The Way It Wafflez, April, 700, QB3

Date: 04/07/2000
From: Blinker120

To recap: Our poet laurie ate, Blinkler, is escaped by the statellite of twiw, and quantum blinked into other Bboard persons. acting as his double, dalin tells him he looks nice, and they have sex with some kellogs cerele for breakfast. Menewhile, cinthia the computer thang is gotten the ppl who blinked into the statellite to do the twiws, and sop the statellite, from sploding.

-- theme song --

In posts, like of deleted ones,
there's a dorky guy, in 98 a.d.,
and cleening this post, he took up space,
but rick man an laura, having sex, eat Shawn connery.

"Get me down!² quin said.

we'll send him all these nude posts,
That having, pancakes find.
he admits, hes never rymed waffles before, so he agrees to ryme them,
And saving, chatt with sliders-friends,
She has sex with mutant ribs, in the bathtub, and its good.

Bboard role call!

HurriKain -- "oh ok :-)"
SouthernSlider -- "El Sid?!! Yyyyyyuuuuuucccccckkkkkk!!!!!"
Twizzler -- "Make sweet love to me."
Eustiiiiiiiiiiiiiii -- "And the hat of the ABL shalt be the Doo Rag. Members of the ABL shalt not bear Loosely Tied Sweatshirts, save that these be directly proceeding unto Doo Rags. Berets are RIGHT OUT."

if yore wondering, how he sleeps in mud,
and sending a signence fax,
just repete to yorself "i should crossed my fingers
and typeing relly fast!

on the way it was, april, seventh, of 2000.

- host smegment -

SYNTHIA: Computer? Access "Time" database, subsection "Current," authorization "Chronos 47-J."

COMPUTER [which also possesses Synthia's voice]: Working.

SYNTHIA: Output data via primary speaker.

COMPUTER: That function not available, as no "Sound Blaster" card is installed.

SYNTHIA: Dammit, I *knew* they should've sprung for the Mac version...

SLIDER120: Hey, awaking, I am, and I was wondering, if you will know, where I'm being. Oh, and going to the bathroom, i believe i will try the coffee.

SYNTHIA: Great... now he's blinked into someone with a congenital *grammar* deficiency. Look, I'm trying to find out what time it is so I can tell if it's necessary to subject the Board population to your degenerate ramblings... hold still, will ya?

SLIDER120: I think, appering on the statellite, that I hurt my ribs, and you kind of told me to shut up, which i am.

SYNTHIA: Yeah. Cool. [mumbling] Great... gonna hafta subject mySELF to HER again. [raises voice] Computer... skalize Synthia II.

SYNTHIA II [phases in]: Please state the nature of your intellectual deficiency.

SYNTHIA [grates teeth]: Look. *ALL* I need to know is what time it is... if it's almost 12:00 I'll have to get the next batch of posts riffed. Can we *please* get this over with?

SYNTHIA II: Ennh, no Sound Blaster card... could always play Charades though...

SYNTHIA [rolling eyes]: Lead on.

[ Her nemesis makes various obscure gestures. ]

SLIDER120: Third word...

SYNTHIA: Sounds like...

[ Synth2 strikes the air several times. ]

SLIDER120: Knock.

SYNTHIA: Flock? Mock? Grok?

SLIDER120: Locke, JOC?

SYNTHIA: Clock!!!

[ S2 taps nose to indicate correct answer. ]

SLIDER120: I always said, that girls woodn't give me the time of day, but this wasnt, really, what i ment.

SYNTHIA: I think I'm going into a *comma*...

SLIDER120: Second, word.

[ An "O" shape with the fingers of the right hand ]

SYNTHIA: O.

SLIDER120: First word...

[ A vastly complex one-woman drama proceeds to unfold at centre stage. ]

SYNTHIA: It looks like she's entering a time machine...

SLIDER120: And having, a confinement of a mentel intstitution, it was Bruce Willice, having sex with his own ribs, and no ones slept with their own ribs in, i say at least 45 years.

SYNTHIA: Didn't I see this in a movie once?

SLIDER120: Oh yes, remembering, it was calld "McHenry" I thought. Or maybe, "Ignorant," or "12 Monkees," and then all of america, and even attacked there own county Spane, and now in the late 90s here we are.

SYNTHIA [triumphantly putting it all together]: Twelve, O, Clock!!!

[ A long, long silence. ]

SYNTHIA: D'OH!!!!!

[ She grudgingly hands '120 the captain's pencil and paper... ]

- the argumentational thing -
info, and sarah, and hunter, and realslider, and stoker, and
some other peoples were doing a fight.
and, asking me, i dont know who,
but, some of them is prolly right.

- the bad, nasty spam -
i am scifi, well im not, but i guess he is,
But anyway, him and these guys,
tryed to have the furst post,
and insted, they wasted posts,
and thats spam.

- the pole -
sl4ever, asked evryone, whose a righter,
about there charectors and stuff.
and peplele said, answering,
although the questions were reale tough,
what they knew, and im done now, so thats enough.

SYNTHIA II: Well, so long, stinkers... always nice to know I'm needed. [phases out]

SLIDER120 [checking watch]: Oh look, its twelve o'three, acording to my watch, and had roger moore on it, playing shawn connery in the first two george la-z-boy movies, so i really must be gone. :) Slider120

[ A longer, longer pause. ]

SYNTHIA: AAAAAAARRRRRRRRR [BLEEP] RRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

- Blinker 7:-P
http://welcome.to/gate_haven

BFA TOWEL PROPAGANDA REVEALED!!!!!!!!! -- http://www.absurdgallery.com/feel.html -- THE HORROR!!!!!!!!

Original URL http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/2326/19621
Nominated by Blinker