Pilot Post Party!! Come one, come all!!!

Date: 03/22/2002
From: Blinker

BLINKER [ticking off items on a clipboard]: Okay, items, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but we've got a party to throw so let's just get this over with.
ITEMS: You still tick us off.
BLINKER: Learn to deal, or I'm getting Infy to do the "moppet" speech.
ITEMS: We'll be good!
BLINKER [placing check marks next to items]: Let's see... house band?
DIANADAVIS: Check!
BLINKER: Bartender?
ISAACTHEBARTENDER: Check!
BLINKER: Jumbo shrimp platters?
SL4EVER: Woo Hoo! :-P I mean, check!
BLINKER: Obligatory onestrwydd guest appearance?
ONESTRWYDD [shaking fist]: I hate this board! I hate you AWWWLLLLLL!
BLINKER: Monkey brain juice?
RICKMAN [standing over a comatose AtomicDaveyJones]: Check!
BLINKER: Reimbursement to the Dominion for the damage our *last* party caused?
RECALL317 [waving piece of paper]: Cheque!
BLINKER: All right! [heads to microphone] Friends, Romans, Sliders fans, lend me your ears...
VIGEANT: Um, the Ides of March party was *last* week.
BLINKER: Oh yeah. [fumbles with cue cards] Um, anyway, this fine occasion marks the seventh year since Tracy Tormé's magnificent series hit the airwaves, setting into motion a chain of events that would bring us all to...
MISSINGSLIDERLOGAN: Can we hit the cheese snacks now?
BLINKER: Yes.
- Blinker 7:-D~~~~~~~~~~
http://slidersweb.net/blinker
"Relive the magic... of every single secondary handle ever created. EVER." -- FogBoy

Woo-Hoo!

Date: 03/22/2002
From: TemporalFlux

Happy Birthday Sliders!!! And LOL! I can't believe it...when I started typing up that post under this one, there was nothing on the board yet. Then I hit post and found you sneaked in while I wasn't looking! :-D
But what's this about *Issac* the Bartender??? This look like Love Boat to you? (well, aside from CoolSlider's prom thread anyway) It's gotta be Diggs, man! Sure...he was usually more of a plot device than a bartender, but he stood behind the bar *some* of the time!
Tf
temporalflux@hotmail.com
http://dimensionofcontinuity.com

W00T!

Date: 03/22/2002
From: HurriKain

GET ME AN LONG ISLE!!!!!!!
(Translation: May, I have a Long Island Iced Tea, please.)
Seven years since Quinn first stepped through the wonderous wormhole that satrted it all. Hopefully, we'll find a parallel world where Peck never tampered with the series. :-)
PAAAAAA-TAYYY!!!!!

HK

Date: 03/22/2002
From: LiquidSunshine

Huh.
A party, today?

Sweet.
Spring break starts at 3:15
....
wooohooo.

Two great things, one fine day.
LS -- I'm bringing the dr--uh, sunbeams, baby! Cause I'm a person, not a drug. Riiiiiggggght.
ps. I did have that pre sign off part as one line, then I remembered who I was...

Join me on the dance floor...

Date: 03/22/2002
From: TheTorch

Who wants to shake their thang with the voice of Veronica Cartwright? Blinker? TemporalFlux? HurriKain? (Sorry, Sunshine, I'm not very comfortable around liquids.)
T

Outta sight!

Date: 03/22/2002
From: IsaacTheBartender

One Long Island Iced Tea, comin' up!
Let's see... 1/2 oz. vodka, 1/2 oz. gin, 1/2 oz. rum, 1/2 oz. tequila, 1/2 oz. Triple Sec, 3/4 oz. Lemon Mix, 1/2 oz. Grenadine, 1/2 oz. Coke float... wait a minute, question.
HURRIKAIN: Yuh-huh?
ISAAC THE BARTENDER: What does "oz." mean?
HURRIKAIN: "Ounces."
ISAAC THE BARTENDER: Not "bottles"?
HURRIKAIN: No.
ISAAC THE BARTENDER: Oh. [pause] And am I supposed to mix the ingredients, or just drink them?
HURRIKAIN [notices pounding headache coming on]: Mix.
ISAAC THE BARTENDER: Ohhhh. *hic* Thanksh, I love you, man. [passes out into his own wine rack, smashing several expensive glass "oz." all over himself]
HURRIKAIN: [grits teeth and begins turning green]
TEMPORALFLUX [turns to Blinker]: I *told* you we should've spent the extra $15 to get Diggs.
SWEETONE: Or at least find some random janitor, give him Hal the Bartender's name and idiosyncracies, and hope no-one can tell the difference. Hey, it worked for "A Thousand Deaths"!
IsaacTheBartender
http://www.isaacthebartender.com/
"So? Who's gonna pick the shards of glass off of Isaac?"

You rang? <END>

Date: 03/22/2002
From: SomeRandomJanitor

:-D

"What the :-# is that on your head?"

Date: 03/22/2002
From: DieselMickeyDolenz

asked SL4ever, PIE falling from his mouth as he asked.
DMD: It's my Shatner Turbo 2000™ toupee.
LS: But, hon, you've got your *own* hair.
DMD: Ah, yes, but it's William Shatner's birthday today, so I thought I'd celebrate that *and* the anniversary at the same time.
Blinker: I think it's moving.

I'm still waiting over here...

Date: 03/22/2002
From: TheTorch

WILL ONE OF YOU GET ON WITH IT?!?
The Torch

Woo Hoo!

