ToFGaL:
SL4ever vs. SpaceTime
Date: 02/18/2001
From: Brand_S
Space:Can you just whip out the big guns now? You playing nice with SL4ever was old before it even started.
SL4ever:
You asked for it, you got it. Personally, I always did have a refined sense of humor, so I'm expecting some of that finesse you mentioned!
You both have all of the 19th to flame. Flame on!
S
PlatzZeit
Ist ein punk.
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SL4ever
SpaceTime,So at last we meet in the flaming field.
While studying your record and forcing myself to read your posts and fan fiction (some of your “creative” writing is so heinous that I had to pay someone to hold a gun on me and force me to read it) I have come to the conclusion that you are as stupid as it is possible for a human being to be and still function without the aid of machines.
Therefore, I am going to take special measures to enable you to understand what I say. I will use small words, simple sentences, and unmistakable logic so that this is a fair contest. I doubt that anything below hiring a retarded five-year-old to explain what I’m saying to you will do ... but logistical constraints forbid me from doing that for you. So you will simply have to muddle through the best you can. Opps! Did I use a big word up there? Sorry.
Over the next 24 hours I am going to prove the following things about you:
1) You are a sub moron possessing barely enough intelligence to breathe by yourself. In fact, you are so moronic that it is as if someone dug up Grace Kelly, got her drunk, gave her a computer, and asked her to write about Sliders.
2) Your fan fiction is so awful that it makes what Piers Anthony shits onto paper look like “To Kill a Mockingbird.”
3) You are so idiotic that you couldn’t even meet the minimum intelligence standards required for posting ON YOUR OWN dominion board!!
4) You are a panty wearing crybaby who threw a temper tantrum when you weren’t getting replies to your hideous fan fiction.
5) You punk out every time you’re faced with slightest adversity.
6) You are such a horrid human being that you’d be voted first off the island even if some of the other Survivors were Bryant Gumbal, Kathy Lee Gifford, Kathleen Wiley, Newt Ginrich, Albert Belle, or Gilbert Gotfried!
7) Your self-delusion about being any good at flaming is laughable. To think of you as a flaming god ... ludicrous. This is just one of the many illusions about yourself that I am going to shatter. It shocked me how little you actually know about flaming. What you fail to realize is that 50% of flaming success is manipulating your opponent. And I’ve been manipulating you in spades for weeks now, especially the past week. It finally got so bad that other CONTESTANTS had to step in on your defense. And even in this very post the Gamemaster himself said you’ve been using the little guns in your weak “flames” thus far.
8) At 11:30pm tomorrow night I’ll reveal the real reason you hate everyone on this board and why you go out of your way to annoy everyone. You’ll be unmasked for the transparent, petty phony that you really are. Something to look forward to, DOG.
Finally, your name giving ceremony. For the duration of this round your name shall be Twinky Diddlepoo.
“I was a little confused ... but it's just one of those things.” -SpaceTime
Und
ein weinend bitch.
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SL4ever
Twinky Diddlepoo,I have to admit that before I sat down to force myself to read your wretched posts and fiction, I bought into all the hype about you supposedly being this great flamer. I had only seen people talk about you second hand, having never had the urge to read anything you’ve written myself. Now that I’ve read your flames for myself, I can’t imagine why anyone would think you have more than a marginal wit and a rudimentary flaming ability. I suppose it just that you’ve been around the Sliders community for a long time. When people first showed up on Sliders boards and websites they fell for your self-promotion. Then they parroted it to the next group of newbies, until a bunch of people had convinced themselves that are you some kind of great flaming god! It became a case study in mass hysteria. If people keep telling each other something for long enough, it becomes reality for them without you ever having to actually prove in on the field of battle.
Or perhaps, as I have suggested previously, you used to be this great flamer years ago and have gotten soft and weak from years of living off your reputation. Either way, you don’t even have enough flame in you these days to ignite natural gas.
A “god” of flaming? Twink, I’ve read your material and you aren’t even a wetnurse of flaming! The few times you’ve actually flamed on this board are laughable not because of any wit you possess but because what you write is so unspeakably LAME. Lame, that is, when you’re not obsessing over homosexuals or biological functions. At that point your writing becomes a sad plea for help.
As I said before, you’ve allowed me to manipulate you every way I’ve wanted to. For instance, it took only a couple comments and a few minutes of my time yesterday to manipulate you into wasting half of your Saturday writing over 1,100 words in meaningless attacks that will have no impact on this tourney. I’ve just been rattling your cage this week, pushing your buttons, until other people begged me to stop kicking you around. The way I was operating you was getting embarrassing. It is hard to imagine a “flame god” more easy to maneuver then you have been. At every point you did exactly what I wanted you to do. At my first mention of your pseudo intellectual one word reply titles you stopped using them. When I mentioned that your continued replies was an admission that I was getting under your skin, you shut up for the day. I’ve already mentioned my ability to make you devote so much time to you yesterday. Sadly, someone must have tipped you off on how I was controlling you because you finally stopped and stepped outside for a breath of fresh air or something. You’ve proven yourself my plaything, you jump when I say jump and unwillingly do what I want you to do when I want you to do it.
But that is the thing I love about people with weak minds, their buttons are so very easy to push.
I mentioned that a lot of what flaming is about is manipulating your opponent. I’ll let you in on another secret about flaming. Sit on my knee and allow me to clue you in, son.
Exaggeration of an obvious truth is ten times funnier than the wittiest unfounded made-up garbage. You could say, “Man, you always stink so bad you could knock a buzzard off a manure wagon at 50 paces!” about someone you work with. That is a mildly amusing observation, but it falls flat if everyone knows that this person always smells nice. If the person sometimes stinks, however, it suddenly becomes a very funny exaggeration.
That is why your nonsense leading up to this round has fallen flat on its face. To attack the appearance of someone you’ve never seen in person is ludicrous, but is okay if you’re just trying to hurt someone’s feelings and they are too dim-witted to realize that you’ve never seen them. That is obviously not the case with me. Likewise, questioning a person’s sexual orientation, as you always end up doing, is just as silly even if you hadn’t run that gambit into the ground years ago. Again, such comments can be mildly amusing the first thousand times, but never very much so because everyone knows it is all hyperbole.
This is why I’m going to win. I attack things about you which are obvious to all. Your third grade literacy skills. Your horrid opinions about Sliders. Your appalling spelling. Your overwhelming lack of intelligence. Your quest to alienate every decent person on this board. Your hysterical obsession with being regarded as some kind of flame deity. In other words, I attack the things that everyone can see for themselves and everyone already knows is true. Which is what makes pointing it out in an exaggerated way so devastating.
Those are funny attacks because they are all truths magnified. I’ll leave for you the redundant (you had the gall to call me redundant! Why don’t you go call someone else gay yet again?) “creative” attacks about stuff which are obvious to all to be your personal homoerotic and masochistic fantasies.
As I said, I was astonished when I actually read the intellectual vomit you call flaming and discovered you’re horrible at it. I also discovered that your methods rarely vary so I am pretty confident I know what you are going do during this round. At least, what you would have done before I laid it out for you and our readers.
You will complain bitterly that only you and Darkslider have cornered the market on flaming and are true flamers. Everyone else doesn’t belong on the same field as you. There will be delusions of being a GOD mixed in there somewhere.
You’ll mention something about me being ... what was the idiotic word you used? Oh yes ... a “pup” at flaming. Despite the fact that I was insulting people when you were still sleeping in a crib. That might not be a good example given the way you react when not enough people post suck up replies to your fiction. It is very likely that you’re STILL be sleeping in a crib.
Your favorite method of “flaming” is to write appallingly impotent fiction featuring your opponent. You mentioned you were going to punish me. Twink, the only way you can punish me is to force me to read some more of your mentally impoverished fiction. I’m immune to bad grammar and childlike spelling errors by now (both of which your writing possess abundance) but really, really bad writing is still painful for me to read. And your writing is so depressingly inept that I need to read some Stephen R. Donaldson just to improve my mood. (I’m leaving you behind again, aren’t I? I’m sorry! Donaldson’s writing is really depressing you see ... never mind. Getting someone of your limited capacity to understand anything complex is a goal as hopeless as Donaldson’s stories themselves.)
