Matty the Teddy Bear
~~~and~~~~
Zack the Kitten's
Most Excellent Adventure
~~The LoB

"...It had been a long day." The end.

The Group Share Circle was still in session as Yeontoo finished reading the book's first draft. "Interesting name for your fiction" Yeontoo said, trying not to laugh. Turning, she set it on the table behind her.

Matty and Zack were shyly standing in the middle of the circle, shuffling their feet side to side, blushing, and constantly checking their pocket protectors in their misbuttoned shirts. Zack's black horn rimmed black glasses slipped down his nose every so often, while Matty kept wiping his nose on his shirt.

JorgeCis, Mychand, Eustislider, and Qball79 were giggling behind their hands nervously, such language.

Vance454 and Brand-S were punching each other in the arm, laughing over the thought of any of them ever touching that yucky devil's brew!

SliderSarah and Lolita were blushing a bright purple (all those non marital relations were a bit graphic for their tastes).

BritSlider and Sabre-Edge were clapping uncertainly, hoping they wouldn't be called on to help with the editing.

" Ms Yeontoo?" Matty asked in a nasally voice, kicking the back of his left shoe with the toe of his right, "What opinion have you coined for our manuscript? Isn't it totally, like, well constructed?"

Zack couldn't stand the criticism he expected, and lost continence as soon as Yeontoo cleared her throat.

"Aw Zacky. Couldn't you hold it?" Matty whined, his fingers running thru his Alfalfa styled hair.

"I tried Matty. I really really really really really really tried" Zacky began crying. He looked down at his high waters at the fresh spot on the front.

DieselMickeyDolenz furiously wrote some stuff on a napkin, and waved it in the air. Brand_S read it aloud, and handed it to Y, who put it in the back of the book.

Tigs muttered, "Ew, guys, be quiet. This manuscript needs some work, but I think you can make it quite readable if you try".

Chaser9 shook his head. "Its not believable. There aint no way we'd be a-war-ing! Over berets no less. Why would anyone, in their right minds, ever want to wear ugly berets? I'm telling you, you may as well throw that garbage away!"

"Chaser! For shame!" Mychand chided. "You just didn't like being named a Benedict Arnold. No reason to make them cry more!" Mychand adjusted her favorite beret on her head.

"It wasn't that at all! Qball79, BritSlider, back me up here. Isn't it just plain foolishness about the beret part of Matty and Zack's story" Chaser turned tight-lipped. The guys asked nodded their affirmative. "SEE!" Chaser stuck out his tongue.

"I kinda liked being on the A-Team thing" Jorge said, trying to be helpful without hurting Matty's feelings. They were so sensitive to those things.

"Yeah, me too. Airwolf is SO Cool!" SE exclaimed loudy. As Matty preened over the compliment, SE went on, "Only, why... nah, I don't want to know" SE shuddered.

"Guys, It was ...interesting. Why did you feel compelled to use the names of people you know?" Yeontoo calmly asked the hysterical nerds, taking the script back into her hands and flipping thru the pages.

Mychand, Sleepingtiger, and SliderSarah jumped up in their seats, and started extolling the virtues of beret wear.

BritSlider, Qball79, and Chaser9 jumped up in their seats, and started extolling the virtues of non-beret wear.

Eustislider knocked the napping Nobuyuki out of his chair, pointing,"Man, look! They are standing in their chairs, arguing over hats"

"Hats? HATS?!?!" Matty and Zack yelled in unison, spit coming from their mouths accidentally. "Not just hats! Berets!"

Sabre-Edge walked over and took the manuscript from Yeontoo's hands. "May I?"

Yeontoo nodded, absently.

SE he-manned impressioned like he was about to tear the script in half, then he laughed at the expression on everyone's face. Then laid it back on the table behind Yeontoo.

Dellyone and Matty both tried to grab it from the table at the same time. Somehow Matty knocked over the Red Koolaid jug, spilling the contents all over the manuscript, soaking it thru and thru. Matty sat down and cried, while Zack ran to the bathroom vainly.

Dellyone tapped Yeontoo on the arm, "Hey Y! Looks like they are fixing to fight over whether or not to wear a hat."

