Date: 7/4/2000
From: darkslider

I have a strong interest in this one....

Cool:
You're innovation and twisted humor allowed you to defeat vance. You are funny, as well as creative. Although you're new, you seem to enjoy destroying people quite well!! Dellyone's a very strong opponent, and I wouldn't underestimate her if I were you. Good Luck!

dellyone:
Your imagination is KING. The story you created made me laugh harder than I had in a long time. You are definately a pro at this, and I expect to see excellent things from you!! Good Luck!!

May the Lords of Kobol

Date: 7/5/2000
From: dellyone

Have mercy on your soul.

Professor dellyone was running late for her Creative Writing class, but her class didn’t mind a bit. This gave them time for idle chatter. Stoker _chick and HunterD arrived hand in hand from a ‘Crow’ convention and have been gone for a few classes.

“Hey guys, anything interesting happen while we were gone?” asked Stochi as she sat down, placing her notebook and pen on her table.

Yeontoo readied her tape recorder and checked her Swear Words Be Gone ™ translator and micro earphones. Both were in operational order. “Interesting is one way to look at it.”

HunterD raised his right eyebrow a la the Rock, “Okay, what happened?”

“Yeah and where’s Nobuyuki? He’s usually here by now.” Stochi scanned the room for her fellow classmate.

darkslider and SpaceTime were chuckling in the background. “He’s floating around here.”

“Guys, be nice,” chided Tigs as she opened her notebook.

Slider_Sarah explained. “We had a pop quiz last week and Nobuyuki was in front of class giving out the answers. Moron. He didn’t read all the directions first. All he need to do was answer question number one and you got a 100.”

“And? Don’t force me to start a rant about not getting to the point” quipped HunterD.

darkslider interrupted Sarah before she could answer. “Let me tell the rest of it, Sarah.” She nodded yes. “The fool said ‘I love live yak’ right in front of my face. I blasted him for that.”

“Really? Anyone got pictures?” asked Stochi and Hunter at the same time. They saw Yeontoo’s disapproving face then added. “Um… sorry to hear about that.”

The door opened and the class became quiet as dellyone made her way entrance. She smiled as she walked past the large display case filled with photos and other mementos. She pushed her wire cart filled with paperwork and books to her desk. After a few minutes of setting up her notes, finding the appropriate slides and sipping her mocha, she began her lecture.

“Good morning class. I hope you studied the material I gave you the last time. So can anyone tell me a tag line other than ‘Trust no one’ from ‘The X-Files’?” She leaned on the podium as she saw numerous hands go up.

She nodded to Yeontoo. “Apology is policy.”

“Yeah, that’s one. Tigs, go ahead.”

“How about Amor Fati which is Latin for Love of Fate?” dellyone nodded yes.

“Okay, calm down Sabre_Edge.” dellyone was laughing as he waved his hands as if he was shipwrecked and finally saw a plane above him.

“Die Wharheit ist irgendwo da drauben which means the truth is somewhere out there,” he replied in perfect German.

dellyone was pleased that her slacker student was finally studying “Very good. Okay, one more. CoolSlider.”

“See ya at the beach,” he replied as a smirk appeared on his face.

“Bad idea,” whispered Stochi to HunterD.

“Exactly.”

The smile on dellyone’s face evaporated. “Turn your tape recorder off, Yeontoo. Now!” dellyone ordered as she looked over to her.

“What?” inquired a confused Yeontoo as she looked up from her notebook.

“Turn the goddamn tape recorder off!” dellyone stormed to the display case and grabbed a red Furby from the middle shelf. She slammed the red button on the wall next to the display case, activating the ‘LoserCam’ before returning to the podium.

Yeontoo pressed stop, not wanting her recorder to burn up from continuous stopping and deleting expletives that would soon come.

“Oh shit, she’s never been this mad before,” muttered Space as he watched dellyone place the red Furby she dubbed as Flamer on the podium. She went back to her desk to drink some of her mocha.

“CoolSlider’s gonna be toast.” dark turned to the left and saw an uncomfortable CoolSlider fidgeting in his desk.

“He can’t run away. The doors are locked,” smiled DMD as he waited anxiously for the flaming to begin.