Date: 03/22/2002
From: Blinker

Good to see you could make it, DMD!
BLINKER: Hehehehe... SL4ever is one to talk about keeping crawling hairy things on his face.
DIESELMICKEYDOLENZ: Ewwww!
BLINKER: HEY, I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE ALIEN/HAMSTER HYBRID BEARD, OKAY???? [shudders] I don't even wanna know *WHAT* you were thinking!!!!
DIESELMICKEYDOLENZ: I was thinking of a tarantula, actually.
BLINKER [mimicking Isaac]: ...oh....
- Blinker 7:-P
http://slidersweb.net/blinker

"Hey, don't look at me."

Date: 03/22/2002
From: ShatnerTurbo2000

I'm just here for the babes. :D

torch u want to dance wit da silver guy

Date: 03/22/2002
From: SiIverguy

i b wanting that
i b make 6 ft wormhole on the dance floor
i b compassion, i b serenity, i b the flower that sways amid the dewdrops of the soothing autumn breeze
the universe concludes in a shower of dancing neutrinos
infinity arching back upon itself
but i b

Have I arrived to late?

Date: 03/22/2002
From: HandsomeDevil

I wanted to aske the pretty young ladie(LiquidSunshine) if she would care to dance with THIS tall, dark, and sexy stud.
;)

You're on, Handsome Devil.

Date: 03/22/2002
From: LiquidSunshine

Dance with me all night long...
I said, dance...
;)
LS -- who needs a drug when you can dance with the Devil....er...the Handsome Devil

Hey! What Gives!!!

Date: 03/22/2002
From: Joey_Starr

BT looks funny in a party hat!!

I was promised that there would be sliderseth dart boards. I'd even settle for Geoff dartboards. Grizzlor and I can compete with them.
Hey HD,
You can dance with her so long as you understand that the lady is with ME! And I WILL fight for her! I'm her fan after all!

So where are the pigs in a blanket?
JS
HMMM, I want grimlets to drink...

Meow! Where's the Catnip!

Date: 03/22/2002
From: fatcat305

BT gets stuck in my fur.

Everybody's favorite kitty that nobody's heard of is finally here! Let's party!!!

Meow!
fattie

Date: 03/22/2002
From: Blinker

Beginning Text must have darts thrown at it!!
Wanna take me on, Joey? Best out of seven!
The score will of course be kept on the BBoard Dart Board Leader Board.
- Blinker 7:-P
http://slidersweb.net/blinker

I need a drink in a BIG way.

Date: 03/22/2002
From: CrustiSlider

But I don't need BT at all. :P
And after that drink. I'm gonna need to dance!
--Crusti 8^)

Calling some random janitor...

Date: 03/22/2002
From: dellythree

dellythree: Hey, what's a drink name that sounds mildly obscene but DOESN'T riff on "sex on the beach"?
SomeRandomJanitor: Um... Sex on the Beach?
dellythree [sighing]: Fair enough. Any others?
SomeRandomJanitor: How about a Harvey Wallbanger?
Executive [looking up from the wall]: Huh? You talkin' to me?
dellythree: Ugh... um, just never mind.
Executive [moving away from wall]: You must you be talking to me because there's no one else banging the wall.
[all eyes in the room shift to Charmed007]
Executive: Well, *almost* no-one else. [turns back to wall] Slut.
Wall: I don't understand! We've never had problems before!

Did someone say party?

Date: 03/22/2002
From: stuslide

Where's the liquor at?
Well, it's been great seeing SLIDERS all of these years!!!

Stuslide
SLIDERS: ALTERNATE SPIN
www.angelfire.com/ky/sliderspinoff
"Just think of the possiblities."

"The world is a vampire..."

Date: 03/22/2002
From: LiquidSunshine

duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh
<80's dances to Bullet with Butterfly Wings>
Forty-five more minutes of joy, joy, joy.
"Despite all my rage I am still ready to cave..."
<bee bops out>
Love Smashing Pumpkins...
I'm so glad I have people to dance with...
Superstarr and Handsome Devil, chill, there's plenty of music to go around...
<sips a gimlet>
Thanks Supes.
Any chance of me sneaking a dance with the CMM?
LS -- Who needs drugs when you can dance like a ditz with no repercusions? I'm a person, not a...

not a....
not a....
butterfly....

Dances With Wolves...I mean, morons

Date: 03/22/2002
From: TheTorch

The torch dances with Silverguy, tripping all over his two left feet...as well as his right one. (What the **** is this guy descended from, RandomJudgement?)
At this point I was going to say, "WILL YOU GET IT ON WITH ME?!?!?"
But I think we can all forget THAT.
The Torch
Silverguy can carry me for someone else, thanks!

Ey! Sunshine girl!

Date: 03/22/2002
From: Sabre_Ed

How bout ya shine some o those sunbeams my way, sweethearts? :-*
And everyone else get the h-e-double-hockey-sticks outta da sabre's way or I'll sock ya wit da pommel!
Now who's gonna buy da sabre a beer?
Sabre_Ed
http://www.edthesabre.com/

Fun Pekinpaw Fact (03/22/02)

Date: 03/22/2002
From: Blinker

Not related to BT, unfortunately.
Producer David Pekinpaw [sic] discovered Lester's abilities didn't stop at comic acting, and cast Lester in the lead role in "Hammersmith," a Steven J. Cannel pilot presentation about a young private investigator. It was also Pekinpaw who later cast Lester in the recurring roll [sic] of "Diggs" on the Fox Television drama series "Sliders."
http://www.pattersonandassociates.com/bios/Lester_Barrie/
- Blinker 7:-O
http://slidersweb.net/blinker

Vortexing from another world..