I’m sure there will be more about me being repetitive. You force me to be that way because the only way to reach the retarded is through gross repetition. That is my only chance for you to achieve understanding. And, as mentioned above, YOU calling anyone else redundant is like Bill Clinton calling someone else a lying dirtbag. Don’t worry, I’m going to prove how redundant you are later on today.
Another thing you’ve revealed that you’re going to do is to try to make some hay with my previous round vs. Dove_Slider. I know it is hard for you to follow simple concepts so I’ll try explain this so that a three year old can understand it. Hopefully you possess at least that level of comprehension. What you fail to realize about my last round is that Dove_Slider QUIT. Period. Therefore, that round was over. Therefore an apology was in order for two reasons. Her feelings had been hurt and I am something you have no comprehension of ... a decent human being. When the game is over and someone’s feelings have been hurt, decent human beings try to do something about that situation. You are a horrid human being so I don’t expect you to understand that. But that is what happened and I’d do it again.
Oh, and please don’t exhibit for all of us once again how brain damaged you are and try to say that she didn’t quit. Any reasonable person with half a brain who looked at that reply saw it for what it was, a resignation and a condemnation of this tourney. Therefore, as I said, the round was over the moment she posted that. I invite you to try and argue otherwise so that you can display your impaired reasoning abilities.
Even if I sink to your level of intelligence and pretend I have an intellectual hernia so that I can consider the possibility that it was some kind of trick, the rules asked for amusing and entertaining flames. I invite you to show me one thing amusing OR entertaining about her one reply. On those grounds alone she should have been eliminated.
Consider my circumstances. I had an opponent who had done two posts in the entire life of the handle. She didn’t appear in the tourney until after 23 of the 24 hours had elapsed. Did I do what you did under those circumstances in the previous tourney? When you faced this same situation you whined and cried and barely posted at all. I understand. As I discovered, it is tough to fight air. It is hard to get motivated when your opponent is missing-in-action. But unlike what you did when faced with this situation, I made the best of it. I still put some effort into it. I kept at it. I didn’t roll over when faced with adversity as you have demonstrated you will do every time.
Woo
Hoo! Versuch!!
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SL4ever
Bailiff: Hearyea, hearyea, the court is now in session. The case of The People Of the Sliders Community Versus Twinky Diddlepoo, otherwise known as SpaceTime.Judge Incredible HK: Read the charges.
Bailiff: Twinky Diddlepoo is accused of:
1) Arrogance unbecoming a Sliders fan,
2) Being a moron of biblical proportions,
3) Attacking innocent people for no reason,
4) Impersonating a flamer,
5) Pretending to be a Flame God,
6) Being an all around A-Hole, despised by 90% of the rest of the Sliders Community.Judge IHK: What say you in this matter, Twink?
Twinky Diddlepoo: I’m 56% not guilty, your honor!
<TD’s lawyer leans forward and whispers in his ear> : Um, I mean, 100% not guilty!
Judge IHK: SL4ever, call your first witness.
SL4: Your honor, the prosecution calls ThomasMalthus. Now, TM, tell us in your own words what happened on 9-12-00.
TM: Well, I was went to the board as I always do and I was shocked to SEVEN posts in a row by Twinky Diddlepoo. SEVEN! Do you realize how much of a loser you have to be to post seven times in a row? What was the problem, “Touched by an Angel” wasn’t on that night or something? Was the bowling alley closed down because Twinky had eaten raw bison and thrown up all over the lanes? Did his older brother max out his parent’s credit card so Twink couldn’t go to Blockbuster or something? I mean, how bored do you have to be to post SEVEN times in a row???
SL4: Maybe he had seven Sliders thoughts in one night or something.
TM: Oh my god, you have no idea how moronic those posts were! I mean, if you can force yourself to read that drivel, you’d see that he must have been drunk on Ajax when he wrote them. In the first post he said that Muslims suck. That was it, Muslims eat sand and suck. Then in the second post he admitted that he was a Muslim. You see, it was real grade-A moron stuff.
SL4: So then what happened?
TM: Then he really got stupid. His third post admitted what we all already knew, that he is insane. And not amusing insane like Rosie O’Donnell is with her goal of getting a complete collector’s set of adopted children. Not scary insane like Prince is. No, Twink is stupid insane like Tom Green is. So that was the “point” of the third post. In the fourth post he said his brain was shutting down. Gee, big surprise there.
SL4: How would we notice if he brain was working or not? A cheap toaster could perform the brain functions he exhibits.
TM: I agree. Also in that post he informed us that he was skinny, had long hair, and said some other tedious stuff. The next post was so poorly spelled that he must have shot another needle of toilet water before he wrote it. About the only intelligible part of that post was where he called himself a tart. In the next post he admitted, among other things, that a phone was too heavy for his weak ass to pick up, that he actually watched one of the worst movies of all time “Joe’s Apartment,” and his sole means of support is his job sealing envelopes.
SL4: Man, how vapid do you have to be if you can’t come up with anything better than that to talk about?
TM: No doubt. But it gets worse. In his next post he talks about tree porn and beating JOC’s ass. I’ve never seen Twinky in person but if his personality is anything to judge it by, even a punk like JOC would beat a quitter like Twinky so badly he’d look like Reginald Denny when the fight was over. So, naturally I was irritated by this display of idiocy so I posted the question “Is SpaceTime a complete idiot?” Twinky answered the poll himself and ADMITTED in his own words that he is an idiot! He is proud of how stupid he is! He admitted he was!
Twinky: Objection your honor!
Judge IHK: On what grounds?
Twinky: Um, it makes me look like an idiot, your honor.
Judge IHK: Sit down and shut up.
SL4: For my next witness, I call QandD to the stand. Now, QandD, can you tell us about your experience in the first round of the tourney?
QandD: Sure. Twinky wrote one post, comprising of a total of 506 words. The first third of that was some boring shit about being jealous of his brother because his parents loved his brother more. His parents gave his brother everything and him nothing. Then Twink incorrectly predicted that I was a middle child. Then there was this insipid crap about him being a one dimensional God and some stupid promotion for this list he had posted recently that no one cared about. It was a crime against nature that he forced me to read this garbage by posting it in our flame war. This was it! This was all he did during the first round!
SL4: Do you think Twinky is an ignoramus?
QandD: He is a galactic sized one.
SL4: No further questions your honor.
Judge IHK: Then we'll take a short recess and continue this after a midnight snack...
Welche
Zeit ist es jeder?
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SL4ever
What time is it???IT’S SPAMTIME! WOO HOO!!!
For the first time ever, we’re offering SpamTime’s greatest hits! All his most idiotic multiple post series designed to run off newbies and annoy oldbies on one collection! This must-have shrine to SpamTime’s stupidity can be yours if you call now!
Call now and you’ll get the entire 3-14-2000 series! Featuring such unforgettable knowledge as:
“whut hapened to the okonnil bros?” in which SpamTime reveals once again that “im confused” I know! We were shocked to see that ourselves!
And who can forget “tempral flux is MEEEEEN” and “why is arturo a skinny black chick?” ??? Where would the board have been without those posts?
Also included from that opening eight hits in a row were the brilliant:
sLITHER = BEST EVER EPIDOSE
triple threat isnt so scary
join my cult
TRAVL BETWEEN WORLDS!!!
dude!How much would you pay for these 8 dazzling pieces of knowledge from the GOD of Stupidity, SpamTime???
WAIT! Don’t answer! He had more illumination that day!
Who can forget “website is a fake!” about his envy of TemporalFlux’s excellent website?
Or his feeble response to pitdroid25 spanking him in “PITDROID: THE FACTS”
His love of Qballbunchanumbers in “QBALL43185 FILLS UP THE BOARD”
What about his immense grasp of history in that stunning post “PEARL HARBOR” History professors from all over the world were breaking their NECKS getting to that post to see what SpamTime thought about this!