“Here you go Sarah and Tigs,” said EustiSlider as he handed them some yellow earplugs. “We don’t want to hear the ringing in our ears like the last time.”

Tigs laughed as she placed hers on her notebook. “You think it’s going to be bad?”

“Um… yeah,” said Sarah as she readied her earplugs.

dellyone stared daggers into CoolSlider before she began. She started pointing at him as she began her tirade. “Dammit, CoolSlider, *do not* mock the best show that has graced the television screen in years. It’s all you fucking Canadians’ fault for the shitty writing and piss poor ratings. Everyone knows that any episode that has too much sunlight is going to be 99% crap. Why couldn’t you appease the powers that be, actors and crew? Is it because your brains were all frozen and stuck on ‘treat them like shit so they can leave’ mode? That was a fucking mistake. Look at the show now! Dammit, a lot of the episodes sucked so bad that I even don’t watch the reruns and I love to watch the reruns. Dammit…”

CoolSlider interrupted her. “Um… I was born in Detroit.”

“Don’t interrupt me, you stupid shit! I blame you uncle fucking Canadians for missing the one concert that I had wanted to see – Madonna’s. I was having a good day until I hit the tollbooth and the state police was there. I threw in my coin and I went through the booth, thinking it was a green light. Dammit, I was wrong. It was one of the goddam Canadian coins some dipshit had put into that roll of quarters I had gotten from the bank. I was so pissed that I had to be in court that same day. It’s all your fault you yellow snow-eating motherfuckers. I missed that concert because of that fucking coin. You’re gonna pay for that CoolSlider as a representative of Canada.”

Sarah, Tigs and Eusti looked at each other then at the earplugs. All three readied them just in case the volume went higher.

dellyone hadn’t even started yet. Those were her introductory remarks. She went back to her desk and this time brought her mocha to the podium. An awkward silence descended on the lecture hall as she stared at her students in turn. Finally, her eyes landed on her target.

She began to slowly pace back and forth in front of the podium. She preferred this method of storytelling to keep her students’ attention. “Let me give you the highlights of young CoolSlider’s life so far. It started when his mother attended the Moose and Elk Roundup and Dance. She got so drunk that she had a fivesome with Howard Stern, Michael Jackson, Tammy Fae Baker and Gary Coleman.”

“That’s sick, man!” exclaimed SE as he leaned back in his seat. “You must have been an ugly baby.”

“Be nice, SE,” warned Yeontoo as she let go of the taut rubber band that was underneath her desk.

SE got hit in his right thigh. “Hey, who did that! That’s not funny!” He started rubbing his thigh as he looked around. He saw giggling angelic faces all around him.

“SE, shut your mouth or it’s your turn next,” dellyone threatened as she stopped pacing.

“Bitch,” muttered SE under his breath.

dellyone began to pace again. “CoolSlider was delivered by a drunken OBGYN. In his inebriated stupor, he exclaimed, “Oops, I did it again” while trying to cut the umbilical cord. Sadly, this was the reason why CoolSlider was denied admission to the NAMBLA. He was a cunt above the rest.”

“Crap, I don’t believe she said that,” said a shocked Tigs as some students laughed.

dellyone waited for the laughter to die down before continuing. “The second important event in CoolSlider’s life was that fine winter day when he was three years old. The other kids had talked him into going down the slide during recess in subzero temperatures. He stupidly took off his clothes first then sat down on the freezing slide. His ass got stuck to the metal half way down the slide. He was crying while the firemen and police were laughing at him. Even his mother was laughing at him. Four hours later and totally exhausted from laughing, the firemen finally freed him. Needless to say, his photo is known world over.”
“Damn, you’re a stupid fuck. You were probably the kid that licked a flagpole and his tongue got stuck,” commented DMD as he looked at CoolSlider who was wringing his hands.

“The next experience that impacted on his life was the time he was four years old and had decided to eat some coins. He wanted to know what happened to them. He grabbed his yellow Lite Brite pegs and ate them too. He looked at his stomach and it wasn’t glowing. CoolSlider searched around his room and found a key. Placing it into a light socket, he proved once again that resistance was futile.” dellyone heard sparse laughter. She shrugged since that was a physics joke and knew that only a few would get it.

