The Way It Wuz, The Musical: Act II

Date: 11/12/1999
From: Blinker

(Countless apologies for the delay. It seems I’ve lapsed into the ol’ once-a-week schedule. In any case, our melodramatic revue must go on... Sap Alert still in effect!!)

ACT I (required reading): http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/14422

TWIW, THE MUSICAL
=====
ACT II: THE WAY IT HAZ BEEN

The men (minus Colin) stood in the main board’s allocated area. The rest occupied a space that symbolized the JOC board. The enigmatic Master of Ceremonies, Bennish, sat alone in the audience munching corn nuts.

“Uhh, is it just me... or is it almost sleepytime?” Colin spoke up.

“It ain’t your imagination, dude,” Bennish confirmed grimly. “After being rent in twain, the ol' board kept getting darker and darker. Of course, this isn’t a real place, so we’re free to represent it metaphorically.”

Arturo frowned. “Not a real place?”

“Well no, dude. We exist outside the cycles o’ space-time. We just show up now and then to put on this li’l show. Like, I’m not *really* Bennish or anything.”

Diana frantically calibrated her PDL. “It’s true,” she blurted. “This room... doesn’t actually exist.”

Mallory snorted. “That’s nice to know.”

“Anyway, back to the story. See, everyone forgot where they’d come from. All the, the laughter and fun they’d shared on the old board was a, a dusty relic of the past, and the women started recalling the place as some kinda endless war zone. Of course, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.” A grimace crossed the emcee’s face.

***

[Lights fade out on all but the JOC board. The performers move slowly yet erratically in interlocking circles, hands clutched to their heads.]

- WADE -
It’s a funny thing how time flies,
A hundred pages go by so fast

- COLIN -
Whatever happened to NYCFAN?

- WOMEN -
Refresh us on the paaast...

[Lights fade on JOC board and rise on main board]

- MALLORY -
Remember that jerk MagnaFlux?
Or maybe it was Son...

- ARTURO -
Remember TF’s theories on--
Or was it TF O-o-o-ne...

[All lights rise]

- ALL -
Writer, poet, BFA,
Was that me or was that you?
Lurker, joker, ABL,
We haven’t got a clu-u-ue.

[All lights fade; spot on Quinn. The music shifts tempo and reprises “Go Beyond” from Act I.]

- QUINN -
I’ll go-o-o, beyond this life of waste
I’ll o-o-o, vercome this bitter taste
Go beyo-o-o-o-o-o-ond...
I
Want
Mo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ore.

***

No sooner had the last note faded than Rembrandt was stepping off the stage. “Look, man-- now I think you owe us some answers.”

“Like?”

Not the response he’d expected. “Like... if this place isn’t ‘real,’ how are we going to slide outta here in 20 minutes?”

Bennish shrugged. “It’s all taken care of. C’mon, we’re wastin’ time.”

The singer sighed and obediently returned to his post.

“‘Kay, well like, a month or two after the split, the main board had its darkest time to date. ‘The Unstuck Man’ premiered, and suddenly the place was *flooded* with, like *evil* newbies saying the show sucked.”

Diana’s interest was piqued. “Unstuck? You mean like Geiger was?”

“And Colin, until Logan reanchored him?” Wade added.

Bennish cleared his throat, and the phantom piano player began an up-tempo jig...

***

- ALL (now playing troublesome newbies, stumbling around in chaos) -
We have been living in a dream
(We have been living in a dream!)
It’s time to wake up, and truly see...
Our lives have been so empty, until no-o-ow!

But Peck will come and free-ee us...
Peck will relea-ease us,
It all makes senseless sense to us,
Somehow.

Who is this dork who bears Quinn’s name?
(Who is this dork who bears Quinn’s name?)
In this worse premiere than “Rules of the Game”...
That acting and those sets are far, too
La-a-a-ame.

For too long, our show has cheated death
The sweet relief, of a final ep
Sweet relief,
Sweet relie-ie-ie-ie-ief...

Can-
Cel
Now.

***

As the force providing the music released its tendrils, the others turned to face a wide-eyed, panting Diana. This time she was flustered by something more immediate than an ontological quandary.