Don’t miss his thoughts on his own horrid writing “why fan fixin' sucks!” or his love for JOC in “GERRY in knew movie!”
Get all 21 SpamTime 3-14-2000 moronic posts for one low price! NOW how much would you pay?
But wait! There’s more! We’ll throw in, absolutely free, the special SpamTime 9-12-00 Spam series mentioned at the trial above! You can’t live without this special offer! Shock and amuse your friends with documented evidence of the level of bored, mindless, annoying little gnat one human being can sink to!
Call NOW and we’ll give you the entire SpamTime collection for the low, low offer of 3 easy payments of 1 cent! That’s right! For just 3 cents you can have all of stupidest and most poorly spelled SpamTimeisms ever written on the board!
Operators are standing by!
Weinen
Sie Baby!!
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SL4ever
Twinky Diddlepoo,I think we all remember the day your last shred of dignity died. It was a day like any other. I visited the board and I saw something so astonishing that I actually hit “refresh” because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! The date was December 11th of last year. The infamous post was:
http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/24188
It was the day you tossed yourself on the floor and threw a baby’s tantrum because nobody was reading your hideous fan fiction. You then did what every spoiled ten-year-old does, you “took your ball and went home.” You petulantly “punished” (though I would argue the word “rewarded” is more appropriate) the bboard by refusing to post the rest of the gutter puke you like to call fiction on this bboard.
TemptressInfinity wrote a scathing reply to your disgraceful display. You replied in your usual bumbling, self-pitying fashion. You even tried to lie and say that you’ve supported Jessie’s “Boardnapped.” But my favorite part was where you said: “I bitch bitch bitch because it's a fairly simple task that, after reading a story, to post three words acknowledging they did. I figure at least 5 people are following the story. Is it so fucking difficult to post "HAHAHAHAHA! [end]"? Nope. So why not do it so people don't have to listen to me beg for attention?”
Do you realize what you admitted to, Twink? You said why not reply to appease the Baby God in order to avoid seeing his disgraceful begging!
I’ll address your foolish assumptions about how many people read it below. So then TI replied again and CRUSHED you. After cuffing you all over the board in the body of her reply, TI finished by posting links to all 7 “Boardnapped” posts, proving that you had replied to only two of them. Not quite the “support” implied, was it Twink? I love it when links prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’re a lying dirtbag. You finished the thread by spouting some mealy mouthed unprovable bullshit about praising Jesse’s story in IM and that action taking the place of replies. You said some other whiny stuff in that last reply but frankly it was so boring I was in danger of falling asleep so I got out of there.
I have a few observations/comments about all this:
1) Only babies get what they want all the time. REAL babies I mean, not people who act like them. Sometimes you’re not going to get replies when you post something on this board. Adults deal with it in a mature way. I know this is asking a lot you (someone more immature than the offspring of John McEnroe and Shannen Doherty would be) but you might want to try acting like an adult sometime. It might grow on you.
2) Thank you for refusing to post any more of that eyesore of a story on this bboard. Property values have gone up 50% since you stopped inflicting it on us.
3) Very few people are replying to the stew of homosexual scenarios, scatological references, and Mr. Rogers level “humor” (“Alt-S not only murmured, it saved the document, too. ”) that is your contribution to the BBSA series. Will you hurry up and throw another panty tantrum and refuse to post any more of those as well? I would really appreciate it. As would everyone else who enjoys not reading those posts every time they visit the board.
4) And finally, more people didn’t reply to your B V. E story posts because they SUCKED!! They were AWFUL!! They were UNREADABLE!! You couldn’t MAKE me read any more of that story with a chainsaw! People who usually hit the “next” button on the bottom of the posts to surf the board one post at a time were going out of the post right before yours and back to the main page to avoid even passing through your story posts! So many people were avoiding those posts that there was a two hour wait to surf around them! You want to know why only a couple people replied to them? It is simple, Twink. Almost NO ONE read or wanted to read them! You are such a piss poor writer that you couldn’t even get or have gotten a job writing for Full House, Becker, or SAVED BY THE BELL, for God’s sake! SAVED BY THE BELL, the most horridly written series in the history of television, wouldn’t take you!!!!
Feigling
Gott.
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SL4ever
Who can forget your second biggest titty-baby moment, the day you announced you were leaving the board for good. This announcement came after harassing so many other people for similar “I’m leaving” posts.http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/21922
My favorite part of this, besides that self pitying story about someone liking your cartoon, was where you announced that you have block everyone on IM because you’ve been such an asshole to so many people that you’d be harassed mercilessly if your IM handle was widely known and unblocked.
What GOD of Flaming would have to block his IM handle to cower from the masses? All hail the Coward God Twinky Diddlepoo!
Lachen
Sie Aus Laut!
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SL4ever
Twinky Diddlepoo,I guess Mommy and Daddy don't let you stay up past 9pm. Oh well, perhaps they will let you get online later today.
Or maybe it is that the asylum you're incarcerated in doesn't allow any patients to get online Sunday nights?
It wouldn't be that I knocked you out with the first punches, would it? From what I've seen of you in the past, that wouldn't surprise me in the slightest. But these are just the first jabs, my boy. If my left hand hurts you this badly, my right hand is going to kill you!
Guten
Morgen Schatz!
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SL4ever
Twinky Diddlepoo,Did you sleep well, girl? Ahhhh, I slept the restful sleep of the just, content in the knowledge that you were cowering under your silk sheeted bed somewhere rather than on the flaming field. So it wasn't really that surprising that you haven't shown your tear stained face here yet.
So what are Twink's intentions? Does he intend a Dove_Slider "parody" ? Will he wait until 11:59pm tonight and then post something similar to what she did? One post to "counteract" the 28 of mine? Is that the work of a False God -er- Flame God? Wouldn't a GOD meet a challenge head on? Defend himself against all charges and then retaliate?
Well sure, a GOD would. But a God's throne room sweeper like you will probably try something that weak.
And that's fine, that act would be seen as the transparent cowardice it would be.
Perhaps you won't show at all. Wouldn't THAT be amusing. :-D It would be indicative of how much of a dumbass you are that you would spend half your Saturday flaming me when it didn't count and then not flame me at all when it did. At least this would have the balance of being exactly what happened the last time you were bounced from the tourney with you showing up after midnight.
Well! Back to it! Whether you show or not I have much more work to do incinerating you.
Beleidigen
Sie Kraft.
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SL4ever
Twinky Diddlepoo,I saw in the news (that thing with the people talking that your parents watch all the time and which you find boring because you can't follow it) that Tom Green's house burned down yesterday morning as I was writing about him in passing while attacking you. My flames are so powerful that even people I mentioned tangentially get scorched! It took 60 firefighters an hour to extinguish his house! Their DOG had to save him and his fiancée, Drew Barrymore!
So are you not showing up because I literally burned down your house?
In any case, 12 hours are now in the books. If I were you I'd put the fire department on speed dial just in case!
No
one who speaks German...
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SpaceTime
No one who speaks German could be an evil man!- Unnamed parole board member, The Simpsons ("Cape Feare")
Clap. Clap. Clap.
Bravo.
I must say you've certainly gone above and beyond the call of duty. You've been waiting for this day for at least a week now and spent much time in the pursuit of looking up all levels of arcane ST links. Thank goodness for the Hall of Fame - you've probably put it to good use.
I admire the bravado you've put into attacking me. I'm certainly intrigued by your fervor. I'm also glad someone has finally put effort into one of these little tête-à-têtes with me.
Too bad the effort is wasted.
You've presented a wealth of material, enough to choke on. Is that how you intend to defeat me? Shoving so much useless yammering down my throat that I have to capitulate to breathe? Of your NINE posts, three of them actually have flames. The rest are pointless soliloquies, news updates about Tom Green's house, fake trials and poorly spoofed CD sampler ads.
I suppose that if this is the "preferred" way to slam someone, congratulations are in order. Because anyone who actually thinks your leaky mouth is producing real, tangible results deserves to be locked away in your sad, strange little world full of 40s, Billy D. Williams, and B-Boy antics, eh, DOG?!
