TWIWTA (4-28 thru 5-2) !!

Date: 05/05/2001
From: SL4ever

The Way it Wuz ... Talked About!

SL4: Hello again everybody! I’m your fabulous host, SL4ever! And this is The Way it Wuz Talked About, that show where we talk about the days that wuz and this time we’ll actually look ahead to the days that will be! We have an exciting show for you today with a special two board member panel!!! But first, these messages!


“Woman: Billboard Handle Registration Office. Can I help you? Oh >:-#! Not you AGAIN!! I see you more than I see my mother!

MissingSliderRyan: I just have a dozen handles I want to register.

Woman: All right. Fill out these forms and come back.

<MSR moves aside, revealing the next person in the long line.>

Blinker: Hi there. I-.

Woman: Good Heavens! YOU TOO!! <she peers behind Blinker and sees Tigs, SL4ever, and EustiSlider.> Oh. My. God.

Announcer: Not going anywhere for a while? Try our new chocolate covered potato candy bar, “Pickers!” The “P” stands for the lush potatoy taste!

Woman: Next!

Aelita: HI! I’m back on the board and I want to celebrate with some new handles! <Steps aside to reveal a handtruck loaded down with registration forms.>

Woman: Mmmmmmm. Thank God for ‘Pickers!’”


SL4: We’re back, and let’s meet our panel. First, fresh from the hospital and quitting her job as my cohost, Kari Wuher!!

KW: I can’t wait until my lawsuit hits. :-D

SL4: Next up we have the actress whose head stared in the just MSTied “Requiem,” Maria Stanton!!!!

MS: It’s about time I get some recognition for the time I spent in that fish tank!

SL4: Our next guest is the Nicholas Lea obsessing great fan fic writing X-Files but not Sliders script quoting MissingSliderRyan!!!!

Crowd: WOO HOO!!!

MSR: Great. Invite me AFTER Nickie is a guest. >:-#

SL4: And finally! Our other board member volunteer for this ep, CoolSlider!!!

Crowd: What the >:-# is a SEXENG!!??!!

SL4: Okay, since this is the last show before my hiatus I’m going to do something special tonight. We’re going to play, “Whose Post Comment is it Anyway!” Each board member will be teamed up with a Sliders star. Everyone has submitted their post comments ahead of time, and whichever team attributes the most comments correctly will win fabulous prizes!

CS: What the >:-#? I didn’t sign up to play any reindeer games!

SL4: The prize for 4-28/29 is an all expenses paid date with Sabrina Lloyd for you or Nicholas Lea for MSR.

CS: I’m in! I’m in! I’m in! I’m in! I’m in! I’m in! I’m in! I’m in!

SL4: Okay, we’ll start as soon as someone revives MSR.

<smelling salts are brought in and MSR is revived.>

MSR: You’re dogmeat, Cool. I’m WINNING this mother>:-#-er.

CS: I hate to disappoint you, but I GOT to have this one! :-D

SL4: Okay, Kari, you’re with CS.

CS: Never mind, I just lost. >:-#

SL4: MS, you’re with MSR.

MS: I’m just an “R” away from being YOU!

MSR: The only way you could be me is if I got a lobotomy.

SL4: Okay, CS, you’re first. I’m going to read a post comment by someone and you have to guess which of the five of us, counting me, wrote it. “I loved the DIE HU-MAN’S post by that KromaggDynasty person, especially the replies. Although I don’t remember anyone on the show ‘Dynasty’ who wanted to kill all humans.”

CS: Oh, Jesus God, that HAS to be Kari!

KW: WOO HOO!!! You’re right!

SL4: Okay Kari, who said this about a post over those two days, “overall, I've gotta say that the X-Files
Parody posted by MissingSliderRyan was as funny as watching your four hundred pound computer teacher slip on ice and fall into the street. I'm actually surprised she didn't write it herself...girl's creative. Actually, do we have the video clip of the music video? Cut to that.

[Chris Carter sits at his basement desk, wearing boxer shorts, eating Oat Bran and wearing a shirt that says "I'M BIGGER THAN THE BEATLES WHO ARE BIGGER THAN JESUS" while typing away at the keyboard}

"Want me to give some answers? Why should I now, I NEVER DID!
You fans mess with me and I'll make it Krycek's kid!
There will never be closure as long as I'm at the helm
That's what you people get for not watching Harsh Realm "

HILARIOUS!”