“Um… did you get that joke?” asked Stochi.

Eusti was laughing, “Yeah. Damn, that was funny.”

Hunter tapped Eusti on the shoulder to grab his attention. “Explain it to us later.”

Eusti replied, “Sure thing.”

dellyone was finished with the highlights. “CoolSlider, did you mother ever find out what happened to the brooms, mops and cucumbers? She must have know that something was going on since she had to keep buying brooms and mops because the handles were always broken or missing. You can only take the cucumbers back so many times and complain about the brown spots on them and the horrid smell. That’s how you got your handle isn’t it? Refrigerated cucumbers slide better than warm ones.”

“That’s so gross,” said a disgusted Yeontoo.

dellyone drank the rest of her mocha “Mad Libs time. Here’s the first one. CoolSlider is adjective.” She saw Yeontoo’s hand raised and turned of Flamer.

Yeontoo cleared her throat. “CoolSlider is a nice kid.” Yeontoo smiled at CoolSlider, making him at ease for a second.

Flamer said, “Cocksucker is a nymphomaniac caught in a male body.”

Flamer got a rousing round of applause. This was a special Furby that spoke in insults. It was a favorite among the students since they never knew would come out of its mouth. dellyone was thoroughly amused by this gift from SpaceTime and darkslider.

dark raised his hand. “I think this song sums it all up. Space, please do the second stanza.”

Space smiled. “Thanks man. Ready when you are.”

“We will sing our rendition of ‘South Park’s ‘Uncle Fucka’’ with Flamer adding vocals,” continued dark.

The class applauded as well as dellyone. dark and Space took their place behind the podium with the red Furby on top of it. dellyone brought out her boom box, pulled out her ‘South Park’ movie CD and pressed play. dark, Space and Flamer began their serenade.

dark: Shut your fucking face uncle fucka
Furby: Shut your moose fucking face nephew fucka
dark: You're a cock-sucking ass licking uncle fucka
Furby: You’re a cunt sucking ass biting nephew fucka
dark: You're an uncle fucka, yes its true
Furby: You're a nephew fucka, yes its true
dark: Nobody fucks uncles quite like you
Furby: Nobody fucks nephews quite like you

Space: Shut your fucking face uncle fucka
Furby: Shut your motherfucking face nephew fucka
Space: You're the one that fucked your uncle, uncle fucka
Furby: You're the one that fucked your nephew, uncle fucka
Space: You don’t eat or sleep or mow the lawn,
Furby: You eat shit, or sleep with the sheep or do some fucking on the lawn
Space: You just fuck your uncle all day long
Furby: You just fuck your nephew all day long

Applause and hysterical laughter filled the hall as dellyone turned off Flamer. CoolSlider was turning red from the humiliation inflicted on him. All he could do was sit in utter silence until dellyone was finished raking him over the coals.

“Ladies and gentlemen I want to close out this session with loser number 2000 with this song adaptation.” She put in a CD that she made and played it for the class.

Adapted from Bryan Adams’ ‘ Please Forgive Me’

Please Forgive me, Uncle Fucka

It still feels like our first night together, Uncle Fucka
Feels like our first kiss and
It's gettin' better uncle
No one is better than you
Not even the cows, elephants and roosters

The first time our eyes met it's the same feelin' I get
You’re so damn stronger and I wanna love ya longer
You still turn the fire on even after 13 years

Don’t feel lonely, just call me up
You're the only one I'd ever want
I only wanna be your bitch
I love ya more than my boy scout leader

Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me a good fuck too
Or this S& M pain I'm going through
Please forgive me
I need ya like I do

Please believe me
Every fucking word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you

Our best times are together
Just like that first touch in the barn
We're gettin' closer to the edge
Can't get close enough I'm still holdin' on

You're number one, Uncle Fucka
I remember the oily, unwashed smell of your skin
I remember everything
You’ve taught me a thousand moves
I remember those loving nights in the pigsty

One thing I'm sure of
Is the way we make sweet love
And the one thing I depend on
Is for you to stay strong
With every word and every breath I'm prayin'
That's why I'm sayin'...

Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you
Please believe me
Every fucking word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me a good fuck too
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you

After the applause died down, she asked a la Eminem, “Will the real men, please stand up, please stand up? <All the males including CoolSlider stand up> Sit your ass down, CoolSlider! You’ve got a cunt. <CoolSlider sits down.> Dammit, DariaTeen and Charmed sit the fuck down. <Both confused teens sit down.> Will the real women, please stand up, please stand up? <All the ladies stand up. > Don’t fucking stand up CoolSlider, DariaTeen and Charmed! You three are none of the above.”

The entire class laughed at the confused trio. dellyone had to keep everyone entertained. Her one-thousandth loser was hard to top, but she did it with the help of her class. The rest of the campus was going to enjoy this one as well as her fans on the web. The loser’s celebration would be held later that night with CoolSlider in attendance whether he liked it or not.

dellyone walked up to her mortified target, carrying a Polaroid camera. “Smile, loser 2000. This picture’s gonna be on the web and we’ll blow it up for you for your celebration.”

She snapped a shot when he weakly smiled, black curly stands between his teeth. “Please if you have any mercy, close your mouth or brush it. The sight of pubic hair stuck in between your teeth is plain nasty. So do you have anything to say, CoolSlider?”

dellyone

A Top Ten List

Date: 7/5/2000
From: dellyone

Top Ten Places Where CoolSlider Is Banned

10. The grocery stores: He keeps returns vegetables with suspicious brown rings around them.

9. The hardware stores: He keeps telling the story that the broom or mop breaks under normal use after a day.

8. The playgrounds during winter: Everyone is tired of seeing his bare ass sticking to the metal slides.

7. The circuses: He keeps humping the elephants, causing them to die of fright.

6. The zoos: The last time he was found naked in the monkey house, all the monkeys had died from laughter.

5. The toy stores: He always returns the Tranformers toys after ten minutes, complaining of inadequate thrust.

4. The hospital emergency rooms: The doctors are tired of extracting foreign objects such as broom and mop handles, cucumbers, squash, gerbils and hamsters, etc.

3. The dentist’s office: He never brushes his teeth after sex, leaving curly hair in between his teeth.

2. The video store: He has yet to return 'Optimus Prime shows his Matrix' and 'Ramjet, Thrust and Dirge: A love Story' after five years.

1. Uncle Fucka’s farm: CoolSlider screamed elephant during sex.

dellyone

Extra! Extra!

Date: 7/5/2000
From: CoolSlider

Hey, lookee what we have here. Found an interesting newspaper article today...
LOCAL B-BOARDER FUCKS HER/HIMSELF

(AP) July 5, 2000 - A poster from the Scifi Channel Sliders Buliten Board did what was once thought impossible last night. dellyone has become the first shemale to fuck itself.

"It all started when a bboarder by the name of CoolSlider told me to 'go fuck myself'," dellyone stated at a press conference this afternoon. "Well, I took him literally."

Sometime in the earlier today, dellyone went out and got another private part to carry out the task of doing the nasty to herself. After a little foreplay, the young whore had sexual intercourse.

"What a sick fuck," commented CoolSlider, the young handsome buck of the b-board. "I can't believe the dumb bitch took me seriously"
"This is a truly disgusting, perverted and disturbing act said another bboarder.
RandomsEdge asked "Is she available?

dellyone's pimp and dildo were not available for comment.

Cute delly...

Date: 7/5/2000
From: CoolSlider

Real cute.

Sorry I was gone all day...you see, I've got better things to do than pick the zits on my ass like some female poster I won't mention.

The story. All I got to say is what the flying fuck was that? First of all, you've done a story before. It's old delly. Think of something new, moron.
And let's see. You mocked my nationality, and my mother. Whooppdee fucking doo. News for ya shit-for-brains: I do that all the time on my own. I don't need your two-cents.

And the Detroit thing...I was out of it as in getting drunk. You know, it's a little thing called a social life. And no, a social life isn't considered picking up herpes-infested blowhards from bars.

Later!
CS

Now...the real story.