By going on the offensive, you've created a brilliant mindfuck for the populace by throwing out my tried and true methods of attacking people - references to scat and homosexuality (but no 70s/80s/90s pop culture references? You need to research more.) You've also set up a shield by attacking yourself first, making me either a) fall into your trap by talking about stuff you already admit to be a shortcoming, thus becoming redundant, or b) resorting to my grab bag o' insults and becoming the one-dimensional yokel you've been saying I am for lo these many weeks/months.
By backing me into a corner, you hope that the judges will overlook your appalling lack of talent and technique and concentrate on me trying to dig myself out of a manufactured situation. The truth of the matter is that your nonalogue is little more than a subjective history lesson taken out of context, with derivative methods to try and sound funny and impressive when in fact the only thing humorous about them are your quotes of my material.
It isn't I who have walked into a trap. You seen, I too can play the passive man and work the magic with out saying a word. You have fallen prey; not to me, but to my ideology.
Indeed, your flaming abilities are little more than a hodge-podge of SpaceTime, darkslider and Dellyone. Throw in some name-calling and a trial sequence and you're golden, right?
Let's distill the diarrhea that you've posted into its barest essentials:
1. SpaceTime is a weak-minded loser.
2. SpaceTime cannot write.
3. RMScream's post was a plea from me to get you to back off.
4. Flaming is all about manipulation AND physical attacks UNLESS you're SpaceTime, because then it's "nonsense."
5. My spelling is atrocious.
6. I have called myself the God of Flame.
7. SpaceTime is repetitive.
8. SpaceTime is arrogant.
9. SpaceTime is a pseudo-intellect.
10. SpaceTime isn't innovative.First, a quick rebuttal: I am *a* God of Sliders Web Sites. This term was coined by darkslider, not me. Sure, I use it, but I've never claimed to be a Flame God. A god, yes. A king, yes. FG? No.
Also, any spelling errors committed in BvE were in dark's chapters.
It is my assertion that you are little more than a shadow version of myself in all things flame. An Acolyte to the High Priest. You may know the skills, but you are a pupil and not the teacher. Every single attack you volley on me can be redirected back at you. Observe:
- SpaceTime is a pseudo-intellect: Referencing Stephen R. Donaldson doesn't make you a smart person. If I sit and spout Boethius' "Consolation of Philosophy" on the BBoard with the sole intention of trying to shove my superiority in people's faces, does that make me sound more intelligent? No, it just shows that I know a couple words, or in your case, a general description of an author's tone. Oh, hey, let’s not forget about Piers Anthony!
- SpaceTime is arrogant: Brother, if anyone is arrogant, it's you. You're so sure of yourself and your prowess in this round that you might as well SOUND THE HORN, announce you're too fucking good for the tournament and walk off. Because really, you've got nothing to prove, right? If I'm established best of the board by most posters standards and you KNOW you're better than me, why even stick around? Why not just leave with that smug, silly smile on your face since it's all beneath you?
Sound familiar? I did the same thing. BECAUSE I'M ARROGANT. And so are you. Welcome to the club.
- SpaceTime is repetitive and not innovative: Let's see. I talk about vague references to sexuality and how fun it is to autofellate oneself. You choose to "borrow" Blinker's/The_Cynic's/[insert name here] MST3K of various episodes. I choose to write, along with darkslider, an epic story (epic in that it is long, regardless of your thoughts on its quality) about the people of the BBoard. You write about the Sliders trapped in Christmas... THREE TIMES!
Oh, wait, you mean in flaming styles? If by that you mean that I argue with people over the true nature of Jewish genocide, bicker about the viability of an embryo, fight over hypocritical statements about religion and government and basically stab at people with my opinions, while you sit and talk about how you're going to beat me, talk about how you're going to beat me and rant endlessly about how you're going to BEAT ME (in between Christmas-related Sliders posts), I guess you're right.
- RMScream's post was a plea from me to get you to back off: People actually defend and think highly of my writing. Aside from assorted "LOL [nim]" replies to your babbling, what do you get? God forbid someone else chime in and tell you what everyone's thinking: "keep it on the D-L, LOC....lest you get dealt wit'?" But oh, wait! Now I'm making spot judgments about how you look physically! After all, I don't know how much of a home slice you is, right Willis?
- SpaceTime's post titles are silly: So, while I use terse, one-word titles like "Denouement" instead of "Parting words on the subject," YOU steal darkslider's idea of posting nonsensical jibber-jabber in a foreign language to once again prove your intellect AND arrogance. Superb!
- SpaceTime cannot write: SpaceTime won two Art Buchwald Awards for satire and received a letter of appreciation from Dave Barry for his writing. Total award money: $10,000. SpaceTime is also the only person to win the award twice, EVER. What has your writing done lately except eat up bandwidth and web space on Gate Haven?
- SpaceTime is a weak-minded loser: SpaceTime sleeps when it gets late and doesn't spend half his life attached to a BBoard waiting for you to post. SpaceTime also has enough of a life to not spend days agonizing over what you're sure is a blistering attack on my psyche, when all it is is proof that you are just like me, sans finesse.
I'll discuss your defensive behavior regarding Dove_Slider and why you're taking this whole thing so personally in the next post. My third post will mark the end of rebuttals.
Why only four posts instead of your usual 57? Because any more would be as useless as the 900 you've already decided to urinate onto this BBoard.
- ST
BEADJKLD
EXOP{RE
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SpaceTime
Before I begin the next salvo, I'd like to point the reading audience to these two links:http://www.geocities.com/Broadway/7197/famous.html
and
http://www.geocities.com/Eureka/Park/9284/df25.jpg
Why? Take a peek. After you've had a quiet chuckle over someone who has even less of a life than Executive, come back here and soak in the goodness.
Now, in all seriousness, what's more debilitating to the eye? Looking at some freakish Philipino kid with a Topanga complex or reading the mindless monologue SL's been spouting? It's a toss-up, I know. Staring at Danielle Fishel's grossly misproportioned body is about as alluring as attending Executive's lecture series on First Wave, but when faced with the only other choice...
LISTEN UP, LITOMAN, PUTTING YOUR HEAD ON BEN SAVAGE'S HEAD IS NOT ONLY UNHOLY, IT'S JUST PLAIN DISTURBING.
On the plus side, it looks like Morte de SpaceTime is finally coming to fruition. Darkslider's ability to weave POINTLESS VERBOSITY with the most random storyline in HISTORY is amazing. Every time I think of Executive in that helmet I think back to that night when dark touched me for the very first time... oh, the GLORY.
Speaking of darkslider, it's now February 19, almost a full year since he promised to drive his WHITE JETTA down to L.A. I know it's difficult to drive the straightness that IS INTERSTATE 5, but shit...
"Poppa loves Pappy." WHAT A LOAD. IF HE LOVED ME HE'D BE DOWN HERE!
The sad truth is that darkslider would rather feel the velvet touch of MISS SCARLETT than that of his true LOVE. RICE DOESN'T REPLACE SASS, Sweet Pea.
It's raining outside, and a old lady almost got hit by the a Trader Joe's truck pulling into the parking lot outside my window. It was amusing - HIGHLY amusing. There's something about old people throwing every last ounce of energy into one frantic dive that makes me laugh the Laugh of the DAMNED.
ACK - Bjork just came on the radio. I swear, listening to her makes me think back to that video she had where HUGE RABID TEDDY BEARS chased a moth while she cried and hit her head on a keyboard. Nightmares, my friends. NIGHTMARES. Nightmares that, mixed with SL4ever's ravings, have produced the virtual lethargic state I am in now.
Why am I linking you to other sites off the BBoard and talking about pointless bullshit? Because I'm so positive that I will emerge victorious in my battle against SL4ever, I can waste your valuable time directing you to pictures of people obviously under the influence of powerful narcotics! That, and, if SL4ever can do it, hey, why can't I? At least I'll make it remotely interesting.