Date: 03/22/2002
From: MissingSliderLogan

A whirling kaleidoscope of wind and color appeared
Heralding a visitor from another world
Depositing her near the bar
"WhooHooo," she cried in triumph
Pumping her fists into the air
"I thought I'd never get out of there!"
Thirsty and hungry was she
Spying the bar, rushed to it
Laying down her firearm on the bar
Within her grasp, of course
"Gimme some Pepsi, Bartender
And some hot wings" was her order
"Coming right up.
Please no weapons fire during the party."
Logan just smiled
Logan

I brought the Sliders themselves

Date: 03/22/2002
From: The_Seer

But I did not bring BT.
*****
We see Quinn, Diana and Colin sitting over at a table watching other people dance.
QUINN: So, you think any of these chicks will dance with me.
DIANA: [gives Quinn a strange look] Wait a minute, from what I've been told by Remmy, you don't like to dance.
QUINN: Well, that was Season 1-2 Quinn. He stayed home to either work on the timer or read some book about hyperspatial force fields, or something like that. I'm Season 3-4 Quinn.
DIANA: [eyes widen] Oh, right.
COLIN: [looks out on dance floor] Well brother, that LiquidSunshine woman looks like she'd like someone to dance with.
LIQUIDSUNSHINE: [runs over to them, grabs Colin by the arm, and pulls him out of his chair and onto the dance floor] C'mon Farm Boy, let's dance until we drop.
Now we see Maggie and Wade over by the dance floor arguing.
MAGGIE: It's my turn to dance with him.
WADE: No way, he'll want to dance with me next!
MALLORY: [approaches both women from behind and puts his arms around both their shoulders] Ladies, ladies. Please, there's no need to fight over me.
Both Wade and Maggie look at each other and begin laughing hysterically.
WADE: [doubled-over] That's a good one.
MAGGIE: [wipes tears from eyes] You know Mallory, once in a while you actually can be funny.
MALLORY: [looks confused] Well, if it's not me you ladies are talking about then who?.
MAGGIE: Why, Colin silly.
Out on the dance floor, we see Colin dancing like he's the genetic offspring of Fred Astaire and Michael Jackson.
WADE: That brother of Quinn's really can dance. Maybe I've been pining for the wrong Mallory brother.
MALLORY: [with a puzzled look on his face] I didn't know Colin was a good dancer.
MAGGIE: [shrugs shoulders] Me neither. You'd never know it by the way he runs.
DAVID PECKINPAH: [sneaks in between the three of them] The answer to that question is so obvious it's ridiculous. It's because ... well, it's a parallel world.
Wade, Maggie and Mallory look at Peck like he has 3 heads. Peck shrugs his shoulders and slithers off. Meanwhile, we see a drunk Arturo at the bar.
ARTURO: [slams glass down on the bar in front of Issac The Bartender] I'll have another. [looks around the room] Now where the devil did that blistering idiot Peckinpah go? I was just about to sit on him until he apologized for every bad thing that happened to me in "Exodus".
Meanwhile, we see Rembrant step onto a podium. He walks up to a microphone and taps in in order to see whether or not it's working.
CROWD: [spots Rembrant and starts chanting] REBRANT! REMBRANT! REMBRANT!
REMBRANT: Thank you, thank you everyone. Ladies and Gentlemen, it's been brought to my attention that Slide and the Blinker Stone are running a bit late so I thought I'd fill in until they arrive. So, any requests?
SL4EVER: How about "Cry Like A Man"?
TEMPORALFLUX: No, let's hear "Tears In My Fro'".
THE_SEER: No, how about ... uh, does anyone remember any other of Remmy's songs?
Everyone looks at each other and shrugs their shoulders. Suddenly Maggie runs up to the microphone and shoves Rembrant off the podium.
MAGGIE: Hey everyone, I can sing too. Just watch.
Before Maggie can sing a note, everyone else starts screaming and runs out of the room like the place is on fire.
MAGGIE: [shrugs shoulders] Oh well, I could always ask Britney Spears if I could be her opening act.

Tiptoeing in on little bear feet

Date: 03/22/2002
From: BabyCasanova

Casanova watches Colin run by him with his characteristic duck-like gait followed by screaming fans.
"Rabbit season!"
"Duck season!"
"I love you Colin. Be my Daddy!"
"Colin, you better run or it'll be duck soup for you!"
"Waaatccchhh Meeeeee Ruuuuunnnn!"
Casanova took a seat as Remmy got up to the podium. "Yeah! a real singer!"
Casanova's jaw dropped when he saw Maggie push Remmy off the stage. "Evil! I can't listen to EVIL! See no evil, speak no evil, and hear no evil."
A shudder ran through Casanova as he pulled some of his fur and stuck it into his ear. "Must not listen! EVIL BANSHEE!"
He closed his eyes with his paws and awaited the hell that was going to be unleashed and praying it would end soon.
Hug Me!
Casanova

HOT beaver action!!

Date: 03/22/2002
From: SL4Beaver

In the next party reply!!! WOO HOOO!!
In this one we'll just have heavy drinking and heavy petting, not necessarily in that order. :-P

Mmmmm, cheese.

Date: 03/22/2002
From: Sliding_Skull

As opposed to cheesy BT!!!
I like cheese dip and cheese balls and cheese pizza and cheese sandwiches and cheese on toast which is not the same thing as cheese sandwiches and cheese burritoes and cheese corn and ... um ... that's all the cheese I like.
I'll have two of each, please. :-P

grrr....

Date: 03/22/2002
From: IncredibleHK

IHK <from bar>:no... Long Isle... must have Long Isle... need Lon....