KW: Um, did MSR say that?

CS: You really are an abject moron, aren’t you?? Why would she write “I'm actually surprised she didn't write it herself...girl's creative.” About herself????

KW: Wait a minute! Let the man tell us who said it before you jump down my throat! I might be right!

CS: You’re not right because *I* said that!

SL4: So you two score 1 point. MSR, your turn. Who said, “I loved CoolSlider’s post about seeing the Azure Gate Bridge because that proves wrong all the morons who said no one would paint the bridge that color in real life because low flying aliens might wreck into it.”

MSR: Well gee, lemme think. Two of the people have already been quoted, I know that *I* didn’t say that, and it sounds like something stoopid enough for Maria to have said so it wasn’t you SL4ever, so I’ll pick Maria!

SL4: Correct! And finally, Maria, who said, “DoctorFaust's post on 4-29 about the Sliders-esque ad on Fox that night. I didn't even catch that on the commercials. All I saw was the <shudders at Kari's songs> flowers.”

MS: Ummmmm. ... I’ll pick me! I said that! <giggles>

SL4: Is that your fina-.

CS <pulls out a Glock and points it at SL4ever’s head> : NO! If you finish that sentence I won’t be responsible for my actions!

SL4 <swallows> : Are you sure that is your answer, Maria?

MS <shaking her head> : Yep!

SL4: Wrong! It was MSR who said that.

MS: Aw, man.

SL4: So we have a tie at 1-1. That means we roll over the prize to the next day grouping, 4-30/5-1. The aforementioned prize will go to whoever wins that two day group, as well as the daily prize: Two nights and three days at a world of your choice depicted in any Sliders ep.

CS: WOO HOO!!! Love Gods world here I cum!!!

MSR: Nope! WOO HOO!!! The World Ryan Stayed Behind At world here *I* come! :-P~~~~~

SL4: We’ll see who wins, right after this commercial break!

“Hello, my name is Al Blow. I want to talk to you tonight about the horrors of CRACK. A lot of jokes are made about it on this board, but it is really a horrible drug that should never be taken lightly. Or taken heavily. It shouldn't be taken at all! Listen to these horror stories.

Man: I took some CRACK and then went to a party. When I woke up I was in bed with Kari Wuher!!! <retches at the memory.> It ... was ... sniff ... horrible! CRACK has ruined my sex life forever because I can’t get the memory of what happened that night out of my mind! DAMN YOU CRACK!

Woman: I took some CRACK and it really affected my judgment. I started eating at Dennys, watching CBS’s horrid morning show, and drinking unsweetened tea at four in the morning! DAMN YOU CRACK!!!

Michael Reaves: I wrote Requiem. Nuff said.

Al Blow: So keep in mind the dangers of CRACK. It’s no laughing matter! You don’t want to be the next person Blinker posts a link about, do you?????”


SL4: And we’re back. Kari, you go first this time. Who said, “Cappers delight. Requiem was a total blast. Oooo... The Chasm is in the next marathon. An eppy also needed of capping.”

KW: Hmmm, there is one person among the four of us who has been really into the marathon, both before and after it aired. If I remember right, it was Maria!

MS: There was a marathon?

SL4: You remember wrong. It was MissingSliderRyan!

CS <petting his Glock> : Easy boy. I know you want me to, but I’m sure it’s against the rules to shoot my partner.

SL4: Okay, CoolSlider, your turn. Who said: “I was sorry to see DMD’s bboard history post go down the tubes. Sniff. Now there is NO WAY to know what happened last year and the year before!”

CS: There is only one person who could be that retarded! I’m going with Kari again!

KW: WOO HOO!! You’re on fire, baby!

CS: I’ll bet that’s not the first time you’ve said that to a man.

SL4: MS, this one is for you. Who said, “Ah, the beginning of one of my favorite months. What better way to start off a fresh new month than by making a jab at that loveable David Peckinpah. Blinker's Fun Peck Fact actually almost made me wanna type LOL. Now, I hate using LOL because it's so mainstream, man. And I'm like, no way dude, you're not gonna get me to conform.

Anyway, notice how the grave shot was also a WIDE SHOT. Peck couldn't get enough of WIDE P***S er...SHOT. I mean WIDE SHOT.”

