TWIWTA (4-17 thru 19) !!

Date: 04/20/2001
From: SL4ever

SL4: Come on in, want a drink?

TIP: Considering how you feel about me, I’d better not accept anything from you.

SL4: That’s probably wise. I called you here to tell you that I admire the way you are.

TIP: Um, what do you mean? You’ve called me the most annoying bastard on the planet numerous times.

SL4: Oh, you are! But that’s kinda my point. I’ve been hammering you like a stubborn nail for a year now and you’ve never gotten pissed off. You’ve been a very good sport.

TIP: So what’s the punchline?

SL4: No punchline. I’m just taking a second to tell you that I like how you’re a good sport. There are so many thin skinned people in this world that it’s refreshing to see someone who doesn’t take themselves so seriously.

TIP: Are you coming on to me?

SL4: Good heavens! >:-# NO! I’m just trying to say-.

TIP: You don’t even know what gender I am! In Slideageddon you originally wrote me as a male, then changed that to female, which lead to the typo I commented on.

SL4: You’ve got the wrong idea!

TIP: Well, this is very sweet of you. Wanna hug?

SL4: We are NOT “having a moment” here! I still think you’re an annoying bastard!

PFKAS <from doorway> : GET A ROOM, YOU TWO!!!



The Way it Wuz ... Talked About!

SL4: Hello again everybody! I’m your fabulous host, SL4ever! And this is The Way it Wuz Talked About, no one reads this anymore, do they? They think that I say the same shit in here every time, don’t they? I’ll bet that I can hide the word motherfucker in the middle of this and no one will notice!!! But first, these messages!

“Man #1: Aw man! Look at that!

Man#2: That woman’s got a big ole butt! Woo Hoo!

M1: What has she got?

M2: Baby’s got a big ole butt! :-P~~~~~~~~~~

M1: I can’t hear you! What has she got?

M2: She’s got a BIG OLE BUTT!

M1: SHE’S A BIG BUTTED WOMAN! WOO HOO!!! GOD LOVES A BIG BUTTED WOMAN! CAN I GET AN ‘AMEN’ BROTHERS AND SISTERS???

<Crowd of men> : AMEN!!! :-P~~~~~~~~~~

Woman <walking away> : Heh heh heh.

<later>

M1: Eeeeew! Look at THAT woman.

M2: Her butt’s flatter than Montana! Calista Flockhart has more butt than she does!

M1: Jesus, I need a drink. Let’s go.

Woman <walking away> : I wish I had a big ole butt. Sniff.

Announcer: Are you tired of not having a Big Ole Butt? Get with the program, ladies! The Skeletor look is gone the way of pin striped suits and amusing sitcoms! Big Ole Butts are in! We’re talking butts so big that it looks like two teenage lions are wrestling in your pants when you walk!

M2: We’re talking about BIG OLE BUTTS!

M1: CAN I GET AN AMEN, BROTHERS AND SISTERS!

<Crowd of men> : AMEN!!

Announcer: Call us with your credit card ready and we’ll ship you a crate of Ass Faster chocolate lotion! Just three applications a day, and before you know it, your butt will be bigger than Rush Limbaugh’s mouth! We have a patented formula that will make your butt grow faster than any other lotion on the market! We promise you a big ole butt, and FAST! Call us today, start getting dates by next week! Big ole butts are IN, girls! Call now!!!

M1: Dude! Look at HER!!

M2: Baby’s got a ***BIG*** OLE BUTT!!! WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO. RUFF RUFF!!!

M1: YES!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

<crowd of men> : RUFF RUFF!!!!

Woman <walking away> : Heh heh. Thank you, Ass Faster!”


SL4: We’re back, and let’s meet our panel. First, The Duck Man himself, Charlie O’Connell!!

SouthernSlider: WOO HOO!! Charlie!

COC: That woman right there scares me. Is there security between the crowd and us?

SL4: Next up we have the Slut Goddess, Kari Wuher!!!

Crowd: HEY! SHE WAS ON THE LAST TWO TIMES!!!!

SL4: Sorry, but Madonna canceled at the last second, and we were short one tramp.

One person in the back of the crowd: Throw me your toothbrush!!!

Kari Wuher: You think YOU’RE scared, Charlie?

SL4: Our third guest is the 5th season executive producer, Bill Dial!!

