The Way It Wuz®: Mar11/2000

Date: 03/12/2000
From: Blinker

"Hi, I'm Bill Nye. Did you know that every last bathroom tile is made up of millions of tiny bathrooms? It's true! And here on the BATHROOM-CAM OF SCIENCE, we can observe one of the micro-tiles at the *next* level of existence making use of such a bathroom. Hey there, little fella!"

<Micro-tile gives Bill Nye the finger>

"We interrupt 'Bill Nye, the Pseudo-Science Guy' to join 'The Way It Wuz,' already in progress."

...with a bunch of his Sliders friends:

BBOARD, ROLL CALL!

v5000 -- "SEX!!!"
CoolSlider -- "At the beach!"
1013shan -- "It was subtle!"
BinarySystemssssssssssssssss -- "Man, that's freaky!"

You're wondering how his second sight,
Could be caused by heart attacks -- (lalalala)
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
...Written by, uncariiing hacks -- "

But now here's, TWIW Saturday, 2000...

- THE MAGICIAN -
The reviews are now in, of COC's film 'Death By Magic!'
Seems it WOULD be okay...
With the SCRIPT tossed away!
That it wasn't is no less than tragic!

- THE SNIFFLY -
FogBoy informed us she's gone...
The sweet, caring, kind V1 Willow.
In her place? Some evil subtext-laden witch.
'Scuse me while I cry on my pillow!

[HONKKKKKKKKK]

- THE OUT-ON-PAROLE -
Seems Captain Jackass has mended his ways!
Oh no, my bad, that's just S...
Still, it's nice to see the ol' nick used for good...
So a hearty 'huzzah' nonetheless!

- THE SOX -
How much footwear can there BE on one board??
A mobster, an actor, a pit and a Cajun?
Batten the hatches, we're under attack...
It's an all-out Stage Four Sock Invasion!!

- THE BYRDS -

So you wanna be a Season Four star?
Well listen now, to what I have to say --
Stay out all night getting sloshed in cheap bars,
Then show up hung-over, every single day...

And if they won't meet your demands,
You can quit the show, and to hell with fans.
Toss that Sci-Fi schlock away,
It won't look as good on your resumé.

JOC (spoken): "If, uh, they'd started doing the kinds of throught-provoking stories I was finding in these movie scripts, I, uh, would've stuck around. You know, like, talking roach world, or life on Mars world."

So your movies are all going down fast,
M2M was the last, here's what the critics had to say:
"The film's a cheesy pile of bad dialogue,
acting that's waterlogged, and turgid clichés."

Tiiiime, to go crawling back --
To the Sliders fans; see how they react.
Whoops, just made a few more demands,
Better blame the budget and wash your hands...

JOC (spoken): "I had a script in mind where a talking roach follows the guys through the vortex. There's a scene where Quinn calls out, 'You'll have to come back later! We're fighting a fire in here!' And, uh, it was good. They never bought it, but, uh, wow, my career sure did."

- Blinker 7:-P
http://welcome.to/gate_haven

STINGER: "Oh, the inhumanity!!" -- Executive, quoting the New York Times review of his fanfic, CRISIS.

Original URL http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/2326/18571
Nominated by Blinker