Bah, SL4ever. Is he funny? No. Is he clever? No. Would his strongest flame dent the paper-thin skull that belongs to Exec? No. Why? Because it's just not good. Do people realize this? I sure hope so.
- ST
Article
Title
Handle
Date
Post text.
Intermission
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SpaceTime
Have fun *proving* the following:1) You are a sub moron possessing barely enough intelligence to breathe by yourself. In fact, you are so moronic that it is as if someone dug up Grace Kelly, got her drunk, gave her a computer, and asked her to write about Sliders.
BTW, Grammar and Punctuation Boy, that last comma? NOT NECESSARY.
2) Your fan fiction is so awful that it makes what Piers Anthony shits onto paper look like “To Kill a Mockingbird.”
3) You are so idiotic that you couldn’t even meet the minimum intelligence standards required for posting ON YOUR OWN dominion board!!
That thing is still up? What's the URL? What about my SIY BBoard? Do I have the minimum intelligence to get into that one? Hell, if RealmKeeper did, I'm a shoo-in!
4) You are a panty wearing crybaby who threw a temper tantrum when you weren’t getting replies to your hideous fan fiction.
Even when you brought this up, you still didn't provide a DIRECT LINK. Do so for everyone, please, Honus. Because I'm sure everyone's a' itchin' ta see it.
And I wear thongs, not panties. Sorry for the mental image, folks, but that'll come in handy in my next post.
5) You punk out every time you’re faced with slightest adversity.
Uh huh.
6) You are such a horrid human being that you’d be voted first off the island even if some of the other Survivors were Bryant Gumbal, Kathy Lee Gifford, Kathleen Wiley, Newt Ginrich, Albert Belle, or Gilbert Gotfried!
What if Executive was on the island, too? Or QBall43185? Or, *shudder*... JLBANKER?! [audience gasps]
7) Your self-delusion about being any good at flaming is laughable. To think of you as a flaming god ... ludicrous. This is just one of the many illusions about yourself that I am going to shatter. It shocked me how little you actually know about flaming. What you fail to realize is that 50% of flaming success is manipulating your opponent. And I’ve been manipulating you in spades for weeks now, especially the past week. It finally got so bad that other CONTESTANTS had to step in on your defense. And even in this very post the Gamemaster himself said you’ve been using the little guns in your weak “flames” thus far.
You're going to prove that my self-delusion is laughable? HHH! There, I just laughed. Any more to your theorem?
8) At 11:30pm tomorrow night I’ll reveal the real reason you hate everyone on this board and why you go out of your way to annoy everyone. You’ll be unmasked for the transparent, petty phony that you really are. Something to look forward to, DOG.
This really isn't a proof, per se. More of an observation. Not much of one if you have to reveal it to the whole BBoard, since they already know I'm petty and transparent. Just ask TemporalFlux. Or here, look at this post if you can't raise him on AIM:
http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/24249/10
Oh, here's another list! Just when I thought SL was gonna get FRESH and ORIGINAL!
Bailiff: Twinky Diddlepoo is accused of:
1) Arrogance unbecoming a Sliders fan
You mean like you?
2) Being a moron of biblical proportions
A fair accusation.
3) Attacking innocent people for no reason
They were all idiots.
4) Impersonating a flamer.
Twizzler will FOREVER be the GREATEST FLAMER in the history of BBoard.
5) Pretending to be a Flame God
6) Being an all around A-Hole, despised by 90% of the rest of the Sliders Community
Thankfully the 10% of the crew that love me include Brand_S, Blinker, Season Four producer Marc Zicree and Sliders actor Cleavant Derricks.
Sorry to even throw this in, judges, but since SL4ever was producing such completely lackluster material, I felt I should dip my bar a little and throw this post out there in an attempt to curry favor with his audience!
- ST
Denouement
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SpaceTime
I've been called many things by many people. Jackass. Hypocrite. Retarded. Brilliant. Loyal. Funny.I've also copped to being an ass. If you ask around on this BBoard who says I'm an ass the most, the irrefutable answer is ME. People like ThomasMalthus, Buffyboy and FunnyManJake (aka SillySillerson) conduct polls asking if people think I'm an asshole. I KNOW I'm an asshole - I don't need people to try and gather evidence supporting the accusation.
"So at last we meet in the flaming field."
Likewise, when I feel a flame is in order, I post then and there. I flame when it is WARRANTED, not when it will get me the most BROWNIE POINTS. Waiting around to deliver your second "opus" within the confines of the tournament, SL, only shows what a poor flamer you truly are. Who the hell sits around and takes it because he'd rather look like someone's bitch on a Saturday when it isn't judged so he can try and look like a warrior two days later? YOU. And that says a lot.
It says that public perception is all to you. Don't you get it, sizzlechest? You can't have a positive public image and be a hardened flame warrior at the same time. PICK ONE. Be the jackass that everyone likes but is too afraid to admit it or be the lame one-a-week poster whose sole contribution to the BBoard is season fan fiction and ripping apart episodes of Sliders that are so bad that it's totally unnecessary.
"For instance, it took only a couple comments and a few minutes of my time yesterday to manipulate you into wasting half of your Saturday writing over 1,100 words in meaningless attacks that will have no impact on this tourney."
As opposed to the 5,000 words in meaningless attacks today. Where's the differentiation?
"At 11:30pm tomorrow night I’ll reveal the real reason you hate everyone on this board and why you go out of your way to annoy everyone."
What's the revelation? Most of the people on the BBoard are idiots. The people that aren't I talk to in private where we can goof on all the self-important yahoos like you as you primp each other's feathers like peacocks gearing up for a mate. I've said this a million times. There's nothing even remotely relevant here. As for annoying EVERYONE and hating EVERYONE, I know this is strictly a matter of semantics, Leonardo, but I know I don't annoy 100% of the BBoard populace and I don't hate everyone there, so that lets a little air out your overinflated ego.
When it all boils down to it, the bulletin board is pretty meaningless. Someone posts a rant. Another posts a story. Occasionally Executive shows up. Maybe one in 100 posts has any level of human drama to it that makes it interesting. Fan fiction is great and is probably the only reason the BBoard stays alive. Is all of it good? Lord no. We don't need to look any further than Dorky and Slider75 to know that. Is it wrong to want people to acknowledge having read your story? No.
Is it typical for you to base 90% of your offensive on me bitching about getting no responses to BvE? Absolutely! Because you really have nothing else to stand on in terms of attack other than my Silverguy imitation (http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545?lnum=12576) and some stupid posts from last year. Wow, chief! And hey, way to reference yourself in your "CD Offer" post in case the dunderheads reading couldn't figure out your were talking about the post RIGHT BEFORE IT.
Meanwhile, as you attack me using my own methods of apathetic offense, you reveal yourself as the MASSIVE HYPOCRITE you are by doing the very things you deride me for. I've already touched on most in the previous post, but there are a few more. Name calling? Covered. "Clever" fan fiction painting the opponent in a negative light? Your "trial" is a pretty stellar example of this.
MIND-NUMBING, ENDLESS REPETITION?
"Hello, I'm SL4ever. I'm going to basically punch up what I said to Dove_Slider and re-use it for SpaceTime. Because nobody knows how to teach Flame Etiquette not once, BUT TWICE, like me! LOL!* I'll be able to cut and paste because everyone got so sick of my meandering mess the first time around they never read the whole thing! It'll be like new material this time 'round!"
Yeah, I talk a lot about how funny it is to fist Executive, and I post a lot of stupid shit. With the exception of BvE, which took several months of collaboration with darkslider, I'm not concerned with what people think about my writings. I don't apologizing for acting like a bitch because the people who appreciate that kind of stuff acknowledged their appreciation afterward.
I don't care if I talk about Magilla Gorilla 5 times in a year. I don't care if my next post deals with Executive's carnal lust for Warren G. Harding. The depths have been plumbed, my ignorant friend. I can only talk about my favorite Season 4 episodes so many times. I don't know what opinion of Sliders I had is so horrid, so why don't you tell me. You seem to be the Master Archiver of all things stupid regarding SpaceTime.