Crowd: Do we hate him?

Temporalflux: All things considered, nah.

Crowd: You’re lucky, punk.

SL4: And finally, the current winner of our random post contest, Recall317!!!!

Rec: Glad to be here! :-D

Crowd: What’s happening, Rec?!!

SL4: Okay. Let’s take the week starting with 4-17 first. And why wouldn’t we, it’s the first day under review! Heh heh heh.

Crowd: <stony silence>

SL4: Ooooookay, lame jokes aside! Rec, what posts stick in your mind from 4-17?

Rec: I liked Tigs handle post. It was cool seeing who everyone is.

BD: I don’t understand why anyone would need more than one handle. Things would be a lot simpler if people would just stick to one smegging handle!

SL4: Well, I think there are three different reasons to have more than one handle. Right now, the most predominant reason is for comedy purposes. Using a different handle can be funny under certain circumstances. And as long as they don’t turn on you, having a couple “joke handles” adds flavor to the board.

PFKAS <from backstage> : HEY SL4EVER!!! I JUST ATE THE LAST CHERRY pie, IS THAT OKAY???

SL4 <sighing> : It’s not pretty if you keep them locked away too long and they start hating you, though. Anyway, the second reason to have extra handles is to differentiate between types of posts. Sliders related posts might be all under one handle, posts on other topics might be under a different handle. Delly and DMD are the best known practitioners of this. The third reason to have different handles if when gutless weasels want to flame but don’t want to hurt the reputation of their main handle.

KW: Okay, okay, Jesus! If we want to be bored by long sermons we’ll have the Professor on here! Let’s talk about me!

COC: You’re a tramp.

KW: That’s better! :-P Oh, and nice job with “Dude, where’s the car?” That movie’s bound to get some Oscar nominations!

COC: Yeah, I know. “Kate’s Addiction” really racked up the Oscars too, didn’t it? :-D

SL4: Oh, love is in the air tonight! :-P So, Kari, what posts did you like or hate?

KW: I liked hearing from SpaceTime about Charlie’s brother striking out with Debbie Gibson! Jesus, when you can’t get into the door of a pop star whose 15 minutes were up back in 1989, you really are the biggest loser on the planet!

COC: What are you talking about? Debbie Gibson has released 9 albums, including two that went triple platinum and one that went gold. She has 11 singles that made the Billboard chart, including five that reached the top 5, and two that got all the way to #1! In fact, she has a new album out this year, entitled “M.Y.O.B.” which is why she was on the Howard Stern show in the first place! And besides all that, she is gorgeous!

BD: Dude, you know entirely too much about Debbie Gibson.

COC <sheepish grin> : Oh, well, I ... just made all that up. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Rec: Speaking of Jerry, Vortex62 posted the transcript of his chat and then Qball79 tore his >:-# UP in his reply!

SL4: I know! I was ROTF!! You can always get me by ragging on Jerry, but Qball was especially good.

COC: Hey! I’m telling Jerry you all are being mean about him!

BD: Speaking of Jerry, I also loved Blinker’s Jerry Horoscope post! I was dying laughing!

SL4: Hee hee. “You want to be the sheep with the pink wool.”

Rec: Oh yeah! That was a killer post!

COC: I hate all four of you.

KW: What do you mean? I didn’t say anything about that work of art post yet!

COC: I already hated YOU.

SL4: On THAT note, let’s take a commercial break.


“Are you tired of limp comedies? Was ‘Me, Myself, and Irene’ too tame for you? Do you just KNOW that ‘Freddy Got Fingered’ isn’t going to be nasty enough for your subcultured tastes? Do you want something that takes you places no movie has EVER taken you before???

Get ready to experience the grossest, nasiest movie ever made!

Starring:

Tom Green! “Where’s the cow? Nah! Make it an owl this time!”
Adam Sandler! “Pull my finger! Yuck! Yuck!!”
David Spade! “I’m so annoying even my best friends are sticking a stun gun up my >:-#”

And introducing:
Cricket Boy!! “Chirp, chirp.”

Returning for one last movie:
Chris Farley! “They had to dig me up for this one!”

Written by:
Stephen King, Bobby Farrelly, and Peter Farrelly!! “If we can’t gross you out, what the >:-# is the point?”