MS: That sounds really hip, and is amusing. I said that! <giggles>

MSR: WOULD YOU STOP PICKING YOURSELF AS SAYING THINGS YOU DIDN’T >:-#-ING SAY!?!?!?!? Besides that, it was obviously CoolSlider!

SL4: You are correct, but unfortunately she wasn’t. Now it’s your turn, MSR. Who said, “I found it ironic that no one replied to Irony’s post about a definite ending to Sliders because, like the fans itself, there was no closure to this post through replies.”

MSR: Only one person is pretentious enough to philosophize like that, and a sucker enough to go for the lame handle name tie in! It was YOU, SL4ever!

SL4: Correct! So we finish the second grouping still tied, this time at 2-2. Back right after this.

Producer: There's only two commericals per ep, you mendicant! We're lucky that many people want to advertise on this hideous show!

SL4: And we’re back. Now we enter the final segment still tied. So whoever wins 5-2 will get the previously mentioned prizes and also you get to be locked into a room with Peckinballs for one hour.

CS: WOO HOO! I HAVE TO HAVE IT NOW!!!!

MSR: So do I!!! :-P~~~~~~~~~~~~

SL4: MSR, you get the first question on 5-2. Who said, “I got nothing. Uh...Joey_Starr, congratulations on meeting Commander Kesh. Don't masturbate too furiously to the autographed photo.”

MSR: Mmmmm. Inappropriate comment, so that narrows it down to you and CS. But this one was actually funny, so that eliminates you, so I’ll have to say CoolSlider!

SL4: Right again! Okay, MS. Who said, “I loved the Peck Fun Fact that day. How big of a loser do you have to be to dedicate your life to Peckinballs?”

MS: Hmmmmm...

MSR: If you say you did again I swear to GOD I will shove TIP up your >:-#!!!!

KW: You don’t want that, believe me! He’s got a big nose!

SL4: No interfering, MSR!!! Go ahead Maria.

MS: After careful consideration, SL4, I’ll have to pick ... ME!!

MSR: I warned you! <gets up and heads for TIP>

SL4: You are correct, Maria!

MSR: What? She got it right?? WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!! <Comes back and stands over CoolSlider> YES!!!! IN YOUR FACE!!! WOOOOHOOOOOO! YES!!! YOU’LL NEVER GET KARI TO ANSWER ONE RIGHT! I’M THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD!!!! :-P~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CS: Sit your >:-# down!

SL4: Okay, CoolSlider, your turn. Who said. “I loved CoolSlider’s post about Maggie. As well as Blinker’s reply saying that Maggie could get arrested for wiping a car with used underwear! I mean, someone had to have DONE that for them to make a law against it! EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!”

CS: Oh, well, of COURSE that’s YOU!!! I know how you gravitate towards used underwear! :-P

SL4: Another correct answer. So now, Kari, it comes down to you. For the game saving tie, you have to get this answer correct. If you fail, not only do you suffer the humiliation of finishing lower than MARIA, but you cost CS an hour in a room alone with Peckinballs with the door locked, an all expenses paid date with Sabrina Lloyd, and a vacation on the world of his choice. Kari, who said “I loved the TM post about Buffy. Especially where he says ‘Tara's now virtually mentally dead.’ Because I can relate to the poor girl. I have felt that way a lot in my life. Now if you’re done asking me about these stooopid posts, I need to go wipe down my car. Why are you looking at me like that? I always use one these!”

KW: Hmmmmm, that’s a hard one.

<Crowd bites their tongues, trying very hard not to make a comment about her comment, afraid to disturb her concentration.>

KW: Man, I have no clue.

<CS grips the chair with both hands to keep from throttling her.>

SL4: You have to make a guess.

<CS breaks out in an enraged sweat.>

KW: Okay. Shoot.

CS: Don’t ask me twice, >:-#

KW: You’re mean! Just for that, I’m going to intentionally get it wrong! :-* I pick ME! I said that! Too bad, CS, you should have been nicer! :-*

SL4: You are correct, Kari!!!

CS: WOO HOO!!!! Saved by the imbecile!!!! IN YOUR FACE, MSR!!!!

MSR: >:-#

SL4: Okay, now we’ll go to overtime. Maria, you and Kari will be active for this question. Whichever one of you answers correctly will win all of the prizes for your teammate!

KW: Okay, we think we understand.

MS: So this means that CS can help me, right?

MSR: He’s not even your teammate, you blistering idiot!