Mychand, Britslider, Sleeper, Qball79, SliderSarah, and Chaser9 all turned to dellyone at the same time, "BERETS!"

And in this one I don't end up with Mr. Belvedeare, or wrap myself in Charmin quilted, or get my intestines handed to me :) Good job Y. I'm sure Teddy-bear and Kitten will love it!

So when do we meet again to read another manuscript? I'll leave the pitcher of Kool-Aid home next time ;)

...and this ends the BWII story :)

SE

Mychand, Britslider, Sleeper, Qball79, SliderSarah, and Chaser9 all turned to dellyone at the same time, "BERETS!"

dellyone smiled wickedly at them. "I'll tell you what. I'll wear the beret if anyone can tell me what happened in the ending for my story. If you can convince me of what you think happened then I'll wear it. If not, then no way."

All agreed. Sabre_Edge and Yeontoo were extremely anxious to see how dellyone wrote Group X back to life. They had a feeling that she would do it in a lame way like bringing in doubles.

"Where's your story?" asked Yeontoo.

"Let me go back home and I'll bring it back," she said as she got up. "By the way make sure the beret is sky blue with an R on it or else I won't wear even if you can convince me your interpretation is the correct one."

"Okay," all said in unison.

After she left the room, everyone was making bets as to whether or not she would wear the beret. Now they had to wait.

Yeontoo.....I like you, I do.....but once again:

You DIED. Your faction is as done as Kari Whurer's singing career. And let's face it, you swear more than a sailor and..... SWEET JUMPIN JESUS IT'S:
Z
A
C
H
ZACHZACHZACHZACH......

-darkslider

Love Matty and Zacky. Love the manuscript idea...there's always a good idea somewhere (if you dig enough).

Thanks so much for the laugh out loud factor on this one.

hahahhahaha.

ktf
Tigs

dellyone returned with her manuscript and slammed it on the table, waking everyone up. The sky blue beret with an R she had requested was in the center of the table.

"About time," all of them grumbled.

"Well it took longer than I expected since I had to revamp it completely," a smiling dellyone replied.

"So you brought back Group X life? Impossible we made sure of that," said Matt as he lifted his head off the table.

"Better not be with doubles," a yawning Sabre_Edge stated.

A drowsy Yeontoo added, "Or clones. Got to be clones."

DieselMickeyDolenz said, "I bet you just ignored the last Beret War posts. That's the only way you can bring them back from the dead."

Zack added, "dellyone is dead. PoliteSliderFan is dead. Group X is dead. They're all dead and there's no way you can bring them back."

Mychand, Britslider, Sleeper, Qball79, Slider_Sarah, and Chaser9 yelled "BERETS!" once again while pointing to the center of the table.

"Did I die in your story?" asked EustiSlider, Brand S, JorgeCis, Vance454, and Lolita in unison.

dellyone looked at all of them. "Well either you read it or I'm taking it with me and you'll never know. Will you?"

"Okay. We'll read it," they all said.

dellyone smiled and fingered through the manuscript. She ripped out the last page swiftly, folded it and put it in her pocket for safekeeping.

"What was that?" queried all as they watched her.

dellyone smiled evilly at them. "That was my notes explaining my story."

"I hate it when she does that," exclaimed Brand S, Yeontoo and Sabre_Edge.

"You're evil, twisted dellyone aren't you?" inquired sleepingtiger. "You did it again?"

"Um... what?" asked an innocent-smiling dellyone. "I don't know what you are talking about." dellyone pointed Sabre_Edge. “He’s evil and twisted.”

“Me?” he gasped as he leaned forward.

“Yeah. Write a past or be prepared for the one I will write. It’s not going to be pretty. No more amnesia,” threatened dellyone. She then cracked up.

“I like a little mystery and that’s mine,” a grinning Sabre_Edge replied.

Yeontoo laughed. “Jeepers we got to wait another four months?”

Brand S queried, “Any profanity like that first post? You know I thought you didn’t post swearing like that.” All eyes were riveted on dellyone.

“Nope not like that post. Besides I did put a warning on that first post.” dellyone reached down and pulled up a box.

