The Way it Wuz .. Talked About!

Date: 06/21/2000
From: SL4ever

SL4: Hello again everybody! I’m your fabulous host, SL4ever! And this is The Way it Wuz Talked About, that bi-tri-weekly show where we talk about the days that wuz and look ahead to the days that will be. We have an exciting show for you today! An excellent panel, as always. But first, these messages!

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SL4: We’re back, and let’s meet our panel. First, you either hate him or loathe –er- love him! The man who needs no further introduction, Jerry O’Connell!!!!!

JOC: KNEEL before Zod! Ha ha, just teasing. Hey ya’ll!

SL4: Next up, she appeared in only one Sliders ep but has become the most overhyped Slider character on the planet, Zoe McLellan!!

Crowd: OH GOD YES!!!!!!!!

ZM: :-* !!!

SL4: Next we have Sliders executive producer, writer, director, and anti-genius, David Peckinpah!!

Crowd tries to storm the stage to rip him limb from limb, barely held back by Dominion security droids.

DP: Hello, adoring fans!

Crowd: <unprintable>

SL4: And finally, Tracy Torme refused to come on with Peckinpah, so Robert Palmer has been gracious enough to take his place!!!!

Crowd: Eh?

SL4: Just go with it.

Crowd: Yeah!!!

SL4: Thanks. Okay. First, let’s talk about 6-18. The bboard doesn’t even rest on Father’s Day. What was your favorite post from that day, Jerry?

JOC: Well S, there wasn’t many that day. Just 16 all day. Slim pickin’s.

SL4: Of those, what was your favorite?

JOC: It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘favorite’ is.

RP: Just tell him which smegging post you liked best!

JOC: Excuseeeee me, Robert. Have a hit record some time this decade, will ya?

Crowd: Ouch!

JOC: Anyway, my favorite was the many Real World posts that day. In fact, I think that’s all there were. I like that show!

ZM: Well, they were okay, though the show itself is horrid and about as realistic as David’s comb-over.

DP: I’ll have you know that 2 out of 10 people think this comb-over is a full head of hair!

ZM: And both of them are on acid AND blind!

RP: Well, personally, I found Coolslider’s post simply irresistible. As I entered that post I was already polishing my flamethrower and then I discovered it was just a prank! LOL!

JOC: I’m sure YOU did find that post amusing.

RP: Oh, go make Body Shots part two! And while you’re at it, give your agent a fat bonus for signing you up for all those bombs since you left Sliders!

SL4: Ouch. Before things get any uglier I think we’ll take a break. The rest of the posts were mostly German bashing and the revealing of personal information by busybodies, hard to get a laugh from all that.

DP: Stupid crouts.

SL4: Don’t YOU start. And it’s “Kraut.” Back after these messages!

“Hello. Last year I was in an unfortunate incident involving hot cherry syrup, my groin, and a local German Shepherd. I needed 256 stitches, new pubic hair, rabies shots, a new pair of yellow Bermuda shorts, and 8 months psychological counseling. So I hired Snidely Stevens, attorney at law, and he sued Bill’s Ice Cream Shoppe, U-Haul Rental trucks, Melvin Perkins, Melvin Perkins’ dog Spot, the woman who was crossing the street in tight spandex, God, the wind, the City of Los Angeles, and my 5th grade teacher Sally Simpkins who got me hooked on Cherry Sundaes. Snidely Stevens got me 119 million dollars! Snidely WILL FIGHT for you! He did for me! If you’ve suffered massive food trauma in the past four years, call Snidely today!”

SL4: And we’re back. During the break, Jerry made a good point. He remarked how TIP, the second most annoying bastard on the planet behind Adam Sandler, made a post entitled “Second to last post of 6-18.” Lo and behold, there was only one more post before the day ended, and that was by Jessie Mallory.

JOC: Makes you wonder HOW on Earth TIP knew his/her post would be the second to last? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

SL4: Something to ponder. Moving on to 6-19. Zoe, what was your favorite post of that day?

ZM: S, I liked the Sliders world post by cc_deville. Especially humorous were the first and second replies to that post! Though my personal preference would be for them to Slide back to Logan’s world. :-P~~~~

Crowd: Woo Hoo!!!

JOC: Now there’s a surprise.

ZM: Oh Jerry, they love me. Deal with it! :-*

DP: My favorite post was the SpaceTime War thingy. I don’t even have a sense of humor and *I* even found it funny! As far as the post that made the most sense to me, that was the “Action figures movie” post!

JOC: That post made no >:-#-ing sense, what are you talking about?

ZM: Just because YOU haven’t been reading the board faithfully everyday, doesn’t mean the rest of us haven’t.

JOC: Oh do smeg off!

ZM <tosses hair, causing the crowd to cheer again>: :-* !! Top that, Bomb to Mars boy.

JOC <glancing at crowd>: You’re lucky all the JOC fanatics are over at that other board.

RP: Well, I thought hakavonn’s post about the Exodus timer was thought provoking. Maybe it was just a plot device, as tonguely suggested, but it was a good question and stirred up debate. I like it when posters get it on.