Date: 7/5/2000
From: CoolSlider

Delly, I gotta give you credit. You almost got my character down. I am a wise-cracking smart ass in class.
But the thing is, when I crack up, I don't crack. If a teacher trys to bitch me out, I can bitch them out just as bad.
So here, pay no attention the the five-cent whore ladies and gentlemen. Here is the story. The *real* story. Everything is the same until after the tape recorder stopped.

CS's smile didn't diminish as delly approached him. It was almost as if it were a strategy of his.
CoolSlider and dellyone weren't exaclty the greatest of pals. Cool was living up to his name and constantly joking around in class. Still, delly had to give him credit. He was probably one of the smartest if not the smartest in the class.

"You know, CS," delly said "I'm really getting sick of your childish antics and smartass comments."

CS came back, "Uh yeah. And I'm getting sick of your constant angst and moping around you're always doing in this class. It's not our fault your mother died of an untreated case of syphillis she got from sleeping with you."

delly let out a nervous laugh. A dull roar entered the class room.

CS pointed to the ice machine. "And delly, time to confess to the class now. You don't buy all that ice to keep your Pepsi cold. You shove it down your pants to keep the crabs fresh."

The dull roar started increasing to a soft laugh from everyone as delly's face grew as red as her rectal bleeding she got from that night in a Dallas motel. delly was about to squirt some.

"And your hair, delly. Jeez. I bet the class would *love* to know why it's all crusty in the morning. It's not the latest hair spray they're raving about in Paris, no siree. But it turns outour little prof here has not only a pee fetish...but a shit fetsih. WHOOEEE. Try to wash, rinse *and* REPEAT you stupid bitch."

By this time, delly broke down. She ran out of the room balling her eyes out.

"See ya later, fucko. Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

"Dude." darkslider said.
"Dude, indeed" ST added.

"So," Yeontoo confronted "How did ya find all that stuff out?"

"Well, like I said, delly is also a five-cent whore. RandomsEdge spilled it."

The classroom, including RandomsEdge laughes.

"Oooh..." the dumbfuck realized.

"Oh yeah," CS asked. "The recorder?"

Yeontoo smiled. "Left it on the whole time!"

"That's my girl!"

Later!
CS
Oh, and "Rules of the Game" is a good episode, you dumbfuck.

TEST (END)

Date: 7/5/2000
From: CoolSlider

How about we sing, dellyone's a five-cent whore in d-minor.
(Sung to Kyle's Mom is a Big Fat Bitch)

Weeeelllll, delly is a five cent whore she's the cheapest whore in the whole wide world she's a stupid whore if there ever was a whore she's a whore that molests boys and girls.

On Monday she gives head, on Tuesday she gives head on Wednesday, Thursdays 50% off. Then on Sunday like everyday she give a super mega sloppy fuck.

Have you ever met dellyone she's the cheapest whore in the whole wide world, she's a dumbfuck whore and she has crusty hair she's a whore whore whore whore whore whore whore.

Whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore she's a stupid whore!
Dellyone is a whore and she's just a cheap-ass whore.

Deeeelllllyyyyooonnneee is aaaa whooooorrreeee-ah!

Correction, dipshit

Date: 7/5/2000
From: dellyone

CoolSlider,

Here's some friendly advice. Read my fucking first reply with the story in it. Read for the goddamn details, you illiterate uncle fucker. I spell it out plainly for those who aren't in a methanol-induced stupor that Yeontoo has a Swear Words Be Gone ™ translator and a tape recorder that deletes expletives. What the fuck? You should have read my first round story. I spell it out there too. You are supposed to drink ethanol not the wood alcohol that is used as antifreeze in the back of Uncle Fucka's barn. No wonder you are going blind, but that maybe because of time you mistakenly tried fucking a bull instead of the cow and got a horn stuck in your eye. That was the best three second orgasm you every got even Uncle Fucka can't compare to that. I guess those extra three months in your mom's womb didn't increase your intelligence. So whatever shit you said into the tape recorder comes out like this.

CS: ... pee fetish...but a shit fetsih. WHOOEEE. Try to wash, rinse *and* REPEAT you stupid bitch.