“That you did,” replied Yeontoo.

“It rocked!” said Mychand. Nods of agreement went around the table.

“Thanks for all the positive comments.” dellyone was smiling and began to clap, “Bravo! Matt and Zack for pulling the proverbial rug from under me. I love a creative challenge and you two gave me one for sure. Your posts rock!” She stopped clapping. “You don’t know how much pacing I had to do for this hostage release post. Thanks to Matt for listening to my insane pleading to resurrect Group X from the dead. Yeah I was okay. It’s just that once I get my ideas rolling I can’t shut up. No I didn’t use that last strange idea I told you. That was way out in left field. You could have cut the chat earlier than that and I wouldn’t have minded a bit. Heck the both of you made my work easier in this post even though I had to revamp. So I’m going to dedicate this skit to the both of you.” She poured the contents of the box onto the table.

Matt and Zack were surprised that dellyone took their little twist in great stride. Matt was worried when he was talking to her earlier, but now his mind was at ease that she was okay with everything.

dellyone grabbed the two extra large cinnamon rolls attached together by thick yarn. She bobbypinned them over her head with the rolls covering her ears. She arranged the other items around her. Her audience was already cracking up before she even began.

In front of her was an Etch a Sketch with a wire connecting it to a Lite Bright. A Furby was on her left side. She took out the last item and taped it to the wall behind her.

“Okay. Since you called her Deli-Buns I envisioned her looking like Princess Leia.” Her audience giggled. “So without further ado I’m going to start.” She sat down and rearranged the items in front of her.

She started working the buttons on the Etch a Sketch. “Here are my orders. Tell the ABL that blah blah blah.” She looked at the Lite Brite to see if her message was being scrambled. The colored pegs wrote out FYOU. “That’s not right. It’s not working again.” She picks up the Etch a Sketch and slams it on the desk, destroying whatever she wrote. “Damn, why does it keep erasing my messages?” She turns it over and shakes it while screaming, “How dare you screw with me! This is what happens to anything that screws with me.” She drops it on the table and draws a toy gun from the holster and targets the Etch a Sketch. “Bang. That’s Bang for Bang screwing Bang around Bang.” She turns her attention to her computer. “Did you get what I said you incompetent computer?” The Furby replies in its language. “What are you deaf or something? Say it right or else.” Again the Furby screeched out. “That’s it you insubordinate computer. I gave you so many chances and that was the last one.” She targets the Furby and yells BANG a dozen times.

A smiling Deli-Buns gets up and stands in front of the wall where she taped up a poster. She puts on safety goggles over her glasses and hearing protection, smashing the rolls. She targets the ‘insanely happy yellow rat’ poster. She starts ranting while firing her toy gun. “You are Bang evil. Bang. You must Bang be eliminated. Bang. I’m only thinking Bang of the children. Bang. Bang. Bang. All Bang of your Bang warehouses will be Bang eliminated.” She walks to the poster. “Hey that the last target! Two weeks ahhhhhhhh! I can’t rant for two weeks! My team will like that since they have been all complaining of my screaming. Well I guess I’m going to have to send someone out to get those yellow rat dolls then. Oops I think we hit the last warehouse. Grr… now I got to use the regular targets.” She stopped and bowed. Her audience howled with laughter.

“I know some of you thought PoliteSliderFan killed dellyone at the end of the second post, but she didn’t. That’s what happened in the room. It was a target range. All of them were making dellyone angry so she would take it out on the targets. She rants while on the range and her team couldn’t take it anymore. They were hoping that was the last target and it was,” explained dellyone.

“Ah… that wasn’t a random post then. Groovy,” said sleepingtiger. dellyone nodded as she took off the hearing protection, goggles and cinnamon buns and put everything back into the box.

“Okay, here’s the manuscript. Wake me up when you get to the end and I’ll give you my notes.” She walked over to the large couch at the right side of the room and promptly fell asleep, since she had been working on this for the last three days.

“She always sleeps,” said sleepingtiger, Brand S, Yeontoo, Slider_Sarah and Sabre_Edge in unison.

All grabbed for the manuscript wanting to be the first one to read it.


Beret War: Hostage Release
http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/20062

Original URL http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/20015