Jessie's Thoughts

Date: 06/26/2000
From: JessieMallory

Be warned I am a female, I love to write, and that is a dangerous combination. OK, just an addition warning for the guys this is more of a rant, followed by thoughts on the subject. The rant BTW is based on a true event that happened to me one Friday evening while I was out with the girls.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Still here? Oh well I warned you!!!!

The evening started out much the way it usually does, when I go out with my girlfriends to a bar. I am usually completely ignored and wind up sitting at our table keeping track of the coats and purses. Or I end up talking to guys who are total losers, who either talk only about themselves, their cars or some sport hobby. The guys who are dumber than a box of rocks and couldn’t talk their way out of a paper bag. But that night met the loser of all losers, who actually carried a notebook full of questions to ask potential dates. As he sat down he proceeded to tell me he like to interview possible dates. Well that is definitely not a line I have ever heard before. So I decided to talk to the jerk, to see what kind of questions he had to ask. Below I will give an abbreviated version of this guy’s question and answer session with me.

“Hi, I’m Irwin. You seem like a very interesting lady. You think I could sit and talk with you for awhile.” (Yes his name really was Irwin; I saw his business card) “I know this is a bit unusual, but could I ask you some questions? I like to know a lot more about someone to see if we are compatible. To see if this could actually led somewhere. I don’t like to waste my or a lady’s time if we aren’t.” (I’ve never before done it, but I wanted so badly to throw my hand up in the air form the shape of an L and shout loser. But I held my tongue and played nice.) So I told him, my name was Nicole and to go ahead and ask his questions.

Questions:
1. Are you single?
His answer: single. Mine: single.
2. Have you ever been married?
His answer: no. Mine: no.
3. Do you have kids or do you want kids?
His answer: no. Mine: no. (I wasn’t about to tell him I have a daughter)
4. What religion do you believe in, if any?
His answer: Catholic. Mine: Catholic.
5. How old are you?
His answer: 27. Mine: 25.
6. What do you do for a living? / Do you plan on staying with this job or moving on?
His answer: Accountant, and yes staying an accountant for life. Mine: Receptionists, and yes I love being an office worker.
7. Do you rent, own or live with someone?
His answer: Owns his own house. Mine: rent.
8. Do you drink, smoke, do drugs, or have you done any of these in the past?
His answers: no, no, no, and no. Mine: yes, only wine, no, no, and no.
9. What political party do you belong to and do you consider yourself a liberal or a conservative?
His answers: Republican and conservative. Mine: Republican and conservative. (Anyone who knows me knows that half of that is wrong)
10. Political issues: what do you think about each? Equal rights, abortion, gun control, military, gay rights, etc. ….? (All answers to long to get into. I’ll just say my answers please him, but were almost too laughable. And his made my blood boil; I almost could not contain myself.)

(I’m not kidding on the next ones, he really ask these) Sorry I will not even go into his or the answers I gave him.
11. What is your sexual preference? Lesbian, Bi or Straight
12. What is your sexual history with guys?
13. Do you have any illnesses sexual or otherwise?

He got worse after that, but I prefer to not get into those questions. Let’s just say it got very uncomfortable. They were not the kind of topics I discuss with just anyone.

Now by the time the questions were done he was under the impression that we were pretty compatible. Now his comments at the end of what he referred to as his test:
“Wow, we have a lot in common. There are a few things we could work on, but over all I believe you and I could make a great couple. So what do you think? Would you like to go out on a date and see?”

Well by this time I was steaming. So I asked him, if he was saying basically that I had passed his little quiz, test, exam? And he nodded yes.

So I said, “I’m so glad that I had passed your little test, BUT … you did not passed mine. First my name is not Nicole and most of my answers where completely false. I would never in my life answer questions like these to a complete stranger. And any lady that would answer these questions honestly is a fool. If you would like to get to know a lady you engage her in a nice polite conversation and get to know her. Secondly, some of these questions are questions that haven’t even come up in most of my own past personal relationships. So why would you believe I would even discuss them with someone that I had just met? Lastly I told him he was an idiot if he believed that I would go out with him. That I would never in a million years go out with an ego manic, who thought women had to pass his test.”

