TWIWTA (6-1 thru 6-4) !!

Date: 06/05/2001
From: SL4ever

PFKAS: Man, the last two eps, hosted by CoolSlider, were AWESOME!! I was rolling on the floor!!

SL4Beaver: That was because you got hammered on six Vodka and milks, it didn’t have anything to do with laughing!

PFKAS: You mean there’s another reason people roll on the floor?

Sliding_Skull: Hey SL4ever, we were just debating the similarities between Tigs and MSR, we weren’t talking about how much we like CoolSlider as the host of TWIWTA or anything like that.

SL4: Uh huh. It’s a good thing I’m not paranoid.

PFKAS: Not paranoid? HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! What are you talking about? You’re the Al Michaels of Bboard talk shows!!

SL4: I am NOT paranoid!

Sliding_Skull <peering out window> : Hey! Someone’s within six feet of your car!

SL4: WHAT??? <grabs an asp and runs for the door>

SL4Beaver: You’re right though, noone has ever seen MSR and Tigs on IM at the same time.

PFKAS: You moron, that was our cover conversation.

SL4Beaver: Oh. ... Let’s talk about beaver now.



The Way it Wuz ... Talked About!

SL4: Hello again everybody! I’m your fabulous host, SL4ever! And this is The Way it Wuz Talked About, that show where we talk about the days that wuz and occasionally look ahead to the days that will be! We have a great all board member panel tonight so it should be an exciting show for you today!!! But first, these messages!


“Female: Here’s your McApple Sauce and Diet Coke, sir.

Man: Thank you. Say, you’re hot, what time do you get off? Maybe I can buy you a drink.

Female: There are two problems with that offer. Number one, you’re wearing sandals with no socks in public. I never date someone if I know what their toes look like before I know their name. So I find you mildly repulsive. And number two, I’m only 15 years old and you look to be somewhere between 35 and 106.

Man: You’re 15??? No >:-#-ing way!!!

Female: I’m not even finished with my first year of high school.

Man: But ... you have breasts the size of Canada! You look 28 years old!

Man #2: Hey Nabokov! There’s a big line back here! Why don’t you go find a sandbox somewhere?

Man: Jesus God. This is so embarrassing!


Announcer: Do you embarrass yourself frequently because you suck at guessing people’s ages?


Guard: Excuse me, I need to see your ID.

Male: What are you talking about?

Guard: You have to be 21 or over to enter here.

Male: I’m 45 years old!!!

Guard: You don’t look it. Your ID, if you please.

Male: I OWN this >:-#-ing place!

Guard: You’re not allowed to cuss unless you’re over 21 as well, young man.

Male: I HIRED you!!!

Guard: Your ID, please.


Announcer: Has your inability to determine someone’s age ever cost you a job?


Man: Judge Williams! I didn’t expect to see you at this party!

JW: Well, I didn’t expect to see you either. I should go, since I’m presiding over your lawsuit.

Man: At least you can properly introduce me to your grandmother before you go.

JW: :-O This is my wife! She’s five years younger than I am!!

Wife: Well! I never! <bursts into tears>

Man: Oh dear god. I’m so sorry! It’s just that you look so old that I never imagined you’d be his wife.

<Wife cries harder>

JW: Let’s go, Poofles. Oh, stop crying, he’s just an abject moron. <turns to Man> I’ll see YOU in court tomorrow. :-D


Announcer: Have you really dug a deep hole for yourself because you are a horrible age guesser? Are you tired of never knowing how old or young someone is? Do you suspect a lover of lying to you about his or her real age? You don’t have to suffer any longer! With our new InstaCDS (Carbon Dating System) you can instantly know someone’s real age! Just put a strand of their hair in the portable InstaCDS and in three seconds it will test their DNA and tell you the person’s age down to the second!

Let’s watch!


Female: Hi there! I love your music. Can I >:-# you?

Billy Idol: Just a second. <plucks hair>

Female: Ow!

Billy Idol <consulting small device in his hand> : Nope, sorry. You look 35 but you’re actually jail bait. Thank you InstaCDS!!!

Female: Aw, man! Can you at least >:-# me???

Billy Idol: Hmmm, lemme check the local blue laws. Nope, it doesn’t say anything about that. You’re on!


Announcer: Never be embarrassed, fired, or entrapped again! With InstaCDS!!!”



SL4: We’re back, and let’s meet our panel. First, the most annoying bastard on the planet, TIP!!

TIP: I like sausage!

SL4: Next up we have the funniest guy on the board, Blinker!!!!

BLK: Actually, I think SpaceTime is more hilarious, but not intentionally.

SL4: Our next guest is a frequent board contributor, HunterD_Raven!

HDR: If you don’t stop linking me with Stoker_Chick, I’m gonna have to claim your head! <strokes sword>

SL4: And our final guest is Kari Wuher!!!!