"To attack the appearance of someone you’ve never seen in person is ludicrous, but is okay if you’re just trying to hurt someone’s feelings and they are too dim-witted to realize that you’ve never seen them."
Right. To me, you will always be Mad Ups, the skinny little white kid whose pants legs are wider than HIS WAIST, trippin' ova his PHAT ASS wallet chain while drinkin' a 4-0 of Body Slam. Your hat turned backward and your dialogue painfully urban from trying to sound like something you aren't. WHAT THE DILLY-O, PEEPS you scream as everyone around you flees the living embarassment you are. Occasionally you look down at your Rocky and Bullwinkle watch and think back to a happier time when you were persecuted simply for being ugly instead of being ugly and completely lame.
This is the mental image I have of you. I have mental images of everyone on the Bulletin Board. Brand_S with his erotica collection from Final Fantasy hanging on the wall. Blinker feverishly moving between his shit-ass old MacIntosh and his laptop as he tries to update FOUR BILLION WEB SITES SIMULTANEOUSLY. Tf and his timers in position that should NOT be humanly possible.
"That is obviously not the case with me."
Yes, because describing me as the drooling moron defending himself at a puppet court doesn't conjure any images, dipshit.
"Likewise, questioning a person’s sexual orientation, as you always end up doing, is just as silly even if you hadn’t run that gambit into the ground years ago. Again, such comments can be mildly amusing the first thousand times, but never very much so because everyone knows it is all hyperbole."
Oh yeah? What if I was gay? Who gives a shit what sexual orientation anyone is? And it continues to be funny because I, like darkslider, continue to reinvent the wheel. Sure, we're talking about the same shit, but we present it a different way every time. Just because something's been said doesn't mean it can't be revisited. Oh wait. According to you, if it's been said before people should just go with the original source of information, right? ANOTHER Space-ism, from back in the day when "What happened to Jerry and Charlie?" was a daily affair.
You ask me to consider your circumstances. Why should I? You obviously never bother for a second to consider mine. Evidenced enough by your repeated harassment regarding BvE.
You're so full of shit. Who cares if she didn't appear in the tournament until 11:59p? You still had 5 posts written before that showing what a lousy attacker you are. When faced with my situation regarding TimeFluxEMC2 I DESTROYED him (http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/21725). When I tossed it up with Sabre_Edge I turned him into POWDER, the homosexual superbeing, only after sticking him in a COLOSTOMY BAG in a parallel universe. I TROUNCED Dellyone by mocking her. I popped SV's cherry. Interestingly enough, you borrow enough from SingularVision's "attack" (http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/21880) that I'm left wondering if you're a plagarizer in addition to being a repetitive jackass. I mean, commenting on where I am, if I'm sleeping, calling me on not being around 45 minutes in... the similarities, Kumquat, the similarities.
So I get to the final round and I'm burnt out and I go get drunk and miss the tournament. Holy shit, Batman! The thing is, you've never made it that far, so who the fuck are you to say? CONSIDER MY CIRCUMSTANCES, hypocrite.
"I didn’t roll over when faced with adversity as you have demonstrated you will do every time."
Name another "demonstration" of me pussing out.
It's one thing to shred another person while maintaining respect for their foe. Even when I battle Informant or Hunter I still respect them as an individual. Because the Flame is merely a chest-puffing contest. It cannot be anything more because a Flame is devoid of personality. Injecting one with such ruins the Game. Remember, this IS a Game.
You are a cowardly little fool who only claim to "fame" is to try and "beat" me on this Bulletin Board, attacking me with the EXACT SAME themes as me while denouncing those same themes in the same SENTENCE. Highly baffling.
I'm not the most eloquent person here. I don't pretend to be, hence the colorful language. I don't pretend to be much of anything, so whatever you've got "waiting" for the witching hour can't be too big of a revelation, Popeye. Have fun throwing the next 15 chapters of useless crap up on the BBoard. Just because you wrote two posts with any semblance of structure or content doesn't mean that the next 22 are going to be books of the Bible.
I hope having your mom proofread all of your posts before posting them gave you a sense of self-satisfaction that only comes when YOU PLUNGE YOUR HAND INTO YOU TINY ASSHOLE.
Ah... being unapolegetically derivative has its advantages.
- ST
*Blinker, S, I use the "LOL" here because SL4ever could never understand the complexities of "HHH."
Genius.
SHEER GENIUS.
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SpaceTime
A parting shot...EFFD.
And if that doesn't work -
JUBBLIES.
- ST
Intelligenz
Ausschuß.
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SL4ever
Twinky Diddlepoo,On 10-4-99 you created the “Sliders-Intelligent Discussion” topic on the Dominion. Not only is the thought of someone as dim-witted as you creating an “intelligent” board hysterically funny but you go even further in your creation statement! Along with some self-righteous drivel you actually say the board is a safe haven from “raving lunatics/idiots.” You actually had the nerve to say that! That would be like Rosie O’Donnell creating a safe haven away from fat lesbians! Is it possible you’re so far down the intellectual ladder that you don’t even realize how stupid you are? Could you be so deluded that you’ve actually convinced yourself that you’re smarter than someone else? And you pluralized lunatic and idiot, so that implies that you believe that there is actually more than one person less intelligent than you! Finding ONE person less intelligent than you would be a miracle rivaling the loaves and fishes. I hate to break it to you, but the odds of finding MORE than one person less intelligent than you are so astronomical that you have a better chance of winning an 8 digit lottery you didn’t buy a ticket for.
Your amusing delusions aside, some other observations about this “intelligent” board.
1) You created it 10-4-99 and it finally went belly up on 3-7-2000. There has not been a single post or reply since then. It only took five months for this pathetic attempt to get attention to die from lack of interest.
2) In those five months there were only 54 posts, so it was not exactly a hotbed of activity even before it finally, mercifully, died.
3) You made only TWO of those posts! The first was a welcome post the first day and the second was a post about the Pilot two days later. I didn’t bother to look if you replied after that but you never posted again. So that tells me that you had nothing intelligent to contribute! You couldn’t even meet your OWN definition of intelligence! I don’t see how someone can be any stupider than that!
One final note about that Pilot post before we move on. You babbled with your usual poor grammar about Quinn being 19 when this family photo was taken when every other episode stated that Quinn was 12 when his father died. You finished up by saying “I was a little confused about the photograph, too, at first, but it's just one of those things.”
After I recovered from my shock that you found a simple picture confusing, I realized that your statement is your motto in life. You were a little confused, but that’s just one of those things. That tells me a lot about you. You find so many things confusing that you have learned to take it in stride. You dismiss these frequent occurrences as just being the reality of your miserable existence.
Dies
IST verständliches Deutsch!
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SL4ever
Twinky Diddlepoo,Thank you for actually showing up. I had a little side bet going that you would, as you so eloquently put it, “puss out.” Oh, and if you could actually read German you would realize that what I was saying is not gibberish. But I’m surprised you can read English, German would be asking for way too much out of you.
Allow me to address “Denouement” first. Not that you could stop me, but there is no reason not to be polite.
Where have I said you’re gay? Oh sure, your fan fiction implies that and your other disturbing fetish...
http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/24887
Homosexual references: 12 (at least!)
Scat/peeing or crapping references: 10
Heterosexual references: 1 (2 if you count the word “HETEROREPUBLICAN” but that would be really reaching)
http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/24736/16Homosexual references: 2
Scat/peeing or crapping references: 4
Heterosexual references: 0
... for example. There is nothing wrong with you being gay. I don’t have a problem with it. But there is also nothing more amusing about gay people than about any other aspect of a person that makes them different than everyone else. If you were bashing everything equally that would be one thing but my point is that you obsess with it endlessly. Yes, I obsess with writing Sliders fan fiction, and that obsession SAYS something about me. It says that I need to get out of the house more and develop other interests. Likewise, your obsession with body functions and homoerotic fictions SAYS something about you. Only you can determine exactly what, but it is worth your time to sit and think about why you feel the need to continuously think of new ways to make fun of those things
Your “logic” is amusing. On one hand, you said: “It's one thing to shred another person while maintaining respect for their foe. Even when I battle Informant or Hunter I still respect them as an individual. Because the Flame is merely a chest-puffing contest. It cannot be anything more because a Flame is devoid of personality. Injecting one with such ruins the Game. Remember, this IS a Game.”