So get ready to experience the grossest "comedy" ever assembled! You’ll laugh your >:-# off!!! When you’re not filling the complimentary barf bags!!!

See 'Mr. Filthy McNasty Goes to the Bathroom!'

In theaters everywhere on May 10th!”


SL4: And we’re back. So what posts did you like or not like on 4-18, Slider120’s birthday, Bill?

BD: Well, first Blinker copying his handle in replying to Eustislider’s Slider120 birthday post was confusing. Why didn’t Blinker just reply with his own handle?

KW: It was done as a joke, you moron!

Crowd: Gasp! When you’re called a moron by HER ...

BD: Anyway, Fogboy was amusing when he talked about poking Cinescape with a stick. And he raised a valid point with it being dead, AND the board being slow as dried molasses.

SL4: The slowness of the board has been a recurring theme lately. I think a lot of people are getting fed up with it. It might have something to do with why the board is so slow today (Friday).

KW: Well, that and the fact that most people are scamming a way to leave work early so they aren’t surfing the net at work, and then they go out on Friday night.

SL4: People go out on Friday night?

COC: I liked Recall317’s chain reaction post. It was fun to think of all the theme marathons we could have with Sliders.

Rec: :-D

COC: That was YOUR post? I wasn’t paying attention when we were introduced.

SL4: I liked that post too. Another theme could be a movie ripoff marathon, or a worst eps marathon. Those would both be easy to fill.

Rec: My moist excellent post aside, I liked seeing Donner back. That was cool.

COC: Well, I liked MY post. I like rumors anyway. Have you heard the one about John Walsh caught on tape screwing around on his wife? Apparently HE is most wanted now! :-D

ColinMallory <from crowd> : Hey! That was MY post! Not yours! <gets up and walks back and forth> See? No duck! When you walk, there is a LOT of duck!!

SL4: Well, alrighty then. Moving on to our last day, 4-19, we HAVE to start with the very amusing IHK post featuring the theatrical trailer! I was rolling in the movie aisle!

Rec: That WAS very funny.

COC: THAT’S IT! Listen to me very carefully! I. DO. NOT. WALK. NOR. RUN. LIKE. A. DUCK. Is that clear?

SL4: Crystal.

KW: <indistinguishable sound>

COC: What was that?

KW: Nothing.

COC: WHAT DID YOU SAY????

KW: I didn’t SAY anything. :-*

COC: You quacked like a duck, didn’t you?

KW: :-D

Rec: Anyway, I finally won one of Delly’s NTSS poems!!! WOO HOO!!!

BD: That was a very good edition. I love this series.

Bennish <from crowd> : If I can’t escape, then neither can YOU!!!!!!

KW: I also liked Callie21V’s post about misinformation.

SL4: I KNOW! It was pretty shocking to see the utter bull >:-# they were saying was going to happen now that we’ve seen the entire season. Back then I’m sure it was exciting to read that, but now it’s just amusing.

BD: Well, I personally don’t know anyone who is waking up in the morning thinking “I wonder what ‘TV Guide’ is saying about my favorite series.” Jesus are they OVER! That magazine has been over for about ten years! “Entertainment Weekly” is what is happening these days.

KW: I agree. Anyone still reading “TV Guide” probably also still has a “Reader’s Digest” subscription!

COC: Who are YOU to be talking about reading? The last thing you read was your recent arrest warrant for Public Stupidity.

SL4: Oh, you two lovebirds! You’ll be married in a year!

COC: Dream on.

KW: I don’t know, you can hate someone and still marry them, ask Hilary.

SL4: Well, unfortunately, we’re out of time! Join us next time when some cool people and whoever writes the next post after this one will be our guests! Goodnight everybody!

Rec: HEY! What about hyping my new story, "The Double You Know" ???

SL4: I'm sorry, we can't do it, we're outta time!

Rec: We just did it when I mentioned it!

SL4: D'oh!

“The Way it Wuz Talked About is brought to you by the Dominion! If it takes longer to load one of our pages than to eat a 17 course meal, EAT SLOWER!! By Eric Clapton’s new CD “Reptile” !! Proving once again that white men should stay the >:-# away from playing the blues!!! And by Slappy the Adult Clown!! Have you dreamed of good clean adult clown fun? Slappy is your dream come true!!”




“Are you coming on to me?”

Original URL http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/2326/25595
Nominated by Blinker