Date: 6/25/2000
From: darkslider

Salut,

Normally, I don't address the Bboard as a whole, as I rarely have anything worthwhile to utter to you. I am usually incapable of smalltalk, chit-chat, or revealing of my true nature. Why? Because let's face it, no one cares. I could sit here and tell you of my 3.5 GPA, marvel at my stunningly good looks and other "attributes", but know one could really give a rat's ass. I could also mention the time Matt and I met Jesus at the McDonald's in L.A.....but who cares about all that?!

The matter at hand, my dear audience, is this:

Some of us are getting old.
some of us are getting fat.
Some of us are going insane.

No, not in the literal sense. Not like the phrase "Exec likes to be spanked with licorice by chimps in ballerina outfits. Nope, unlike that literal statement, this one is purely metaphorical.

Some of us are FLAME WARRIORS. We are the ones who live on the blood of battle and thrive in war. We grow strong in battle, and become FAT, LAZY BASTARDS in peace. If peace reins too long, we eventually die in the back of another useless poll on the Professor's BRA SIZE.

We die quietly. Sadly, and without any form of dignity. We die, or we go insane and begin the posting polls of our own, while wearing our underwear on our heads screaming about the CHEESE. "DEAR GOD, the CHEESE!"

So, before this happens, I've got a little something for those of us, who unlike the beautiful Tigs love peace, strive for WAR. I propose a tournament.

A Flame Tournament.

Yep, that's right. I want those of us who crave war to battle each other. WITHOUT MALICE. This is strictly for our practice on the real deal. I want carnage. I want death, and I want FLAMES. Lotsa FLAMES. But remember, there's no REAL animosity. This is purely for sport.

I'm sure that some of you (bastards) are asking "Gee Dark, why the HELL would I do this? There's no POINT in flaming." To you, I say. "SHUT UP YOU GODDAM SISSIES." AND, there's a plus to the tournament. That's right, ol 'dark's gotta little something for you. To the winner, a PRIZE is awarded. What, you ask?

......to that I respond "WHAT'S WITH ALL THE GODDAM QUESTIONS?!". The prize will revealed in good time. But trust me, it's legit.

The way it runs is thus:

Those who post here will be entered in the tournament. I will then take those names and set each poster against another of equivical flaming abilities. The winner, (based on creativity, humorous content, and best use of a YAK)will proceed further, until a winner is deemed above all.

Who's the preciding Judge(s)? Take two guesses. If STILL you don't have an idea, please take that fork out of your ear and STOP READING THIS EXEC, you're TOO DAMN DEGENERATE to function here, or in any place that requires higher than "retarded sunflower seed" intelligence.

SO, without any more jibber jabber, I leave you. More details as I get challengers, but trust me, ALL can apply.

-darkslider

(Brand_S, HunterD, EPT, Diesel, Sabre, Jorge, and others, the gauntlet is thrown. Let's see what you've got.)

You know. . .

Date: 6/25/2000
From: Stoker_chick

. . .you like to forget about us chicks, but pandemoneum beats this "hands across the bboard" shit in any circumstance.

I'm sorry, but girls can be just as competitent as guys in a pissing contest (accept of course in recognizing that whole previously mentioned "hands" across aspect, I'll have to admit to a handicap in machinery for use of that department. But where some have certain advantages, others have alternative means).

I'm not missing this for hell. And don't anyone dare underestimate me. Because I promise, there are much worse things than losing this war, and I can do all of them.

Stoker.

Cheese Poll...

Date: 6/25/2000
From: Vance454

LOL! J/k! :-)

Vance454

vance454 on aol im

Dear Zack!

Date: 6/26/2000
From: Yeontoo

Dear Zack,

Now kitten, Peace is Nice! While we don't need to know the professors fav cheese to keep from going insane, I don't think we readily need war! War means carnage, blood, guts, and such. <<shutter>>

This peaceful board is plumb full of sweet ladies and gentlemen that always behave themselves in a such respectable manner. They never ever feel the need to start or participate in flame wars and such like, even if there is no malice involved. (as if there was such a thing)

Bad words, once spoken, can never be withdrawn or taken back (yes, forgive and forget is *possible* too), and you are asking the wonderful and beautiful people of this little board to exercise their genius minds in the not-so-nice? I declare! Where would it all end?

