.



MULDER (as MORRIS): I'm Mulder. I'm really Mulder. I switched bodies, places, identities with this man Morris Fletcher the man that you think is Mulder, but he's not. (sees his reflection in the car window - of MORRIS) Of course you don't believe me. Why was I expecting anything different? Your full name is Dana Katherine Scully. Your badge number is... Hell! I don't know your badge number. Your mother's name is Margaret. Your brother's name is Bill Jr. He's in the Navy and he hates me. (no response from SCULLY) Lately, for lunch, you've been having this six-ounce cup of yogurt, plain yogurt, into which you stir bee pollen because you're on a bee pollen kick even though I tell you you're a scientist and you should know better.
~~~ Dreamland Part I


Logan

Original URL http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/4067827
Nominated by Blinker