But on the other hand you said: “Likewise, when I feel a flame is in order, I post then and there. I flame when it is WARRANTED, not when it will get me the most BROWNIE POINTS. Waiting around to deliver your second "opus" within the confines of the tournament, SL, only shows what a poor flamer you truly are. Who the hell sits around and takes it because he'd rather look like someone's bitch on a Saturday when it isn't judged so he can try and look like a warrior two days later? YOU. And that says a lot.”
So which is it, Twinky? Is this a game or not? If it is a game then obviously I’m only going to exercise myself when the score is being kept. For me to do otherwise would be stupid. By arguing that I should work up a sweat attacking you before the tourney starts you’re just exhibiting yet again your flawed mental powers. You call me a hypocrite but here you are talking out of both sides of your mouth. While I’m on this subject, you flamed people for announcing they were leaving and then you turned around and did the same thing last summer! If that doesn’t make you a galactic sized hypocrite then I don’t know what does.
As I said, I’ve been rattling your cage this past week and even before that. Seeing which way I could manipulate you. I found you easier to steer than a broken mule. Pathetically easy. That was my only design. You spending half the day ranting uselessly against me was just bonus.
Before I address the first quote, allow me to address what you said about me quoting you out of context in previous replies. EVERY quote is out of context, you moron. That is why it’s called a quote! If it wasn’t out of context then it would the entire statement.
Now for the first quote itself, what is this bewailing about unfair flaming tactics? Check out the tourney rules, DOG. Anything goes. I spit upon your treasured perceptions on how to conduct a flame much as you spit upon the prize that awaits us at the end of this tourney. I play to win, baby. If I enter a contest, will do anything and everything in my power to win. If it would help me win I’d break into your house and steal your Amy Grant CDs. I’ll do or say ANYthing to win tourney ring because it’s there to be won. This is not about being perceived as some kind of flamer. If you are considered a flamer than I would never want to belong to your precious club. I could care less what people think about my flaming abilities. Lest of all YOU, o’ sweet GOD. No, this is about winning.
And if I lose a fair contest I’ll take it like a man. I certainly won’t be saying “fuck you” like you did with Stochi, who would have nailed you to the wall had you shown up. Yes, yes, fine you explained that. You were drowning your sorrows with the mind numbing booze all night. That’s fine. My point is that even HAD you showed up she would have beat you like a red headed stepchild. My lust for winning is unquenchable but I also have the personal honor that I’ll accept a loss. And your mock admissions that you’re asshole and a bitch don’t change the fact that you’re also a graceless sore loser.
So no, Twink. I have no respect for you, no respect for your little traditions, and no respect for ruining your perception of this game. And you admitted that you have no respect for ANY of your opponents in this tourney even before it started. Yet another example of you being a universal hypocrite. One side of your mouth: “We must have respect for our opponents, grasshopper.” Other side: “I spit on all of you and I spit on your prize.” Again, pick one. Do you respect us or not? Not, of course. You have to have respect for yourself before you can have any for anyone else.
So I’ve got you worried about this revelation, do I? You certainly obsessed about it enough. Never fear, it is coming. I’m sure you’ve been scanning every memory you can summon from the brain cells you haven’t annihilated with your admittedly frequent drinking binges. What could he have come up with? What has he discovered about me??????????? I’m sure you’ll break your neck to check at the bottom of the hour, won’t you?
Now that I think about it, I’ve gotten you to admit a LOT recently, haven’t I? You admit that I’ve mindfucked you, that you pussed out against Stochi, that you think my MSTie writings are witty, that you admire me ... there are many admissions I’ve maneuvered you into making over the past week and especially today.
I love how you’ve taken the use of one word, DOG, and turned it into this entire image of me in your mind. I say run with it, Redundant Boy. Keep that image of me in your mind and use it whenever you like. I have some more words you can read a lot into. They are the words I think of when I think of you. They are “sweltering,” “scorching,” “blistering,” and “sizzling.” Don’t get excited! I am not talking about your inability to flame. I am talking about how hot your mother’s womb must have been to have fried your brain to the point that what you have said today is the best you can do.
Come on, Twink, if you are going to argue with me, at least don’t contradict yourself in the same reply! Is this a game or not? When you figure it out, let me know. >:-D
PS. Hey Hypocrite, isn't the "copy endless paragraphs of what your opponent says and then responding" a weary flaming technique? Why didn't you just MSTie what I said? You came damned close. Yes, I did it in one instance, but that was the majority of your attacks against me. So talk some more about me using exhausted techniques.
That's
it? LOL.
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SpaceTime
Folks, he's referring to this post:http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/1447/8
In it, I talk about the discrepency in the photograph from the "Pilot" where Quinn seemingly looks as he does now, with Mike Mallory in the photo. However, in "The Guardian," Quinn supposedly looked like Philip van Dyke when Mike Mallory died... thus leading to an apparent inconsistency.
That's your best retort? Explaining the origin of my phrase? And talking about a spin-off BBoard I put up in 1999 so people could have a troll-free board? HHH!
- ST
Escher
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SpaceTime
SL4ever sat on the floor, playing "Hide and Seek" with his T-Square. It was, obviously, hiding between his Olde English panties and his sphincter. The back and forth rocking motion was creating quite a feeling inside SL that was both physical... and emotional.Earlier that day SL had gone to the local architecture supply store to buy some balsa wood only to find they were out. SL was panicked. He had to get back to the BBoard and fire off another pointless barage of comebacks to ST's impenetrable attacks. But what to do? THE MAD FLAVA inside him BECKONED HIM to 5th and Lexington where he could be real with him home bodies, talking PHAT DOZENS on people's Geo Storms. But the fierce rationalist inside 4-EVA knew he had to race back to his computer. Thirty seconds away was too much. He needed to make sure that he was on top... as he was every night with Billy Ray and Otis.
He thought back to the days when life was simple... self-mutilating himself in the mirror, cutting "I LOVE ST" into his chest with his X-Acto knife. Only when he realized that he had cut a mirror image into himself did he cry the torment of the unloved.
In truth, 4-EVA knew the HAPS DOWN AT THE STIZZORE was where he belonged, not pretending to design buildings in the attic of his parent's duplex. He "told" everyone he was an architecture student much in the same way his parents named him Dex after the Dungeons and Dragons attribute Dexterity. He would play in the garden with the hoe, but it was in a way that defies all description.
BRUTHA 4 lived a life of quiet solitude until his posse at the 4-H club told his skinny white ass that he needed to fulfill a useless personal vendetta. And that was when he knowed that he be frontin' against PAPPY S.
Back to the task at hand. INSPIRATION WELLED UP INSIDE 4-EVA... much like the T-Square that was attacking his lower intestine the way Richard Gere "loves" a gerbil.
He typed, furiously. THE DEADLINE WAS HITTING UP CLOSER THAN INFORMANT HITS DANGEROUSLY IRRELEVANT DISCUSSIONS. Would he get it in? Would SL4ever be able to regurgitate every thing he'd already said, thus adding absolutely nothing to the discussion?
OF COURSE 4-EVA DID. And then he sat back and looked at hisself in the mirra and smiled...
Then ThomasMalthus came outta the bathroom with the Ballsy Super Cock attached to his forehead and a tab of acid on his tongue.
ONLY THEN did 4-Eva REALLY smile.
- ST
Off to entertain guests. Have fun with the next 25 minutes, putz.
Begegnen
Sie den Postern!
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SL4ever
Tim Russert: And we’re back to Meet the Posters. With me now are SL4ever and Twinky Diddlepoo. It seems that you two have had heated words over the past couple weeks. One that comes to mind is the exchange you two had when it was first stated that you would oppose each other in the second round of the ToFGaL.SL4: Well, I think that what really came out of that was that Twinky is an obedient little bitch who stopped replying to me in that thread right after I ordered him too.