Crowd: Hey! You said this was going to be all board members!!!

SL4: You mean you’re not bored of Kari yet?

Crowd: Oh. That was worse than “emotional blackmail.”

BLK: MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!! It’s so bad it’s good. 7:-P

SL4: Okay, before we go on, I just want to thank CoolSlider for guest hosting the last two eps. Both eps were hysterical. Let me explain what is going to happen now. This episode is going to cover the most recent days on the board. Then we’ll bring CoolSlider and MSR back in here for a conclusion to their contest, which will cover the remaining days of May. So we’re going forward a little bit, and then we’ll take a look back. Does that make sense?

<Deathly silence.>

SL4: Ooooookay. So start us off, TIP. What do you find interesting about June 1st?

TIP: The interesting thing about June 1st was that I got the first post of the day! <rips off her shirt, jumps on the top of the coffee table between the two sets of chairs, and starts dancing> WOO HOO!! I GOT THE FIRST POST OF THE DAY!!! WHO RULES???? WHO’S YOUR MOMMA????

HDR: Sit your >:-# down before I cut you in half!

TIP: No need to get testy. <returns to her seat>

BLK: Well, personally, I loved the conclusion of TM’s fan fic “Suspicion.” Of course, the whole thing rocked, but it was a conclusion worthy of the story. 7:-P

SL4: Speaking of you, Blinker, I loved your CRACKWATCH post. That was hysterical.

TIP: So what is this about you being Howie Long?

SL4: Oh, well, I included one of my favorite quotes, something Howie Long said, at the bottom of my reply. VD thought I was signing the post “Howie Long” when in reality I was just assigning the quote.

KW: So you’re saying that you’re Howie Long? I love those commercials you do with that tramp Teri Hatcher. I think I would be better in them, though. :-P

BLK: Hey, did you know that Howie Long’s wife actually got pissed off about those commercials? She noticed that when Teri jumps over the couch in one of them, her tongue sticks out for 1/32th of a second and the wife thought it was a sexual come-on. She must have digitized every commercial and ran them one frame at a time to see this.

HDR: Man, how paranoid do you have to be to notice a nanosecond’s worth of tongue sticking out?

SL4: Damn, Kari can get us off track faster than she can get her clothes off. Put your clothes back on, Kari.

KW: Spoil sport.

SL4: So what did you think about 6-1, Hunter?

HDR: I liked Le_Modus’ post about Robert Duncan McNeill. There was a lot of interesting stuff I didn’t know in the replies.

SL4: A couple things I didn’t see in the replies to add to the list. Tim Russ, who played Tuvok, had three different roles in previous Star Trek efforts. He played a bad guy henchman on a STNG ep where Picard foils an attempt to take over an empty Enterprise that is having the dust knocked off the hull at the time. (I don’t remember the name of the ep or much more about it) He also was in a DS9 ep called "Invasive Procedures." And he also played a bridge officer on the Enterprise B in the movie “Generations.” So counting Tuvok, that is four different roles he has played in the Star Trek universe. That has to be a record.

<deathly silence>

KW: Man, he sure can get us off the subject as quickly as he can ... take off his shoes, can’t he?

TIP: I like shoes!

SL4: Well, alrighty then. Talk to us about June 2nd, Blinker!

BLK: I liked Hurrikain’s Caption This post. Bisexual. 7:-D

SL4: That was a lot of fun, wasn’t it? We got some fantastic riffs off that piccie! Hee hee.

HDR: A post I liked was eZeSlider’s post about continuity, which also led into another discussion about Which Arturo Slid. That always turns into a good row.

TIP: I like cornrows!

KW: I do too, TIPster. :-* But I also liked TM’s history post, but I can’t for the life of me understand what the title had to do with history? And how do you sit beside a vortex?

SL4: I’d rather you sit in front of a Stargate right before someone offworld opens a wormhole to it. But anyway, Sarah’s right, she DID post a lot that day. :-P

TIP: I like Slider_Sarah!

SL4: Whoops! Time for a commercial! Hunter, while we’re gone, can I borrow your sword?


“Monday’s a night of MUST SEE TV on FOX!!

First, on “Boston Public,” tired of being domineered by UberGeek Scott Guber, a band of students attack him after school, stick his conductor’s baton up his >:-#, stuff him in a trash can, and roll him down six flights of stairs. Guber is in fair condition at Boston Mercy Hospital and says the first thing he is going to do upon returning to work is make a new rule forbidding the female students to use school trash cans for tampon disposal. Meanwhile, another 6 teachers are fired for having sex with students, Harry is threatened with dismissal for the 25th time this season, Lipshitts makes another 45 racially offensive or England bashing remarks, and Rashida Jones perfects her lip pout to replace Jessica Alba as the hottest thing on television.