Now my girlfriends got a wonderful kick out of my performance with this guy. They couldn’t get over how well I controlled my anger and obvious contempt of this guy. I could not believe some guy had the balls to go around asking ladies to pass a test in order to date him. Now yes I could have said no to him in the first place, and been done with him. But I figured that all of the smart women in the past had done that already, and that someone should inform this guy of how rude and obnoxious he really was. Now do I believe he learned anything from his experience with me, not in a million years do I believe that. Guys like this could not catch a clue even if it hit them straight in the face knocking them out. Now usually I am a very patient and very shy person, but sometimes I get very out spoken especially when it entails certain topics. Now I have girlfriend who has a saying for this. Most of you should know the saying from “Top Gun” “I feel the need, the need for speed.” Well, she says that for me its, “She has a need, a need to be a B.”

So guys I hope you are not as clueless around ladies or girls, as this guy was. If you are please stop and think about how you treat ladies. If you take the time to get to know a lady and become friends with her, the rewards can be awesome and well worth the effort it takes.

Now as for the Sliders relation, there isn’t a current one, but it kind of reminded me of a proposed episode of a fanfiction in the upcoming Sliderchick’s Season. So I’m not going to get into it. So, sorry if I disappoint some of you, but no Sliders relation this time around.

See you guys soon.

Jess

Disclaimer: for some of you who will immediately jump to defend yourselves and the rest of the male race. If you do then you must undoubtedly see some of yourselves in it. I have seen some of you act similar to this or show similar traits. Which is acting like a chauvinist, and not treating women with respect.

As a fellow place holder...

Date: 06/26/2000
From: Tigs

What a jerk! I certainly hope that 96% of the guys who post here would never do anything that insulting. In fact, I think that all the regulars would find it as appallingly funny as I did. I admire your forebearance while dealing with this -- lunatic.

You poor girl. Love your final comments to him. Way to go!!!!!

ktf
Tigs

How DARE you disparage men like this!!!

Date: 06/26/2000
From: SL4ever

:-D Just teasing. Actually, that lame moron is on his own. Literally, since he has got to be the only person on this rock who would try some monkey assed >:-# like that! Pee Wee Herman has more game than this Test Boy, and we know for a fact how he spends his evenings!

You seem to feel that he meant some sort of disrespect to you and/or other women, but he is obviously far too pathetic to be judged as a normal human being. A bitter enemy to common sense, he is not one you can apply normal standards to. In other words, he would have to be less wretched to be offensive. LOL.

My opinion, anyway.

"If you don't give your two cents, how can you expect change?"

Great story (and I'm a guy)! Thanks!*NT*

Date: 06/26/2000
From: Impulse49

.

LOL! Good for you Jessie

Date: 06/26/2000
From: Slider_Dee

And thanks for posting! I knew there was a reason I rarely went to bars in my single days.

DeeDee

LoL! Good way to deal with idiots. . .

Date: 06/26/2000
From: TimeFluxEMC2

You embarrass the Hell out of them! You were totally nice compared to what that guy deserved because as you said, he won't learn from it. I can honestly say that I have never, and will never be like that. If fact, I'm quite the opposite. There has only been one woman that I never got nervous around, and I let her get away. If I'm around any other women I always look at the ground or something. I do have a big ego though, but only where my intelligence is concerned.

-TimeFlux
"Time is now fluctuating, have a nice day."
http://clik.to/TimeFlux

way to go

Date: 06/26/2000
From: sweetone

I just love the way you played that one. I would have liked to put some ignorant jerk-off in his place that way,
but I was always too nice. However I certainly thought about it a lot of times.
I never went to bars, but there are idiots everywhere.

Sweetone

You go!

Date: 06/26/2000
From: Doctor_Quinn

lol! I've been appalled by my share of guys, (*ahem*, thinking they're Satan, and then another one that stalked me) but never had one ask me those questions!

The good doctor

Oh Jessie

Date: 06/26/2000
From: Mychand

Wow...good job! You have more nerve than I do. I would have just ignored him and walked away. That's why meeting guys in a bar doesn't work. I've only dated two guys that I met in a bar and they were actually friends of friends.

My :o)

Awww! Back to the drawing board...

Date: 06/26/2000
From: Brand_S

Just kidding!

Actually, since I'm not the kind of guy who goes out of his way to find someone to date, I don't know how clueless I'd be in such a situation. But I wouldn't be in that situation in the first place, so that makes it okay! If it makes you feel any better, I'D never pull that questionaire crap!

S

Original URL http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/21653
Nominated by DMD