“What... *were* those?” She swallowed and ran a shaking hand through her hair. “One of them touched me.”

Arturo added his support. “I saw them as well. Ghostly figures, each dressed in either white or black.” He paused to recall: “It was the strangest thing... some of the black ones seemed to be... ‘solidifying.’”

“Those were lurkers, man. The ghosts that walk the board, without sayin’ a thing. The white ones are the good people with something to contribute, an’ the black ones are the morons. But it’s an exponential thing, see? The more good stuff you got, the more it builds on itself...”

“United we stand, divided we... don’t,” Quinn murmured.

Arturo inhaled and tried to formulate his thoughts. “I, ah... I think I’m starting to understand what this is all about. These people we’re portraying... they watch some sort of television program based on our adventures, yes? And these ‘Boards’ are places where they congregate to discuss it?”

Bennish popped another morsel, allowing the echos of his crunching to fill the hall. “Right on, Prof-dude.”

Mallory was more interested in the next chapter. “What happened to the show? Did everyone stop watchin’ or something?”

“Actually, the previous year was, like, a load of radioactive horse dung. Season Five rocked in extremis.”

A pause.

“Ratings were fine, it even stayed the second-highest show on the network for *weeks*.”

Maggie mentioned Executive’s handle, just to see if he is reading this, even though he proudly claims to have "always" avoided my writings, even though at http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/8636/11 he claimed to have enjoyed the stuff that didn’t mention him. Whoops!

Bennish shrugged. “But, the netwits canned it anyway.”

***

- ARTURO -
What has this network,
Brought on our heads?
What kind of horrors,
What kind, of awful dreads?

- QUINN, MALLORY, REMMY -
They’ve cancelled the show
And they’ve torn down the wall:
These newbies will bring
Certain doom to us all...

- MALLORY -
We’ve told them a thousand times
JOC’s second-tier,
Floyd’s so much better...
Why won’t they hear?

- MEN -
Where should we go for help,
Whom do we trust...
To request the aid of
The JOC board, we mu-u-u-u-u-u-ust.

***

Quinn paused... looked around uncertainly... and decided to see if his newfound powers of vocal control could be applied independently.

“IIIiiiiIIIIIIiiiiIIII'VE GOOoooooOOOoot TEEEEEEAAAAARS... in, my FRO-O-O. Fro-HUM LOOOOOO-VING YOU-OU SO-O-O-O-O...”

Judging from his companions' reactions, and the shards of glass littering the floor, they couldn't. Only the entity representing itself as Bennish could claim ownership of two functional (if illusory) eardrums.

“So. Uh, the cancellation and the newbies provided a common enemy, right? The two boards reunited to combat the ‘red menace?’” Quinn did his best to look nonchalant, and fixed Bennish with a level stare.

The image of his classmate avoided eye contact. “Huh. Just keep the tunes coming.”

***

- QUINN (standing inspiringly before the women) -
We are the Sliders boards,
And we once were great.
And I now say to you
It is not too late.

We, may fail but we must fight
Let, us struggle day and night
For why should we lay down,
And accept this fate?

- WOMEN -
You will not join with us,
So you’re go-ing to die.
We’ll only fight a death,
If it comes from Sci-Fi.

- QUINN -
Let us act this very night,
Turn the tide from dark to light,

- WOMEN -
You are the Sliders board,
And you’re waiting to die.

- WADE -
Why should we not help the-e-em,
If their cause is just?
These men are still our friends,
And in us they trust.

- MAGGIE -
She is right, I see it now
Both of you, deserve a bow
This Wednesday we will fight,
So the main board won’t diiiiie...

- ALL -
We are the Sliders boards,
And for life
We’ll
Vi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ie.

***

The set was darker than ever before. Around two dozen Black Phantoms had solidified completely and were scattered around the right side of the stage. And yet, hope painted a smile on Wade’s face.

“This is great! We’re all going to save the board now, right?”

Bennish finally looked up. “Wait for it.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Conclusion... later. 7:-/

- Blinker 7:’-|
http://welcome.to/gate_haven

Original URL http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/2326/14749
Nominated by Blinker