"As I walk in late list niiiiiiiiiiggght"
IHK <looks to where noise is coming from>: Oh no...
"I can see the crystal staaaaaaaarrsss."
IHK <covering ears>: No! no no no! This can't be happening! NO!
IHK ran towards the stage to try to silence Maggie, but as he got closer, the evil singing became more unbearable.
IHK <crawling with both hands on his ears>: Someone... STOP HER!!!
"I smelled the flowers today! I smelled the flowers today!!
help...

I suggest basting her...

Date: 03/22/2002
From: Dexibal_Lector

...ah, let's throw BT into the mixture as well!!
...in a nice white sauce for several hours before eating her.
:-<
Is it wrong to talk about eating a woman?

Date: 03/22/2002
From: Callie21V

Sorry, no BT. Or any other T.

Once again, we have arrived!

Date: 03/22/2002
From: Dunce_Brigade

sliderteeth, Cooties and LL2K fall over the step not understanding the sign, "Step up to the bar!" located above them.
sliderteeth: Get out of the way!
Cooties: You get off of me!
LL2K: We need to get hooked on phonics. What did that say? StEEp Uuuupppee...?
sliderteeth: I told you to get those DEPENDS at the store.
LL2K: Well, it didn't fit on my head!
Cooties: Those were Pampers, you moron. You put DEPENDS down there. <points to crotch>
LL2K: Show me! <pulls down pants revealing everything>
Maggie: Stripper! Stripper! Put it back on! That's something even I won't touch!
LL2K starts to cry. He runs to the bathroom.
Cooties: Someone told us at the last party to go to the zoo and we did.
sliderteeth: Then we went all around the world in a crate. Do we stink?

I don't know what is scarier!

Date: 03/22/2002
From: SL4Beaver

2 BTs perhaps??? AHHHHHHHH!!

Maggie singing or the Dunce Brigade!!
Somebody hold me!!!!

Yummy Yummy Yummy

Date: 03/22/2002
From: Kromaggot

Look at all those Human eyes in this place!!!!!!!!!
{Wipes the drool on his sleeve}

Kromaggot of the North!!

A Large Vortex Appeared...

Date: 03/22/2002
From: Vigeant

Which happened to suck away all the BT nearby..

Changing colors constantly this out of this vortex came a man with more flair and taste than what would happen if you crossed Martha Stewart with Michael Jackson. This person, took off his relatively large hat. Each of the partiers looked at this man with his dark long hair and his piecing eyes. One or two of the ladies nearby fainted. He took off his green tinted glasses and revealed his name.. his name was.. was... definetly not Vigeant.
Meanwhile in a side door a man in the most tasteless red plaid jacket and khakis that were five times too large for him Vig peered in and looked if no one was around. Smiling briefly to himself, he walked over to Blinker.
"So, um, Party eh?"
"Eh? I'm the Canadian here!"
Somewhere from across the room an anonomyus (SP) person with a drum set gave Blinker a rimshot.
"Er. Yeah. So what do you suppose I should do.. you know.. party wise."
"Well, let's see. There's the dance floor over there.." He turned "Hey you two cut that out, none of that on the dance floor!"
"Chaperone?"
"Hey, I was young and I needed the money."
"But you are Chaperone-ing now."
"Wait, did you just conjugate a noun?"
"What?"
"Forget it. I'll.. um.. conjugate you!"
"Is this a threat? You will make Blinker a verb? Pff.. forget it." Noticing the futility in the conversation Blinker desprately searched for some other source of interest for Vigeant. He held up his punch glass.
"Drink?"
"Yes, it is."
*Sigh* "Why don't you do that interview thing you do?"
"The wha?"
"The show thing?"
"Ah yeah, the Vigeant Show, haven't done that for a while."
"Maybe you had better."
"Maybe..."
Vigeant walked away muttering to himself.
*Phew*

Anyhow, if you want to get interviewed on the StudioUSA tradition of the Vigeant Show! (Well, I made it a tradition.. no, please, don't drag me off! AAAUGGH!) Just sign up right here. Vigeant placed a sign up sheet in the center of the room.
Vigeant
"Care for a belt of scotch?"
"But it's 10 in the morning!"
"That's okay, I haven't slept for days."
The Incredibly Exciting Humor Site
http://www.greenghoulie.com/humor
As Seen on Google! And Possibly other search Engines!

Make it stop!

Date: 03/22/2002
From: IncredibleHK

"There's a drug that's killing me. There's a drug that's killing you..."
IHK: Make.. it stop... Lord, take me now...

"Lord take me now. Kiss me on my face..."
TheTorch: See what you did you green >:-#!
"I don want to- OOOF!"
Suddenly, Maggie slammed into the ground, blood trickling down her temple.
IHK <still in fetal position>: makeitstop. makeitstop. makeitstop.
Blinker looked up to see a woman dressed in a very elegant evening gown holding a silver platter above the now unconscious banshee.
Blinker: Who the...?
IHK: Huh... silence... sweet silence. <uncurls and looks up>
... Shirley Bassey?
SB: The one and only, sweetcakes. Anyone want any requests?
Everyone just stared at the legendary singer in awe, not saying a word.
SB: <sigh>, I guess I sing one at random.
<So Ms. Bassey grabbed a microphone and began to belt out "Diamonds are Forever".>

IHK

Gimmee a margarita...

Date: 03/22/2002
From: wadesdiary

Woo hoo! Happy B-day Sliders. Now give me that drink Diggs!

