TWIWTA (4-24 thru 27) !!

Date: 04/28/2001
From: SL4ever

>>>For the links to old eps of TWIWTA, among a million other funny/interesting things, go here: http://slidersweb.net/blinker/ <<<<<


SL4ever: Hello?

BTP #1: We’re the Billboard Tedious Police. We were on patrol nearby and we got a call that something tedious is going on in here.

SL4: Oh man, am I glad you’re here! PFKAS is singing the entire “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” song. Short of murder I don’t know how to stop him!

BTP #1: This is a very serious infraction.

BTP #2 <draws asp> : Step aside. We’ll beat him to the fullest extent of the law.

SL4: A Police Chief Wiggum disciple, I see. Moist excellent.

PFKAS: 57 bottles of beer on the wall, take one dowwwwwwwwwwwwwwn, pass it around, 56 bottles of beer on the ... hey! Who are you? Ow! Ow! Don’t hit me there, I have a date tonight!

Dexibal_Lector: Yesssssss. Tenderize him. :-P~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The Way it Wuz ... Talked About!

SL4: Hello again everybody! I’m your fabulous host, SL4ever! And this is The Way it Wuz Talked About, that show okay, maybe two people read this but no one else does! So that means that only two of you would know that boiled bunnies make the best cream sauce! The rest of you will have to remain an exciting panel!!! But first, these messages!


“Woman: Hi honey. How was work today?

Man: It was okay. How about your work?

Woman: Work was fine, but when I got home you wouldn’t believe what I caught our son writing! He’s been confined to his room! I told him you’d have a talk with him.

<Man enters son’s room, glances at his son’s desk, and picks up a sheet of paper>

‘Start trouble, spread pain,
Piss and venom, in your veins.

Talk nasty, breath fire,
Smell rotten, you’re a liar.

Sweat liquor, breath snot,
Eat garbage, spit rot.

Greasy face, teeth decay,
Hair matted, drink all day.

Steal money, crash cars,
Rob jewelry, hock guitars.

Rot in hell, it’s time you know,
To your master, off you go!’

Man: Well! <clears throat> Son, what do you have to say about this?

Woman <From doorway> : Not that! He’s already got Godsmack and Eminem interested in buying that song! No, I’m talking about this!

<Man takes sheet of paper>

‘Dear Kari,

I love you! “Shiny” was one of the most magical CDs I’ve ever heard! I want to spread hot butter all over your-.’

Man: SON!!! What is wrong with you? Have you lost your >:-#-ing mind??? Kari Wuher? Don’t you have any taste? I’d rather you write a fan letter to Stephanie Zimbalist!

Woman: Don’t get carried away, now.

Man: Sorry, the momentum carried me across the line. Anyway, son, you’re grounded until your next birthday!


Announcer: Please, parents, it’s a dangerous world. Monitor your kid’s activities closely!

Paid for by the Coalition for Responsible Parenting.”


SL4: We’re back, and let’s meet our panel. First, the creator of Sliders and the only sane executive to work on it, Tracy Torme!

Crowd: WOO HOO!!!! If not for you, sir Tracy, most of us wouldn’t even know each other!

TIP: And God bless him for that!

Crowd <glaring at TIP> : Well, some of us would be happier if we didn’t know each other!

SL4: Next up we have the actress who played the most overhyped SF character since Boba Fett, Zoe McLellan!!!

ZM: Oooo, so bitter! Fortunately everyone else loves me! :-*

<Crowd faints>

SL4: And finally! Our current guest winner, Hurrikain!!!

HK: Woo Hoo! Thanks Eust!

Crowd: Hey, wait a minute! Kari’s been all on all year! She's gone! WOO HOO! But why do you only have three guests?

SL4: I’m glad you asked that. (and unlike most people who say that, I actually mean it) I’d like to introduce my new co-host, Kari Wuher!!!!!

KW: Thanks SL4ever! I had to sleep with half the people in the Dominion, but I finally got what I want.

Crowd: Well, that >:-#-ing woke us out of our delight. >:-#

SL4: Okay. So HK, what’s-.

ZM: Before we get started, I want to say I was greatly offended by all the secret dope references in the last ep.

SL4: Have you been talking to Coolslider? And btw, if anyone on this board was going to get that joke, I knew it would be him.

CS <from audience> : What are you trying to say?

SL4: Let’s just say that you probably wear sunglasses a lot, even on a rainy day.