Tape recorder: .... [bleep] fetish...but a [bleep] fetsih. WHOOEEE. Try to wash, rinse *and* REPEAT you stupid [bleep].

So as the only tutu wearing member of the all boys ballet school which am I a bitch, a whore, or a she/male? You seem to be confused which is not surprising since you thought a clitoris was a flower. Don't you even watch the Discovery Channel? Even Uncle Fucka told you that pigs literally screw around while all the other animals hammer away. If I'm a bitch and a whore, then I am female according to the definitions of both words in the dictionary. If I am a she/male, then I am both. So which one is it? In your first reply, first you said I was a she/male, then mentioned the following words - herself, bitch, she, dildo and pimp. All words referred almost always to the female gender. In your second reply, you referred to me as a female poster, hence adding evidence that I am female. If you read your third reply, there is a plethora of she, her and bitch. If you read your fourth reply, you called me a bitch. So there you go ladies and gentlemen. dellyone is female. So CoolSlider, brush away that pubic hair from your teeth, pull out that cucumber out of your ass and READ YOUR GODDAMN STORY BEFORE POSTING IT. Get the facts correct before posting.

So before you try your hand as opposed to your nonexistent dick at writing some fanfic, reread your shitty fanfic first and check for grammar, spelling and whether you have followed continuity. Goddammit, I hate spelling mistakes. GET A DICTIONARY!

Did you forget my beverage poll? I posted that I don't drink, hence I don't get drunk. That's the reason why I posted my first reply at 12:01AM and my second one within an hour. It took you what 18 hours for your first reply. I guess you were working the zoo last night and this morning considering that Uncle Fucka threw you out after he found out that you were screwing your mom. Guess Uncle Fucka is the jealous type or he felt that you weren't up to his standards.

dellyone

P.S.

Don't start with this Sliders shit like you did the first round.

A Missing Person

Date: 7/5/2000
From: dellyone

Have you seen this person?

<Insert last week’s newsphoto of a nude CoolSlider with his ass sticking to a metal slide>

Name: CoolSlider aka Uncle Fucka’s 2 cents an hour bitch <anything more is robbery>

Age: 16 - 21 years old, exact age unknown due to misfiling of birth certificate due to gender discrepancy

Gender: Born male, raised female due to “accident” during birth; recently discovered she was a he

Last seen: Professor dellyone’s Creative Writing class

Physical description: Last seen wearing black tube top, red hot pants, excessive makeup similar to Tammy Fae Baker, hot pink platform shoes, a black Transformers purse and Uncle Fucka’s beeper that vibrates at a slower speed than him.<CoolSlider just can’t handle Uncle Fucka’s speed. > He has permanent brown stains around mouth and curly hair stuck in teeth. See Distinguishing features for more details

Height: needs ladder for mounting <yeah he’s as tall as Gary Coleman>

Length: negligible <drunk doctor slipped and cut the wrong cord>

Weight: According to Uncle Fucka, the weight of two full grown sheep

Distinguishing features: This love child of Howard Stern, Michael Jackson, Tammy Fae Baker and Gary Coleman shares many of their features. He has Howard Stern’s eyes and voice, the “Gloved wonder’s” face, Tammy Fae’s makeup sensibility of more is better and Gary Coleman’s stature except that one.

 

dellyone

Draw RedEye!

Date: 7/5/2000
From: dellyone

CoolSlider in his drunken stupor recalled the events in error. Below is the true story as seen through the LoserCam that was still one after dellyone humiliated the stupid asshole and from student interviews.

 

dellyone was tired of waiting for CoolSlider to start talking so she called the dean on her cell phone to watch her class while she went to the teacher’s lounge for more coffee. The dean was happy to come over because she was bored with paperwork. When the dean arrived, dellyone left to class and CoolSlider was too busy with his bowel movements to notice. Somehow his sphincter muscle was too tired from the loving he had earlier with the moose, spilling that brown goo all over the floor. CoolSlider had gotten that crap in his eyes and that combined with the methanol he had drunk, he was slowly getting blind.