Epilogue

Date: 03/22/2002
From: The_Seer

BT has no Epilogue
*****
As the crowd re-enters the party, we see Maggie being hauled off in handcuffs by Rickman, Kolitar and Dr. Geiger. She has a smile on her face, as being in handcuffs excites her. Meanwhile, poor Rembrant, now in a body cast due to the injuries he suffered earlier, is being pushed around in a wheelchair.
DIANA: [patting Rembrant on the shoulder] I know this hasn't been your night but at least the fans still love you.
REMBRANT: [looking despondent] How could Maggie betray me like that, after all we've been through. I should have realized she was nothing but a back-stabbing slut the day I told her about the horrible experiences Wade and I had when we were held captive by the Kromaggs and her response was, "So this Wade guy kind of sounds cute. Is he an old navy buddy?"
Suddenly The_Seer steps up to the podium.
THE_SEER: [speaking into the microphone] Ladies and Gentlemen, due to the unfortunate injuries suffered by the Cryin' Man, he will not be able to perform tonight. However, one of the other sliders has graciously offered to take his place.
CROWD: [chanting loudly] WADE! WADE! WADE!
THE_SEER: [looking nervous] Uh, no it's not her.
INFORMANT: Well, then who?
QUINN: [steps up to the microphone and starts singing] I've got tears in my 'fro / Cuz I'm standin' on my head, over you ...
CROWD: BOOOOOO! [starts throwing vegetables at Quinn, who quickly runs from the podium]
QUINN: [looking annoyed] Fine! I had enough of this party. I think I'll go home and watch my favorite movie ... "Tomcats".
Meanwhile, we see Arturo with Peck pinned underneath his rather large girth while Wade, Colin and Mallory look on.
MALLORY: Guys, is this really necessary?
WADE: [coldly] Yes it is. He must pay for his crimes!
COLIN: I think he's turning purple.
PECK: [gasping] Can't ... breath!
ARTURO: [smiling and singing a familar tune] I am the ruler of the seas ...

Target in sight!

Date: 03/22/2002
From: MissingSliderLogan

Sipping her Pepsi and eating her wings
Logan watched the partiers
Eyes lightt up when a familiar appears
Dropping her half-eaten wing
Onto the floor
Grabbing her weapon off the bar
Slinking into the background
Watching her prey
Shadowing his moves
Waiting for the opportunity
To finish her mission
A smile
A word
A bullet

Logan

Did I make it on time? It's not 12 here!

Date: 03/23/2002
From: MTwain

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
<Kicks empty pie tin back through the doorway>
<Takes a step into the darkened room>
<Trips over several corpse-like bodies and some empty bottles>
RATS! I knew I was gonnabe LATE! Looks like it was fun!!
Happy Anni Sliders!!!
MTwain
:o)

better late than never

Date: 03/23/2002
From: emzee

Where have I been? Sigh. Always the last to know...
Who's throwing this great party? (or is everyone passed out and asleep by now?)
High fives,
Mary

Hurray

Date: 03/23/2002
From: Grizzlor

as I kick Geoff in the nards

Yo Diary want a table?

Date: 03/23/2002
From: ElstonDiggs

(passes a BT margarita to her)
Peck, the man we love to hate
Continues to asphyxiate
Logan from the role playing game
Sights her foe and checks her aim
Maggie sings and HK suffers
Thank the Lord those villains cuffed her
Dunce Brigade is back from zoo
Post is funny cuz it's true
Twainy notes the room is MT
Face it, Quinn, you're just no Remmy!

"Is he off the stage? Can we come back in now?"

Conjugated Bliss

Date: 03/23/2002
From: Blinqueur

BT mustn't be translated!!
Blinker [blink-ay]
=====
Je blink
Tu blink
Il blink
Nous blinkons
Vous blinkez
Ils blinkent
I'm down for an interview, hostboy. Vig me!
- Blinqueur 7:-P
http://slidersweb.net/blinker

Yeah! Interview me too, Vig!!

Date: 03/23/2002
From: SL4ever

Just do it before you do BT! :-P
As for YOU, MTwain, come on over for a dance!! :-* It's never too late for that!! :-P~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took me all night to change!

Date: 03/23/2002
From: CalandraWitter

Not even *Kari* would do BT. :-O
CALANDRA: So, what do you think?
THE_SEER: Uh... you look exactly the same as you did last night?
CALANDRA [modestly]: Well, I figured I shouldn't try to improve on perfection. :-*
SL4EVER: So... what took all night?
CALANDRA: The button puzzle. It was like something out of Myst. Turns out that to take your shirt off, *all* the buttons have to be undone at once. [laughs] It was 5 am before I thought of that combination!
SL4EVER: You took your shirt off because...?
CALANDRA: So I could put it back on and change into myself, *duh.*
QUINN [from door]: Like *I* ever needed a reason!
BLINKER: Just tell me this. If you're here as yourself, where's the personality module in the Callie21V drone?
CALANDRA: Oh... um...
>>> C

>runtime.error #interact_85

Date: 03/23/2002
From: ______21V

{ advocation of BT's destruction }
This party is certainly {adjective}. The #~fx~`~~~y of the snacks is {adverb} {adjective}! Bartend~r#!-~~~t I have a {alcoholic beverage that makes me appear sophisticated}?
%> Bill's Gnarly Apple Cider
!REJECTED
%> Sweaty Goat's A~~`~~~~
WORKING . . . .
!REJECTED
%> Windex®: The Original Streak-Free Shine!
WORKING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
!REJECTED
%> Smurf Pee
WORKING . . .
OH OK
>>> 2!~~######
%> NO CARRIER

To Liquid Sunshine

Date: 03/23/2002
From: Consecrable

I believe the actual lyrics to "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" are "Despite all my rage, I'm still just a ready to * cage * ." I also believe the actual title to be "Mullet with Butterfinger Things."
Furthurmore, you claimed to "sip a gimlet." Did you mean to say "Gimli"?
T H E
C O N S E C R A B L E

Please stop correcting her occasional

Date: 03/23/2002
From: Jeff_2

typos! ;-) =======> END

The Inevitable Return of...