CS: I don’t know what you’re talking about. 8-)

SL4: So anyway, your objection is noted and rejected, Zoe. Moving on ... HK! You first!

HK: I liked the post Dominion History 4-24-2000 by EustiSlider. It made me feel all tingly inside-.

KW: I could make you feel all tingly ... inside AND outside! :-*

HK <stares at her> : Now why the >:-# would you say something like THAT?

KW: I like you! I heard you reviewed ALL my songs. Anyone who adores me that much deserves some sugar. :-*

HK: STOP KISSING THE AIR IN MY DIRECTION!!!!!

KW: Ooooo, I love it when a man’s in denial. :-P

<HK grips his hands together as if stopping something from happening with great effort. For a second his skin seems to be green, then whatever is happening passes>

SL4: Don’t make him angry, Kari.

TT: You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

HK: Anyway, the post made me nostalgic. Don't ask me why.

KW: Why?

HK: Ah... the days the Elian controversy and when ridiculous handles once ran free...

WagonChrist <from audience> : Hey!!!

ZM: Well, I liked your RS post, HK! Oh my S.T.A.R.S. is was good! :-P

KW: HEY! I have the "tongue sticking out cutely" patented!

ZM: Bite me.

One person on the back of the audience: Put that on Pay Per View! :-D

TT: Well, I liked Informant’s Roswell review. It’s an interesting show, something I wouldn’t have minded being involved with.

SL4: I don’t doubt that, if you’d contemplate working with Howard Stern.

KW: As for me, I liked Dreiling2001’s JOC movie idea post. That was pretty amusing, if a scary thought.

SL4: And considering that if you have a cheesy commercial Dole’s right there in front clamoring to be in it, I think it’d be easy to get him in a movie. Well, that’s it for that day. What about 4-25, Zoe?

ZM: I liked Callie21v’s post about Into The Vortex v2.0.

PFKAS <from audience> : I resent the comparison of me to Galactica 1980! And what was that little white haired moron all about, anyway? He looked like Grunge Smurf!

SL4: Um ... yeah. Well, it was an amusing post and also reply by Coolslider.

TT: Personally, I’m glad that MSR told us about the Sliders marathon! I had no idea it was on, and I would have missed the fun of capping Requiem if she hadn’t told us.

SL4: I didn’t see you there capping.

TT: I was “Double T” didn’t you see me there? “Double T” of course is a Sliders reference and also describes my initials.

KW: Wow! I didn’t get that until you said something!

HK: Speaking of morons ... Anyway, I liked Informant’s Buffy/Angel reviews! I agree on Info on this one, although the plot was kinda hollow, it was HILARIOUS to see Saah Michellle Gellar pull off a "Kari"... oh sorry... Maybe I'm "Better Off" not saying that. >:-(

KW: Ooooo, ANOTHER mention! Has anyone else noticed that HK can’t go more than a post or two on the board without mentioning me??? He doesn’t want to admit it, but he thinks I’m SMOOOOOOKING!

HK: You’re smoking all right. Smoking CRACK.

KW: That’s another thing. You’re always associating me with CRACK. But I’m not fooled, you’re not talking about drugs, you’re talking about -.

SL4: Oh my! Look! It’s the commercial sign! We’ll be back in two minutes and two seconds!


“Man: What are you doing??

Woman: Putting this in the cart. That’s why I’m here at the grocery store, to pick up groceries.

Man: That’s MILK!!

Woman: And apparently you’re Mr. Obvious.

Man: Good God, woman! Milk is the drink of Satan! Put it back!

Woman: Do you see this? This is the hair spray of Satan, otherwise known as pepper spray. Now get out of my face.

Man: Think about it. What is the first thing they take you off of when you get breast cancer? Dairy products! Well, duh, if it isn’t good to drink dairy products when you have cancer, why would it be good the rest of the time? Why would you want to drink it at all?

Woman: Well, I guess it’s not a problem unless you have the cancer...

Man: If it worsens the condition then it probably contributes to getting it in the first place! Also, why are there so many smegging ads for milk? Milk has been around for, oh, about ten million years! I think everyone has heard of it by now! Why would dairy farmers need to spend all that money on commercials for something we all know about?

Woman: That’s a good question. You don’t see ads for bread do you?

Man: No, you don’t! The reason is that milk is EVIL and, deep in our hearts, we know it! So they have to keep pounding it into our heads that we want milk!