CoolSlider lashed out stupidly at the dean. His fellow classmates, not wanting to see idiocy in action, decided not to inform him of the dean’s presence. He mistakenly called Uncle Fucka, who had followed him to class this time, RandomsEdge. Uncle Fucka was surprised that CoolSlider had put together a coherent five minute conversation. That’s what he needed to do – fill CoolSlider up with antifreeze. This would get rid of the frigidity that CoolSlider had for the last two weeks.

The dean ran out and dellyone entered the lecture hall, almost spilling her coffee. Silence descended except for the laughter emanating from CoolSlider.

“So what’s so funny dipshit? Did the shit in your head finally melt and come out your ass?” asked dellyone as she drank her coffee.

CoolSlider stopped laughing. “So you came back for more you five cent whore?”

“Oh, he is so fucked,” remarked dark.

“Pissant won’t know what him him,” added Space.

A confident CoolSlider said, “Yeontoo, please rewind your tape recorder and replay it for the professor.”

Yeontoo did as he asked and played it for dellyone. CoolSlider waited for the flaming to begin and watched dellyone’s face intently as the insults started. dellyone just smiled as she drank her coffee throughout the berating.

“What the fuck!” exclaimed CoolSlider as he heard a bleep in place of all the curse words. “What kind of tape recorder is that?”

dellyone gave him an evil smile. “That’s a Swear Words Be Gone ™ tape recorder. You know full well that Yeontoo doesn’t like curse words so this tape recorder deletes them. By the way, you better run before security gets here to throw you out on your ass.”

CoolSlider just stared in amazement at his studity.

dellyone

Fini

Date: 7/5/2000
From: dellyone

Before CoolSlider left the class, he grabbed darkslider's Creativity Disruptor™, ignoring the red light. He pointed it at dellyone and fired before dellyone could do anything. The air was filled with particles.

"Stupid fuck, I set that on overload," said dark as he watched the particles float in the air.

"Thanks dark, he was an idiot. He should have checked first before firing that weapon. Oh well, the gene pool is safe," replied dellyone. "Class dismissed."

'k...what the fuck?

Date: 7/6/2000
From: CoolSlider

Fuck you, fuck your mother, fuck your dildo, fuck your lame-assed stories, fuck your dog, fuck your cat, fuck the ground you walk on...

Kidding, kidding...delly, you beat me. That was great.
*Shakes hands*

There is *no* way I could have-counter attacked that. That was awesome.

But you know...the FUCKING BOARD froze on me. I kept refreshing to see if you replied and then all of the sudden...wham 11 replies! I don't care though...I'm still sort of in the TOP, right?

Later
CoolSlider
No hard feelings, eh?...oh god, I just said "eh"

<Shakes hands with CoolSlider>

Date: 7/6/2000
From: dellyone

Damn, man you put up a fight. I couldn't believe that you posted that many either. That story you did had me laughing hard. That was a glorious battle was it not. No hard feelings, dude. Hope you didn't take offense for what I wrote. Yes, I think you are still in the TOP.

BTW, was that the last part of the Transformers/Sliders fanfic that you posted. I just remember you saying that you were posting this since you didn't know if you were finished. Man, never read one like that before.

dellyone

Well...

Date: 7/6/2000
From: CoolSlider

If I have time, I probably will finish the Transformers/Sliders crossover and there are a few other fanfics I've been working on lately too. Mainly my silly Sliders fanfic series.

One I've thought about doing too is a Sliders season 6 opener that mocks the ordinary dumbasses fanfic.

"Maggie and Diana die, Rembrandt finds the real professor on PTSS world, Quinn is seperated from Mallory, and Wade is rescued. Then Quinn, Wade, Rembrandt and the Professor find home. The end."

Whooo...ain't that exciting, original and totally shocking to the reader.

And yeah...I had a lot of material ready for this flame. Heck, I had three more flames I could have used if the stupid board would have worked...damn you. Oh well, those can be tucked away for later.

Again, whooo...that was harsh. Real good stuff.
And I have to admit...I was laughing at your story too. "See ya at the beach." That is so something that I would have said!

Anyway, later!
CoolSlider

Thanks for the info, Cool <end>

Date: 7/7/2000
From: dellyone

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Original URL http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/21883
Nominated by darkslider