SL4: So where do you fall on that issue?

RP: I personally think the timer corrupted at that point in the rabbit hole, as hakavonn suggested. I think that was the “tornado moment.”

SL4: Well, I happen to agree with Temp. In think it was just they didn’t have the ability to make a timer on the same tech level as the one in the pilot.

DP: Oh you would agree with that >:-#! Speaking of sucking up, you haven’t mentioned Slider Sarah’s posts at all yet! She had fan fic today! Go ahead! Get it out of the way!

SL4: I thought her fan fic post on 6-19 was fabulous.

DP: You’re a disgraceful human being. And that’s coming from ME!

JOC: Well, anyway, I thought that Informant’s post about art was hilarious. And the “spoof poem” equally so.

DP: That poem was a spoof?

SL4: You went to the “Executive School of Reading Comprehension, I see. I want to throw a “you rock” out to HK for his RS post, and also mention that 6-19 was the day that the Dominion made their hideous changes to the bboard. All white? How creative. Blech. We’ll be right back.


“Does this scene sound familiar to you?

Man: Honey, will we be engaging in sexual intercourse at any point this evening?

Woman: MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-gasp-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!! Dream on!

Man: But it’s been so long.

Woman <checks calendar>: It’s not Christmas, Father’s day, OR your birthday. Dream on!

Are you tired of your husband bothering you for sex every month? God, it seems like it was just last January that you gave him some. Sheesh. How can a girl get a break? The easy answer has been in front of you all long.

BEER!

Specifically, Sof™ Beer!!! Our new extra soft formula is guaranteed to curb his libido or the next 36 pack is absolutely, positively, not free! And even if we didn’t add a new secret ingredient banned in 200 countries, when’s the last time you saw a plastered man interested in anything except wresting and salty pretzels? Never!

Get him drunk today, ladies, and get back to the important things in life. For best results, though, get him drunk with Sof™ beer!”

SL4: We’re back. We have time for one more day, 6-20. Robert, what post was your fave?

RP: Oh God, you simply HAVE to go with Blink’s Halloween in June post!

DP: I didn’t get it.

Everyone: Now there’s a surprise!!

DP: And what was it with his handle? “Peckinblink”??? It’s confusing.

ZM: You know, you’d actually have to be smarter to be stupid. Jesus God Almighty.

JOC: I loathe to agree with Zoe about anything, but god you’re dumb! You’re one fewer brain cell away from needing a machine to help you breathe!

RP: I’ll bet you think those girls in my video were actually playing those instruments!

DP: Oh pshaw! Everyone knows that you dub in the music later.

RP <stares in wonder>: My god, we’ve found someone dumber than the writers for Suddenly Susan.

SL4: Hey, hey, no hitting below the belt! So what other posts did we like from that day?

JOC: Well, I loved the post about my image being in The Unstuck Man. Of course, I would have hired Snidely Stevens and sued the bazogas out of them if I’d noticed that at the time. But the post was fabulous.

DP: Personally I thought Brand_S’s sarcastic reply was LOL.

SL4: You called Easy Slider the best ep of Sliders ever, so your opinion on everything has to be judged on the basis of that. Speaking of the OTHER S-Man, his post about the Dominion war was of interest. Now if I just had the first clue what the smeg the Dominion War WAS.

DP: You mean you don’t know? YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THE DOMINION WAR IS ALL ABOUT??? I know something SL4ever doesn’t know! Woo Hoo!!!

SL4: Bite my shiny metal ass.

ZM: I liked CrustiSlider’s post about the timer’s limitations. I also liked Informant’s sarcastic questions post. That was good for a smile.

SL4: Um, I’m afraid that is EustiSlider, Zoe.

ZM: What on alternate Earths is a “Eust” ???

SL4: This is what happens when you go through life depending on a cute moue.

ZM: That reminds me. He’s picking on me! :-* !!!!

Crowd: Booooo! Leave her alone!

SL4: The crowd has turned against me! Bad Logan! Just enough time for a few more honorable mentions. Sabre, LOL! Lexx_Suxx, don’t they have a tractor pull or something to entertain you where you live? Qball79, mega dittos! JOC, you have the last word.

JOC: Coolslider, hang in there buddy. Maybe you can try being Jerry O’Connell. It’s always worked for me. If I get depressed I look in the mirror and say, ‘hey! I’m Jerry F-ing O’Connell!’ Then I feel better right away!

SL4: Holy Crap. I’ll never give you the last word again. That’s all for this episode. See ya Friday when Kari Wuher, Tracy Torme, Cleavant Derricks, and one lucky poster, whoever ends up with post #15365 to be democratic about it, will be our guests. But, as always, the real stars are the posts! Goodnight everybody!

“The Way it Wuz Talked About, is brought to you by Miracle Slip! Look twenty pounds lighter with Miracle Slip! By Dewey Porkem, Civil Attorney. And by Slappy the Adult Clown, no one can show you good clean adult fun like Slappy can!”

“RP: Just tell him which smegging post you liked best!”

Original URL http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/2326/21517
Nominated by Blinker