Twinky: But, but ... you said that if I kept replying that meant you were getting under my skin. I didn’t want you to think you were getting under my skin! You ... you tricked me!
SL4: That’s not very difficult to do, mendicant.
TR: And what do you think of Twinky’s claims that you’re a peon and he is a God?
SL4: Please. He’s about as much of a Flaming God as he is a member of Mensa. He’s not even a Flaming Shoeshine Boy. As for me being a peon, well, he’s getting a lot more of an asswhipping than he bargained for, isn’t he? If he’s taking a beating like this from a peon, what does that say about his position in the food chain?
Twinky: But I AM so a Flaming God! I AM! I AM! Darkslider saaaaaid I was! I accepted the role! I’m also King and Queen! My position in the flaming hierarchy is sky high!
SL4: Your position is the third one from the left on the evolutionary chart. You’re the one right before the one that’s standing up.
Twinky: Sniff. Mr. Russert! This is no fair! I have an opponent who actually wants to fight back this time! Waaah!
TR: But during the last Tourney you whined and complained bitterly that no one ever shows up for your fights! Are you admitting now that you secretly liked it that way? That, like all bullies, you’d rather intimidate your way through life and you usually back down when faced with someone who actually fights back?
Twinky: Um ... okay.
SL4: I think you lost him, Tim. Twink, you were supposed to resist what he was saying, not fold up like a cheap suitcase.
Twinky: Aw, man. I wanna quit. I don’t like having to actually think. I wanna go to sleep now! So I’ll pretend that my four –er – five posts are out of choice and not because I used up my brain power for this week. Goodbye!
SL4 and TR watch Twinky leave.
SL4: So Tim, since he’s gone, what was this about you announcing to the world that Clinton was going to name his dog after your son? God, that must have been embarrassing, huh?
TM: You can leave too.
SL4 <Muttering as he leaves> : I KNOW Twinky is lying about going to bed. He'll be back!
Platz
hat gebrochen.
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SL4ever
Twinky Diddlepoo,So let me get this straight. You’ve won Art Garfunkle –er- Buchwald awards at writing. And you’ve won $10,000 at writing? If that is true, explain this transparent scam:
http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/16759
You are so breathtakingly stupid that you tried to run some pyramid scheme jive past us just 20 days after your infamous RK Weiss hoax! If that doesn’t prove once and for all that your deranged and incredibly retarded, then nothing will. I haven’t mentioned the hoax because it is legend and everyone ... oh, will that commonly understood generic confuse you? Sorry ... MOST people will hate you forever for it. Did you actually think that anyone would be taken in with this stupid shit? Apparently so.
I always knew you were broke. You break down like a shotgun when faced with adversity. And I’ve mentioned once or twice how intellectually broke you are. You are morally broke or else you couldn’t spout all these hypocrisies. Your sense of humor is obviously broken. But it never dawned on me that you’d be financially broke as well!
You couldn’t afford $200? Jesus, where do you work? At FlappyJack’s cleaning the urinals? Even someone making Mc-Minimum wage can squirrel away $200 in a couple weeks or a month. This is a sad development to discover that your career is in such sad shape that you had to come on this same board that you said was nothing and whose posters you have so little regard for and BEG for money like a cheap whore. You sold your soul for $200 and all you got in response was the only four people who bothered to reply telling you to take your opportunity and shove it where you so often like to talk about people shoving things.
So pardon me if I don’t believe that you’re making $10,000 left and right with your writing. Even if I hadn’t read your writing myself, and been able to judge the quality of it for myself, I wouldn’t believe you when I see you making disgraceful posts like this one. If you had made a dime off writing you certainly wouldn’t have to panhandle at discussion boards you admittedly despise.
A few more comments on your replies, as time is pressing on me. It is a well known fact that anyone who refers to himself in the third person is a pretentious phony. It is such a precious part of your personality, so don’t let me discourage you from that.
Is it any surprise to me that you can’t count? You did FIVE posts, moron. Not four.
No, I haven’t borrowed anything from Darkslider. I’ve never read any of this stuff, just as I had not read any of yours before we started. I know it is a function of your egomania that you believe that everyone reads your material, but some of us have lives and only read good fiction and flames. I can’t speak for Darkslider because I haven’t read his stuff, but your writing or flames are not something I would read unless it was in preparation for flaming. So no, I haven’t borrowed from him or anyone else. So leave your egomaniacal fantasies out of this.
And no, I didn’t read the HoF either. I stopped by long enough to notice that you had to nominate your own hideous posts to get in there. But I didn’t stay. I’d rather surf the board.
Well, that covers your replies except for these new ones. I did note that you wasted our time while pretending that it was out of contempt for me but what you really wanted to prove was that you’re a hypocrite since you had just finished bitching about my news updates and other what you called nonflames. Make up your mind, Twinky.
Spielzeug
mit Jungen.
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SL4ever
You admitted that I've been mindfucking you and you STILL fell for the manipulation! All my "dropping the bomb on you" comment was about was another way to manipulate you and make you worry all day about what it was going to be, moron. And you proved by obsessing about it that I hit the target. AGAIN.So no, there is no secret revelation. Rest your panties (I believe you wear a thong like I believe you have a high school degree). I was just fucking with you, Twinky. I hope you didn't worry about it ALL day!
Ein
anderes Ding.
Date: 02/19/2001
From: SL4ever
<Rubs crotch> JUBBLIES on THIS!>:-D
Don't look at me that way, I didn't say infantile humor was completely beneath me! Sometimes we have to fight fire with fire!
Woo
Hoo!!!!
Date: 02/20/2001
From: SL4ever
Now THAT was a fucking flame war!!!! We almost doubled the number of replies of the other two arenas combined! And most of ours were meaty replies too. :-PWell met, SpaceTime. I've really enjoyed this. Whoever wins, the loser went down swinging.
Now it all comes down to whether my checks to the judges cleared or not. :-)
Well
met, sir.
Date: 02/20/2001
From: SpaceTime
Congrats on probably the bloodiest battle on this BBoard in over a year, SL. ;) While the others relegated ALL of their attacks to talking about poop and gay love, we raised the bar and were only 50% mildly retarded chimp.Agreed. You are a worthy opponent. You'll forgive me, however, if I never step foot in one of the buildings you design. :P
Peace,
ST
Pain......
pain..... agonizing pain....
Date: 02/20/2001
From: dellyone
said Spock upon melding with the Horta. Tooooo mannnnnyyy ffffrrrrriiiiiiggggginnnnnggggggggg wooooorrrrrdddddssss!!!!
You both will get my optometrist's bill for making me legally blind. :pFrom all their replies
SL4: 8024 words
ST: 4790 words
SL4's replies according to elingo.com1. Place-time a punk.
2. And a crying bitch.
3 Woo Hoo! Attempt!!
4. Which time is everyone it?
5. Cry baby!!
6. Coward God.
7. Laugh end tone!
8. Good morning treasure!
9. Offend strength.
15. Intelligence committee.
16. This is comprehensible German!
19. Meet the posters!
20. Place has broken.
21. Toy with boys.
22. Another thing.
Awesome display by both contestants. Mindnumbing... hell yeah. Interesting... hell yeah. Funny... oh yeah!!! This one's a hard one to judge. Damn you both. ;-)
Hmmm... why did almost all the contestants mention me by name? Trying to curry favor from this fair maiden? Trying to save me from that awful black knight? Yeah, right. That's not going to happen in my lifetime. Besides, I never got the three dozen red roses, expensive chocolate and that coupon for the $300 French restaurant dinner I always wanted. :p Or was that just potshots at me, a judge? Or do you really really like me? Nah... that can't be it either. Gotta call Mulder and Scully to find the truth about that. Nah, find that black lunged son of a bitch or that damn sexy one armed man in a leather jacket. They know the truth. ;-)
dellyone
Original URL http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/25062
Nominated by Blinker