We cannot partake of such! If the amazing citizens of this very calm, cooperative, sweet, and gentle board allow such as this to take place....

...
...
...

Oh Wait! This is the dominion... carry on.

LOL
Blessings,
Yeontoo

I want to "Enter The Dragon"

Date: 6/26/2000
From: Fish_Bone

God knows this board is starting to get boring.

However, what about YOU? We all know you hold the Championship Belt!

PS. Tell me about the time you and Matt met Jesus.

Fish Bone
><)))'>

YOU WORTHLESS

Date: 6/26/2000
From: Twizzler

ITS NO CONTEST I WILL DESTROY YOU

FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST WILL YOU JUST FUCKING REALIZE ITS OVER AND GO JACK YOUR TURTLE OFF?!

Twizzler

I'm in...

Date: 6/26/2000
From: RMScream

Hey, I'm handing in my entry from for this contest. Although I suck at flaming, I'll give it a shot for the chance of acquiring that all-mighty Prize! This is going to be fun!

Oh man!

Date: 6/26/2000
From: Brand_S

I really had to think about this...

Yeah, put my damn name down! I'd be disappointing all the folks here if I didn't do this!

Now, off to watch the Quick and the Dead for some technique practice. Who do y'all think I should look to for inspiration? Ellen, Cort, the Kid, Herod, Eugene Dred, Cantrell, Scars, Spotted Horse, Dog Kelly, Virgil Sparks, Ace Hanlon, Gutzon, Foy, or (God help me) Ratsy?

S

Count me in

Date: 6/26/2000
From: dellyone

I'd like to enter. Add me to your list of warriors

dellyone

Light my fire.

Date: 6/26/2000
From: JorgeCis

Oh, why not?

It's for fun, after all! :-)

Okay, I'm not very good at this, but for the interests of sports entertainment, I'm in.

Let's get it on!

 

Jorge

I haven't posted here for a while but...

Date: 6/26/2000
From: Nobuyuki

Eh, what the hell, why not?

Sure, why not. . .

Date: 6/26/2000
From: TimeFluxEMC2

I've quite a bit of practise at this sort of thing. AOL chatroom idiots are so easy (and fun) to mess with. I suspect that this will be much harder though (but just as fun).

-TimeFlux
"Time is now fluctuating, have a nice day."
http://clik.to/TimeFlux

Hey, if delly can, why not Klly?

Date: 6/26/2000
From: KllyWlls

I'll try anything once.......no nevermind...not anything.

I'll never...uh...er...sky dive.

-Klly

I'm Game

Date: 6/26/2000
From: CoolSlider

Count me in...

CoolSlider

I'm OUT as judge, IN as combatant.

Date: 6/26/2000
From: SpaceTime

Screw judging. I'm gonna kick ALL your asses.

Now, if only the other Elders would step out of their Snork Underoos and throw on their battle gear... you know who I'm talking about.

- ST

I'm in! Plus a test.

Date: 6/26/2000
From: SingularVisions

I'd love to participate. Finally a chance to get some practice in.

Do to me what you will you intellectually impoverished knaves!!!! You ignorant babies don't have the balls to take me on!!! Disgusting perverted hobbits...y'all would be better off in the sewers fucking the Ninja Turtles!!

Hmmm...how's that?

 

- SingularVisions

I'll have to be an observer...

Date: 6/26/2000
From: capaqu

I'm online only part-time for awhile (working on fixing that), so I'd probably get squashed simply by default!

Have fun!

I'll be gone next week, but

Date: 6/26/2000
From: Slider_Quinn21

if that doesn't count me out....count me in....

Will I regret this?
Quinn

I'll do it.

Date: 6/26/2000
From: Prime2099

Although it's pointless. Hehe

You rang?

Date: 6/27/2000
From: DieselMickeyDolenz

I've never flamed anyone in my life.....

 

 

 

but you gotta start sometime!

Diesel
Mickey
Dolenz

Hand me the trophy you gutless wonder

Date: 6/27/2000
From: RandomsEdge

Go ahead and save yourselves the pain and humiliation of loosing. Send me the prize. The gauntlett is mine.

Ha Ha! My dear sweet goddess Yeontoo,we know you are not so nice. Take me on baby! I don't believe my stupid twin or his girlfriend, nor any of these other born losers, will dare take me on.

Private email please.

Original URL http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/21643
Nominated by darkslider