Date: 03/23/2002
From: Vigeant

BT is friend to all children!
The Vigeant Show set was old and disused sitting somewhere in the archives of the Earth 62 forums and was home to a family of rats, onions, and a bad case of the black plague. A family of the black...? whatever..
Vigeant walked over to his good pal the construction worker, Builder Bob, who was making an ice sculpture for Issac. "Hey Builder Bob, could you build my set for the show and include cameras, lighting, and all that stuff, and have it ready for tonight?" "Why sure."
Later that evening a large amount of the bottom left corner of the party room was taken up by a disgustingly excessive television show set, but was basically a desk and a cushy chair next to it. The desk had a relatively large array of buttons. Vigeant sat behind the desk pushing random ones with Builder Bob looking over his shoulder. "Okay, what does this one do?" "Well, that one puts in the audience in a can." Vig pushed it and a bunch of people ran in eagerly and sat down. "ooooh! And that one!" Vigeant pushed it before he could explain. BOMP! "That's the recliner for your chair, want me to help you up?" Vigeant got back up. "Ooooh! And this one!" Vigeant pushed it and got shot up into the sky. "Uh.. that's the reject button."

Vig landed back in the seat. "Wait, what kind of reject button shoots you directly up?" "I stole it from an airplane.." "Aaaah." "Anyhow, I had better get the show started up and such." "Yeah, suppose so." "Well, let's take a lookie here. Ah! This should work. Blinker and SL4Ever... I suppose I should have Blink on first and then SL.." "Uh huh. Why are you telling me?" "Well, I assumed..."
The Mindless Extra Character that Vig just threw in was announcing in his MIGHTY ANNOUNCER VOICE. "Hello Sliders fans, this is Mindless Extra Character that Vig just threw in live in the beautiful Dominion Lounge. Tonight on the Vigeant Show we have special guests 'Blinker' a native of southern mississppi he likes writing Babylon Five fan fiction, Cats, and Techno music. He is also now in the world famous sitcom 'THE PAIN! THE HORRIBLE BURNING PAIN'. His favorite color is blue. Our other special guest tonight is SL4Ever an immigrant from Alaska, he is an exotic dancer that hopes one day to make the big time in the Haunted House Club in LA! Remember, if you want to be one of our special guests, please sign up now! Now here is your host, Vigeant!"
Vigeant was sitting behind his desk already, too lazy to waste the effort on walking in. "Hello, this is Vigeant and it's SATURDAY NIGHT!" The crowd went wild, mainly because he just pushed that button. "We have a really big show tonight. But let's introduce our first guest, Blinker. Come out now Blinkster!" Blinker came out and sat on the cushy chair. "Okay, the rules of the interview are relatively easy, but please take out a piece of looseleaf paper so there is no screwing up rules 'kay?" Blink pulled a notebook out of behind his ear. "Okay, I ask questions.. you answer them. Oh and be witty and stuff! And um.. don't screw up. We can't be having that or I'll just have to push this button." He accidentally pushed the reject button. "AAAAH!"
Vigeant landed back in his seat. "Whoops. Now, let's get to the questions..
1. If someone in a movie show yelled "Fire! In the Second Row... this whole place... is a Powder keg!" Would you notice him? (Bonus points for catching the reference)
2. Give me a detailed analysis of the relations between England and Russia dating back to the 1800's in less than 58 words. Double Spaced.
3. If you are happy and you know it what do you do?
4. Sliders is:
A. A fuzzy rabbit.
B. An excessively long poem.
C. A Bad Poem.
D. A TV Show that lasted on fox for 3 seasons.
E. On your TV now.
F. Always on your TV.
G. Why isn't it on your TV now Vig?
H. When I get married.
I. A special time in a young man's life.
J. An Ellie Greenwich Song.
K. Now availible at Taco Bell, think outside the bun.
L. An exotic dance that SL4Ever will treat us to.
M. Wait, what was the question?
N. Man, don't grill me, I was up partying all night.. oh wait..
O. It was only my wife!
P. A mischevious little man.
5. Who's on first?
6. What is the meaning of life?
7. Did you or did you not say that before?
8. Pinball Machine?!
9. What is the name of my uncle?
Those are the questions that Blinker faces!"

Vigeant
"On second thought lets not go to Camelot, tis a silly place."
The Incredibly Exciting New Humor Site
http://www.greenghoulie.com/humor

Dude, where's my drink?

Date: 03/23/2002
From: LiquidSunshine

A gimlet is an alcoholic drink using ... nevermind what it uses. Gimli is a dwarf from the Lord Of The Rings played by JRD in the recent live action film.

As for the song...
I love listening to it...that doesn't mean I memorize the lyrics from lyrics.com
<offers coscrecable a gimlet>
Wanna dance?
Oh, and Sabre_Ed where's my hot wings?
LS -- dances like the eighties are back in style to the rock of the aughts; "cause I'm a drug, a druuuugg, a druuuug on the floor...dancing till I can't daaaance no moooorre"

Meow! I ate those wings LS.

Date: 03/24/2002
From: fatcat305

I used BT as my toothpick.

It was the only bird I can find here. I seem to be coughing up feathers!!!