Then, on a very special “Ally McBeal,” Ally has to run the office by herself because Robert Downey Jr and Lisa Nicole Carson get the rest of the cast baked and all of them head for LA for the 15th time this season. Ally discovers that one person is perfectly capable of handling the entire office’s case load because everyone had been spending all their time in the bathroom, having sex with each other, dipping in each other’s business, getting soaked at the bar, singing, or any combination of those things, the office only had three clients left. Overcome with loneliness, Ally binges on two Oreo cookies, which is more food than her emaciated body can handle, and dies in the bathroom, clutching a dancing baby doll and crying out “Rose Water! Rose Water!” over and over again.

FOX! Bringing you high drama and low comedy every night of the week! Who needs “The Lone Gunmen” ??”


SL4: And we’re back. Well, me and three of our guests are back anyway. And the janitor has just finished cleaning up the mess, so we’re ready to go. Kari! June 3rd!

KW: Hunter had two interesting posts in a row. First about how the Jedi and the Federation attacked Pearl Harbor and then about how the Japanese are really evil though they pretend to be all peaceful and good and >:-#.

HDR: Hey janitor! Don’t leave yet!

SL4: Actually, I loved the post about the Jedi and Federation. I hadn’t really thought about it before, but you make a good point. Probably more so with the Federation, simply because they are obviously modeled after the sometimes oppressive and always incompetent UN. But, as in the world today, as much as Democracy sucks it is still a mile above all other hideous systems of government.

<deathly silence>

KW: Tsk, tsk. This is a Sliders shows!

HDR: Well, liked Informant’s post about what makes pretty. There was some interesting answers there. I gave a detailed response there on what I think makes pretty –

KW: Did you mention me??? <blinks seductively> Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm? I’m not a 50’s style woman!

HDR <shudders> : Um, no. And no, you’re not 50’s style. I guess I would call you a Flapper, if I had to plant an era on you.

KW: Hmmmm. Flapper. I like that. :-P

BLK: Why am I not surprised you like the word "Flapper" ? How about "Fluffer" ? Do you like that word?

SL4: Well, I liked Brand_S’s post about TLG lost ep. He mentioned something I hadn’t thought about, and it was fun to nitpick the ep. OH WHY DID THEY CANCEL IT???? THEY CANCEL ALL THE SHOWS I LIKE!!!!!! SOB!!!

KW: It’s personal. They found out what you, SL4ever, like and then they ax it! <makes slicing motion across her neck with one finger>

HDR: Don’t tempt me.

BLK: Well, I liked MulderScullyRomance’s post about the search for Mulder starting all over again. Finally, the X-Files fans have started to experience the pain of a series spinning wildly out of control and this ep begins their chance to enjoy it a second time. Come aboard the train to Painsville! There’s always room for another show’s fans!

SL4: No doubt. Finally, thoughts on 6-4?

BLK: TM begins another good fan fic! WOO HOO!!! Now here is someone who doesn’t have to wait six months in between stories.

SL4: *cough* That’s great! What about you, Kari?

KW: I liked Walkaways’ post about the careers of three of the original Sliders actors. I was wondering the same thing. Well, okay, I wasn’t, but that is only because I am a self absorbed >:-#. Oh! And I love Walkaways’ name! But I prefer the handle Layaways.

SL4: Speaking of self absorbed >:-#s, I was not surprised by MSR’s post about David Anchovy. Was anyone shocked that he bailed out for good? And his poor little itty bitty feelings were hurt because he felt out of the loop this year? There was a good solution to this!! DO ALL THE >:-#-ING EPS AND YOU WOULD HAVE HAD A BIGGER ROLE IN THE SEASON!!! What a crying >:-#!!!

<deathly silence>

KW: I ke-.

SL4: Oh my! Look at the time! That’s all the time we have today! Tune in next time when CoolSlider and MSR go toe to toe for all the fabulous prizes I mentioned before PLUS a new, even fabulouser prize! Until then, let’s keep posting!


“The Way it Wuz Talked About is brought to you by Shrek!! Funny as hell and sticking it big time to evil Disney! It doesn’t get any better than that! By the FOX SUX Club!! Who knew that anyone would be moronic enough to duplicate canceling a popular, enjoyable show after a cliffhanger?? Join the FOX SUX Club today!! And by Slappy the Adult Clown!! Do you want a flower spurting all over your face?? Call Slappy today!!!”



SL4Beaver: Now that you mention it, no one has ever seen Blinker and SL4ever in IM at the same time either!

PFKAS: Idiot. We just saw them on the show together!

SL4Beaver: Oh. I think I’ll stick to what I know. The thing I love most about Beavers are the way they smell. It’s a tangy scent, not sweet but not bitter either. I could smell them all day. :-P~~~ Another thin- ... hey, where are you going?

Original URL http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/2326/26017
Nominated by Blinker