Flame Tourney is ON! (... almost)

Date: 01/10/2001
From: Brand_S

The Flame Tourney now has an official name...

Tournament of Flamey Goodness and LOVE™ (ToFGaL™)

I've already decided on the contestants...

Dove_Slider
Executive
QandD
RMScream
Slider_Quinn21
sliderules
SL4ever
SpaceTime

Here are the judges...

Blinker
Brand_S
dellyone
DieselMickeyDolenz
Recall317
Sabre_Edge
SweetOne

Here are the Rules v 2.0 (beta)...

CONTESTANTS
1) Nothing is sacred. Hit as far below the belt as you want/need.
2) No poster is expected to take anything anyone else says personally.
3) Starting when I say, you have 24 hours to flame as many times as you need. You face off against another opponent who will be clearly indicated when the time comes.
4) Since the Sass Rating system is a registered trademark of SpaceTime and darkslider, I had to come up with something new... Goodness. Same fuckin' thing. It's a scale from one to ten. If you have more than your opponent, you win. If you have less than your opponent, you're finished. 10 means that you are either the KING or at least a PRINCE or a DUKE or something. Around 8 is BARON, and around 6 is BARONET. To paraphrase dark, 0 means STOP! No, don't just stop flaming, just... just... STOP!
5) You lose points by flaming a judge, using any material that is not your own (regardless of documentation/citation), failing to follow my often fickle orders, or just generally writing shit that's not funny.
6) I make unilateral decisions, and I reserve the right to do so.
7) You got a problem? Suck it up.
8) RandomsJudgment is to be disavowed from and completely unrecognized in ALL tournament proceedings... unless you need him as a punchline for your jokes. Making fun of RandomsJudgment is encouraged, but ignoring him completely will get him to go away, and is therefore MORE encouraged.
9) If you're not free during all of the tournament proceedings, don't expect me to schedule around your busy ass. You don't show, you don't win.
10) If this tournament ever loses popularity, I can't be bothered with wasting my time beating a dead horse into the ground, so there's no guarantee this tournament will even be completed.
11) Maintain coherence in all your writings. I don't have time to waste reading through something that will bore or annoy me.
12) Trolling the First Wave Board and the Farscape Board is suggested and encouraged. This has nothing to do with the tourney, but it'd be fun! If I see your ass on the Jules Verne Board, though, prepare for your Goodness ratings to take a dockin'!
13) Unless he's your opponent, keep Exec out of your flames. He's too easy to use. What you need to write are flames with MEAT on their bones!

JUDGES
1) After the 24-hour period is over, each judge will read each flame. Only flames written under the handle under which each contestant signed up are admissible. For example, any flames SpaceTime writes as space75 won't be counted. This is to prevent another CondomsEdge incident.
2) Judges, evaluate the Goodness rating of each flamer, (You evaluate how the flamer did, not the flames itself.) and send me your ratings. All the ratings will be consolidated in one post written by me. I'll take care of everything. You just rate the flames and send me your ratings in an e-mail.
3) If someone doesn't show in the 24-hour period, give 'em another hour, maybe two. If they still haven't showed up, you know what to do.
4) Comments on any/all flamers' performance are recommended. Let me know if it's okay to post those comments.
5) All e-mails to me should contain the word "Rating" or "Ratings" somewhere in the subject so that my Hotmail filter picks it up and puts it in the appropriate folder. That way, I'm not confused and your opinion still counts.
6) You have 24 hours after the end of the rounds to send me your opinions. I want each judge to have time but I only have so much time myself.

A few more rules for everyone involved.

The winner wins two things:
· That warm, fuzzy feeling of knowing he's better than all five others who signed up.
· A non-evaluated round with the judge of his choice, should he choose to accept.
The judge still reserves the right to turn down the fight for any reason. ("I don't have flaming energy to waste on your pathetic ass, loser" is a perfectly valid reason.) Therefore, the winner needs a list of two alternate choices in case the main one declines.

Also, to those of you I know from AIM who didn't feel the need to sign up, I don't need to hear any more of your little attempted witty condescension at the idea of something so "unrefined" as a flame tournament. I'm getting damn fucking tired of hearing it. Just thought I should share that.

The tournament starts when I feel like starting it. No new contestants will be admitted. Get yourself in a flamin' mood.

S

Please, dude.

Date: 01/10/2001
From: SpaceTime

Okay, anyone else here think it's more than a little ridiculous that there are more judges than contestants? Hell, have the judges duke it out for a tournament, since all of the people "battling" in this montrosity of a sequel sans me couldn't torch a Duraflame log, let alone a worthy opponent. If Darkslider was dead, or homosexual, he'd either be spinning in his grave or sitting on a FAT FAT DICK at this atrocity.

Bottom line: force some of this jibber-jabber judges to fight alongside the human excrement that are the rest of these fighters, or leave. If Brand_S' decisions can be unilateral, who needs the rest of you panty-waists around? Dellyone, go back to writing your overly obtuse fan fic. Blinker, my man, you should be disqualified as a judge as you are Canadian, and we all know what damn dirty things you crazy moose lovers do. Need I remind of Alanis Morrissette, Celine Dion, and the greatest travesty of pure vocal Evil to ever exist... RUSH.

AND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, S, THE ABILITY TO TRADEMARK THINGS DOES *NOT* COME WITH YOUR ABILITY TO USE THE POTTY CORRECTLY. USE IN MODERATION OR PREPARE FOR A WORLD OF PAIN.

By the way, let's clear the air here: this will be the best flame of the tournament. I have no doubt in my mind that the epileptic poo-munchers that seek the Crown from... hell, Stoker_Chick ain't even IN THIS ONE. IT MATTERS NOT, BECAUSE THE JELLO IN EACH OF THEIR HEADS IS INCAPABLE OF DOING ANYTHING BUT ALLOWING THESE MEATHEADS TO BREATHE, LET ALONE FORM A COMPLETE SENTENCE.

I alone am worthy. And I spit upon the Prize.

- ST

One favor to ask...

Date: 01/10/2001
From: SL4ever

... can you give us some time, say a day, between announcing who our opponents will be and actually starting the tourney? I'd like some time to go back and read the mountains of drivel my opponent has posted so that I might attack their record, their little opinions, their inability to express themselves, etc.

If you can do this then hopefully my opponet will waste that extra time watching Xena, listening to John Prine, and eating Cheetoes ... but I plan to put it to evil use. :-P~~~~~~~

SpaceTime WILL go down...

Date: 01/10/2001
From: RMScream

And I will be the one to bring him down. I can and WILL beat you when our paths cross in the tournament. Stoker_Chick took me down in the last tourney, so I didn't have the chance to face you. She's not in this one, though. You say none of us have skill. But, you forgot about me. Might I remind you that we had virtually comparable scores in the previous ToP. It's time for a changing of the guard. I will beat you. Don't underestimate me. That is all.

-RMS

Dove_Slider... some tips

Date: 01/10/2001
From: dellyone

Check my post below for the previous TOP and TOPO. Read the rulings first then the matches.
http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/24422

Be the one that strikes first and the last one right as time expires.

Overall, have fun.

dellyone

P.S.
ST, ROFL.

Original URL http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/24591
Nominated by Blinker