Meow!!!
fatcat

ThomasKegthus couldn't be here...

Date: 03/25/2002
From: ThomasMalthus

Sadly, however, BT could (it's a notorious party crasher)
PAR-TAY!!!
It's SPRING BREAK!!! I'm not going anywhere, but WHO CARES?!! It's a WEEK OFF!! People who don't know how to use their CAPS LOCK

The Tab Key really sucks...

Date: 03/25/2002
From: ThomasMalthus

BT is behind all this, no doubt!!
...are really annoying!!
I'm psyched!! Or possibly just psycho. At any rate, there's adrenaline in my system and I need to release it!
Bring out the Camembert, the Brie, even the Yellow Plastic!! I'm going to be up all night eating cheese!!
ThomasMalthus
Marge: Homer, did you stay up all night eating cheese?
Homer: I think I'm blind.

An Interview to a Kill

Date: 03/25/2002
From: Blinx_

Gamera must be destroyed!!
1. If someone in a movie show yelled "Fire! In the Second Row... this whole place... is a Powder keg!" Would you notice him?
>>> Only if the theatre was located in Chicago.
2. Give me a detailed analysis of the relations between England and Russia dating back to the 1800's in less than 58 words. Double Spaced.
>>> England and Russia's relations while dating??
>>> Haven't you ever heard that the people have no
>>> place in the bedrooms of the nations??
3. If you are happy and you know it what do you do?
>>> Realize you can't be Executive?
4. Sliders is:
A. A fuzzy rabbit.
B. An excessively long poem.
C. A Bad Poem.
D. A TV Show that lasted on fox for 3 seasons.
E. On your TV now.
F. Always on your TV.
G. Why isn't it on your TV now Vig?
H. When I get married.
I. A special time in a young man's life.
J. An Ellie Greenwich Song.
K. Now availible at Taco Bell, think outside the bun.
L. An exotic dance that SL4Ever will treat us to.
M. Wait, what was the question?
N. Man, don't grill me, I was up partying all night.. oh wait..
O. It was only my wife!
P. A mischevious little man.
>>> H, I, and L. But mostly L. Oh, and A, too.
5. Who's on first?
>>> I am, followed by SL4ever. Better yet, just check your schedule!
6. What is the meaning of life?
>>> Oh, he's the infielder.
7. Did you or did you not say that before?
Have I ever said the word "that" before? I dunno. I'm gonna have to think about... this.
8. Pinball Machine?!
Well gee, Ma, it was that or some magic beans. And the pinball machine is painted with a magic bean motif, so we've pretty much got the best of both worlds!
9. What is the name of my uncle?
Your uncle is Bob.
<wanders off to locate a dance partner>
NEXT!
- Blinker 7:-P
http://slidersweb.net/blinker
It's also E. And K.

Get down!

Date: 03/25/2002
From: dellythree

That's right! Get DOWN, everyone!
No, really, GET DOWN!!! She's got a gun!!!!! :-O

o/` Let the bodies hit the floor o/`

Date: 03/25/2002
From: MissingSliderLogan

Vortexing from another world...
A whirling kaleidoscope of wind and color appeared
Heralding a visitor from another world
Depositing her near the bar
"WhooHooo," she cried in triumph
Pumping her fists into the air
"I thought I'd never get out of there!"
Thirsty and hungry was she
Spying the bar, rushed to it
Laying down her firearm on the bar
Within her grasp, of course
"Gimme some Pepsi, Bartender
And some hot wings" was her order
"Coming right up.
Please no weapons fire during the party."
Logan just smiled
Target in Sight!
Sipping her Pepsi and eating her wings
Logan watched the partiers
Eyes light up when a familiar appears
Dropping her half-eaten wing
Onto the floor
Grabbing her weapon off the bar
Slinking into the background
Watching her prey
Shadowing his moves
Waiting for the opportunity
To finish her mission
A smile
A word
A bullet
"That's right! Get DOWN, everyone!"
dellythree cried, spying Logan in the crowd
The Dunce_Brigade dropped their pants
Seeing the horrific sight, dellythree qualified
"No, really, GET DOWN!!! She's got a gun!!!!!"
Pointing in the direction of Logan
Confused that she had vanished from sight
Partiers stared at dellythree
Thinking that too many spirits were imbibed
Ignored the warnings until it was too late
Metal started flying around the room
Hitting one of many targets
Logan's mission was finished

Logan

Got my wings

Date: 03/26/2002
From: ButterflyBabe

Mr. Bartender a drink with a pretty umberella in it please.
Is there anyone left to dance with?
B~B

I'm always available for dancing with a

Date: 03/26/2002
From: HandsomeDevil

lady. ;) <end>

Am I seeing tripple?

Date: 03/26/2002
From: dellytwo

dellythree? How long has it been since we've seen dellyone around here, anyway? :P
d3

You imposters cut that out!

Date: 03/26/2002
From: deli_for

Next thing, BT will copy me!!

Anyone for cold cuts?
d4

Where'd that Butterfly gal go?

Date: 03/26/2002
From: MontannaThrasher

The Thrasher's ready to cut a rug.
MT

I'm always available for dancing with a

Date: 03/26/2002
From: CalandraWitter

cold cut. ;)
DIGGS: Girl, do you have the slightest idea what cold cuts ARE?
CALANDRA: Um... no, but I once ended up dancing with Charlie O'Connell. How much more inept could cold cuts possibly be?
>>> C

Uh, ShatnerTurbo2000?

Date: 03/26/2002
From: ThomasBlinkthus

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
You heard MontannaThrasher... RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
- ThomasBlinkthus 7:-P
http://slidersweb.net/blinker

:-O!!!!!! I'm outta here!