SL4: Here we go. Who said the following about a post on 4-30, “Vinnie C's ANAL SLIDE post was retarded. I mean, yes it would have been funny if *I* did it because I would have been a little more creative and wouldn't have told the board about my Robert K. Weiss fantasies. I mean, there are just some things you don't talk about in public. I have a secret desire for Bill Dial (oh baby, oh baby) but I don't post it to the board. Can I please inject syphilis bacteria into this guy?”

<KW and MS just stare ahead blankly. Finally MS hits her buzzer.> MS: What does “retarded” mean?

SL4: You can’t buzz in to ask questions! You have to give me an answer!

MS: Um, well, okay. I said it.

MSR: Look in the mirror if you want to know what retarded means!

MS: MSR YOU FOOL! Mirrors don’t have dictionaries printed on them!

MSR: Fascinating. You’d actually have to be smarter to be offended by a stooopid joke.

KW: I know who said that.

<Everyone stares at her.> SL4 <finally finding his voice> : Okay. Hit me with it.

KW: CoolSliderRyan said it.

SL4: That’s not even a person, you dumb>:-#!!

KW: Oh! Hee hee. I meant MSR!!!

CS: No, NO, *NO* you ... you ... words escape me to describe how big of a moron you are! You are the secret love child of Suzanne Sommers and Jimmy Bond!

SL4: I’m sorry, it was CS who said that. So we end in a tie. We’ll have a playoff in two weeks when I get back.

MSR and CS: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

SL4: You have better partners then. I promise!

MSR and CS: YESSS!!! Excellent plan!

SL4: I just have enough time to get some predictions from everyone. What do you think we’ll see next week on the board?

KW: I think we’ll not see a ToFGaL post.

SL4: Duh. Any fool could predict that!

KW: Thank you!

MS: I think we’ll not see posts from Spaz119, Mychand, and SouthernSlider.

SL4: Jesus God Almighty, is anyone going to go out on a limb???

MS: We’ll see a post dedicated just to me and how wonderful I was in Requiem.

SL4: Thank you, that's better. At least you have the guts to predict something that’s never going to happen.

MSR: Well, I think that we’ll see spoilers for Buffy, Angel and X-Files. The continuation of dating posts ie (5-02-01) or [5-2] Someone will get the First Post of the day. Announcement for the new Star Trek Series and Star Trek X movie. More Facts about Peck and Sliders. A new fanfic will appear.

SL4: Okay, good ones. And finally, CS.

CS: In the next little while, I think the board could be seeing: More irrelevance from the Irrelevant Poster. I mean, sure he's annoying. But some of the stuff he does is funny as hell.

SL4: I TOLD you to take your medication before appearing tonight!

CS: We’ll also see The Fun Sliders/Peck Fact. It could turn into an ongoing thing where different people come up with some super-sweet factoids. More Sliders: The Next Dimension news (*cough* plug *cough*) Yes! The pilot episode has finished filming. Stay tuned to the board for some spoilers on the new series. I can also foresee a quiet board week as most of the members will be seeking professional help after hearing the news of Kari Wuhrer's new CD. *shudders* Hold me, Bill Dial. And finally, what the word SEXENGS means. It's been haunting everyone (Especially SpaceTime) for the past month. What is a SEXENG? Well, I'm not gonna hold it back any longer. A SEXENG is a --

SL4: Well, we’re outta time.

SpaceTime: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! He was about to tell us!!!

SL4: Stay tuned for the commercial announcement for what’s coming up next week. Goodnight everybody!

“The Way it Wuz Talked About is brought to you Roach Aid!! Help us save our oppressed insectile brothers! By Meatloaf!! When the >:-# is he going to let Jim Steinman write some more songs for him???? And by Slappy the Adult Clown, he’ll fill the clown void in your life! Call today!”



“Hmmmmm, that’s a hard one.”



“SL4ever is going to be out of town next week but the laughs aren’t going anywhere!

He’s insane!

‘God hates you!’

He’s funny!

‘sure, I've over-used the word "SEXENGS" but I still think it's as funny as Jimmy Carter with Downe Syndrome.’

He’s the guest host next week for The Way it Wuz ... Talked About!

CooooooooooooooooooooooooooolSlider!

Don’t miss him next week on a very special TWIWTA!!

‘But damn, this "All your base are belong to us" is going too far. *cry*’”

Original URL http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/2326/25744
Nominated by Blinker