Woman: You’re right. <puts milk back> So what do you suggest?

Man: Oh, well, I usually drink whiskey. It’s especially good with coca puffs. You haven’t lived until you’ve had chocolate whiskey!

Woman: Woo Hoo!!


Announcer: Milk! Got Evil?

Brought to you by Jack Daniels.”


SL4: And we’re back. I can’t let 4-25 go without mentioning that Temp’s reply to fatboy_isthe_bomb was pretty funny.

KW: And true. The only person for me is HK. :-*

HK <struggling to control himself> : I’m. Warning. You. Don’t get me angry!

SL4: Well, tell us about your thoughts about 4-26! That should calm you down.

HK: I though Brand_S’s post about a hidden "inspiration" for Paradise Lost other than all signs point to "Tremors" was interesting. Maybe Squirm begat Tremors that begat... oh never mind.

TT: Someone ripping off a movie for their own movie? NO WAY!!! Somebody get me some smelling salts!

SL4: I had forgotten that this movie was MSTied. So I HAVE seen it, but successfully blocked it from my memory.

KW: If you say so. Anyway, my favorite post of the day was HK’s ETD2 trailer! :-* Very funny, sweetie.

HK <fists clenched> : First of all, I did that post on 4-25, you CRACK HO!!! Second, stop kissing the air in my direction!! Third, if you ever call me “sweetie” again I’ll cram TIP up your >:-#!!

TIP <from audience> : Uh-oh.

TT: Oooookay. Well, I’m glad Fogboy let us know about the TVGuide interview. That was interesting and spawned a lively debate in that post.

SL4: That was interesting, as was the Fetus debate by Informant. I always like the debates. We had another interesting one started by Hunter on our last day of review, 4-27. The reply titles alone are amusing enough to take a look at that post! Of course the replies are interesting as well.

ZM: Why don’t you ever weigh in on any of these debates?

SL4: That’s a good question, and I have a really good answer.

ZM: Cool. Oh, before we move on, I was glad to hear that Slider120 is starting Season 7 today! Woo Hoo!! As for 4-27 we didn’t really have a whole lot going on. A couple more spam posts and the debate you mentioned.

TT: We had DMD’s history, which is always interesting.

ZM: I take back what I said because I just remembered Ney’s poll results post! That was interesting. Apparently a lot of fans of the hideous Farscape visit his site.

KW: You’re just mad that you didn’t make the best actress top 5.

ZM: I need to kiss the air more. :-*

Crowd: Ooooooooooh.

SL4: Anyway, I thought Slider_Quinn21’s fan fiction post was interesting.

Slider_Quinn21: I might have noticed that you liked it if you’d >:-#-ing REPLIED to it!!!!

SL4: What about you, HK? Anything for 4-27?

HK: I thought Tig’s poll post was amusing. As were some of the replies.

KW: I wish you would give me a pole, Sweetie. :-P

HK: THAT’S IT!!! CAN’T. CONTROL. TRANS-

IHK: -MATION! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!

TT: Why are you GREEN?

ZM: And why are you getting up?

IHK: BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!

TIP: NO! Don’t do it! Hey! Lemme down!

KW: You wouldn’t dare!

TIP: No!! Sir, I beseech you! NOOOOOOOOOOO <more muffled now> oooooooo!

KW: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

IHK <wiping hands on a towel> : Well! I feel much better! :-P Don’t look at me like that Kari, I warned you.

TIP <muffled> : but what did i do?

IHK: You’re just an all around annoying bastard.

KW: I quit. I can’t work under these conditions.

TT: That’s true. For one thing, you couldn’t fit in a chair! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

SL4: Jesus God Almighty. That’s all the time we have today. Now, we have one more show before my trip and then I’ll be off for a week. So the next show is going to be very special. So I need two volunteers who’ll be willing to send me their post reviews. I prefer new participants, but anyone is eligible. There will also be a couple surprises so don’t miss it! Goodnight everybody!

“The Way it Wuz Talked About is brought to you by the Disney Movie “Atlantis” !!! We’re officially out of ideas for animated movies now!!! By The Rolling Cadavers!!! Join Mick Jagger and the rest on their latest farewell tour!!! Bring your own Metamusal!! And by Slappy the Adult Clown, serving up hot adult clown fun for over 20 years with only two civil suits!!”



“Milk! Got Evil?”

Original URL http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/2326/25676
Nominated by Blinker