Date: 03/26/2002
From: ShatnerTurbo2000

<hides scissors from Thrasher>-nt-

Date: 03/26/2002
From: ButterflyBabe

BT, I'll not dance with you.
Thanks for the dance HandsomeDevil.
With a smile and low curtsy she flutters away in search of MT.
Come along MT let me keep you busy for awhile. ;)
B~B

Date: 03/26/2002
From: SpiderMonkeeDolenz

Let's see, no BT allowed!!!!!!

SMD survey's the scene. "Man, a lot of these people look alike."
SMD: Hey, Diggs, how's about a drink?
Diggs delivers and SMD goes looking for a dance partner.
SMD: I sure could use a sweet one to make this Spider Monkee into a howler Monkee <eg>. C'mon! Somebody's gotta wanna dance!

You called?

Date: 03/26/2002
From: SweetOne

SO: I'd love to dance. But you'll have to save the howling for later. ;)
SweetOne

Woo hoo! I am one lucky Monkee!

Date: 03/26/2002
From: SpiderMonkeeDolenz

<end>

Maggie gets her wish!

Date: 03/26/2002
From: DianaDavis

She was the opening act for Britney Spears. Or our very own AfL, anyway.
* * *
o/`
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I posted nine times today
I made you believe
I had more to say
Oh baby
It might seem like it's spam
But that doesn't mean
That I should be banned
'Cause replying to fix typos
That is just so typically me
Oh baby, baby
CHORUS:
Oops! *grin* I posted again
Replied twenty times
Got lost in the flames
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
With the sound of my voice
I'm not that indolent
It's true I trust more than most
I'm dreaming away
Believing that Jerry would truly come post
I cry, hearing Flux talk
He says it's a fake, so now I wait for COC
But to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Baby, oh
CHORUS:
Oops! *grin* I posted again
Kept hitting Reply
Got lost in the flames
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think that I'm dumb
That I drink too much rummmmmm
I'm not inebriate
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
"All aboard"
"AfL, before you go, there's something I want you to have"
"Oh, it's beautiful, but wait a minute, isn't this...?"
"Yeah, yes it is"
"But I thought Rembrandt crushed it under his foot after injecting himself with the virus"
"Well baby, I went down to skid r... er, Seer World and got it for you"
"Aww, you shouldn't have"
Oops! I... did it again to your thread
Got lost... on this form, oh baby
Oops! Do you... think that I'm losing my heaaaaad?
I'm not that intelligent
Oops! *grin* I messed up again
That last line should read
"Not that incompetent"
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm a ditz
I don't care if it fiiiiiits
I'm not interested!
(storms off stage)
(stops short and returns to microphone)
o/` Oops! *grin* Forgot my lyrics sheet...
~ Diana ~

Spicin' things up

Date: 03/26/2002
From: CinnamonSpiceGirl

BT you're in the way

changes music to Pink Floyd's "Where were you"
CSG begins dancing sinfully
SL4: Woohoo cinnamon pasteries. Yummy!
CSG

Next Interview-ee

Date: 03/26/2002
From: Vigeant

Vigeant looked at the print out of ratings on the ratings-machine. "Well, let's see, we scored well with aging gophers (well, Joey Simms) and a monkey named Clarence." "Well, that's above our previous ratings." "Anyhow, we have to get to SL4Ever!" "Yeah, don't you do some sort of sketch including a pratfall?" "I usually do, but I am too lazy. Let's do the interview." "Righto."
"And now for the famed Exotic Dancer SL4Ever who, after the interview will treat all of us to the famous 'Dance O' Death, while spinning around ontop of a carosel, with a helmet which is on fire, whistling 'Row Row Row Your Boat' Backwards. So now, enter interview!
1. (obligatory non sequitur)
2. If you were wearing at hat with a witty saying on it, what would it say?
3. What's black and white and red all over?
4. Give me an example of each of the following (I got lazy with the Sliders is)(and if you get lazy it's 4.Sliders is:)
A. A rabbit
B. A TV show
C. A good TV show
D. Funnel Cake
E. Things that end with -ink
F. A James Bond Movie
G. A sleazy Fox special
H. What's on Blinker's TV
I. Monkeys!
J. A Movie with Jane Fonda
K. Kevin Bacon
L. What, how dare you?!
M. Mmmmm.. pistol whip.
5. How lazy am I?
6. Is Gallager funny or not funny floating?
7. On a similar note, what movie has floating in it?
8. Pineapples.
9. Sliders featured this character in five episodes, why not six?
10. Why not?
11. What is the name of my computer?
Thank you, Come Again!"

"Well, that wraps up the current interview-ees... any more?"
Vigeant
"A Swiss Army Knife?! Thank you Dad!"
"I stole it from that Borgnine guy."
(shot of campers being attacked by bear)
Borgnine: "Don't worry kids, I have my trusty... um.. ah...oh..."
The Incredibly Exciting New Humor Site
(Formerly Dukes House of Waffles and Pancakes)
http://www.greenghoulie.com/humor
NOTE: SL4ever's answers were posted separately at http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/27786.

Sends her deepest regrets

Date: 03/27/2002
From: dellyone

Due to *overwhelming* support in the last few months, my time and talents are needed somewhere else.

dellyone

Nothing to fear, willandsmith is here.

Date: 03/27/2002
From: willandsmith2001

BT, the root of all things that are evil.
Sci-Fi, get off your lazy but and bring back Lost in Space and Sliders.
willandsmith2001

Original URL http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/27629
Nominated by Blinker

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