"The Beret War" news coverage Part 2

Date: 2/17/99
From: HurriKain

Hello, this is HurriKain from SliderNews ans you are watching our special coverage of the "Beret War".

<special 3D "Beret War" logo appears on screen, follwed by the SliderNews logo.>

On our last note, me and our trusted cameraman Murray infiltrated ABL headquarters for some live footage, but in the end we were on the brink of being captured. Me and the footage successfully escaped, but, unfortunately, Murrah... wasn't so lucky. When I looked back, I seen groups of ABLers dragging him back into their compound. We are still waiting for an sign of him...

On another note, we are about to leave the frying pan and into the fryer. We are about to walk into dangerous ground. Yes, We are going to enter Berets For All territory. And replacing Murray tonight as cameraman, is a close friend of mine, SL4ever. He knows the dangerous risk involving this and is very happy (?) to help.
And now, some words form our sponsors......

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Ok, were back. We are actually outside BFA headquarters. Learning from last night's mistake, we have learned to be more cautious. With us on the escapade, is Marine field operative John Slater. He is going to find us a way in... and apparently he just have. <Camera pans to operative uncovering a steel grate from an air duct on the side of the building.> SL4ever, you better shut the camera off for now, it looks like a long crawl. <static>

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OK, we are actually inside BFA headquarters. We have to walk down these hallowed halls with extreme caution. Every step is like a taking a greater risk. You can FEEL the excitementin th...wait..someone's coming...HIDE..<camera darts to a nearby closet, sees two women donning berets walking down hall.> (whispering) we are reporting live from the broom closet, and , for the first time ever, we are actually seeing two BFA soldiers. Though they do look tame, but we're not taking any chances. <operative crack open door, has given us the go ahead, camera walks in to hall.> Ok, it seems that the coast is clear. Lets walk down these dangerous halls to survey surroundings and look for a possible rally.

OK, passing by every room an still no signs of a rally. We seen rooms use as meeting places fo BFAers, some are used to store their horrifying headgear artillery, some are dotted with Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, and 98 degrees posters, and I even seen some with JOC and COC posters. And I could of swore I stepped in a big puddle of drool. In other words, this envoroment seems tame enough, but I heard stories so horrible that I can't say then on National Television (or WebCast). Although it seems...uh oh.. someone's coming...Hide. <Camera ducks into nearby room, feet sticking with drool. Sees three BFAers stopping at a water fountain down the hall.>
"So, ahve you heard any news yet from the front?"
"No, not yet, I hope we win this stupid war."
"Yeah, me too."
"Oh, have you heard about that reporter who snuck into ABL last night?"
"Yeah, I heard he got captured."
"Poor Guy...if he tried to sneak here...I hope he does!"
"Have you heard about the rally tonight? Where is it again? I forgot."
"It's in that big conference room down the hall...and it starts in 5 min., c'mon or we'll be late."
<hears three sets of feet scurring off, camera walks into hall.> OK, we have just found out the rally location. And, I've been captured by the ABL? They must be talking about Murray. Poor Guy.
Now we must find a place to view the rally from a safe distance.
<static>

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WE are at a balcony overlooking the BFA rally. All I see as I look dowm is an open sea of berets making waves. And to the far side, I see a reporter, which is wearing a purple-ish beret. What a magnificent sight, and wait, another patriotic song fills the air, and it appears the everyone is singing. This must be the BFA anthem. We are set so high and we're at the back of the room, we can't hear a thing except murmurs. Its seems that their anthem is over and their leader, 1013shan has taken the podium for tonight. After saying an opening sentence, the crowd cheered wildly. and behind her was various images projected from a screen hat then ended with a 3D modeled beret waving like a flag. Then afterwards 1013shan continued her speech. Man,I swear, the news room better suppl us with better sound equipment next time....What's this... spaz119 just walked on the stage with two very buff men wearing nothing but berets on their heads and one on their...ah-hem...genetalia...as if they are suspended in mid-air. Talk about humiliation, but this is absolutely vulgar. Then another image projected on the screen, and ity appears to be a surveillance tape of our escape at ABL HQ. Now I see my name undert a picture which appears to be Jerry O'Connell, then caught a glipse of an hypnotism projection and ducked. This is getting crazy, we better leave before we get caught up in this.

OK, we back on the main hall, still empty because of rally, and we are on our way... Uh-Oh. < Camera pans to two BFAers hiolding berets.>
"There's Jerry. GET HIM!!!"
Oh No, everbody Run!!!<Camera follows reporter down a mesh of corridors, around every corner more BFAers chase after news crew. Sees field operative being nabbed by a BFA soldier.> Oh No, our field operative been captured. It's too late to save him. They probably got the front entrance covered by now. < Camera continues following reporter, eventually reaches a dead end marked with a window. Reporter looks through it.> Sl4ever, we have to jump...C'mon trust me. <Reporter jump out of window. Camerea pans to approaching mob with berets and one of them seems to be waving a towel. Camera immediately jump out of window, and lands in a garbage bin.> C'Mon! (helping Sl4ever out of bin) The van is not that far. <Camera follows reporter through field and spots a News Van a few yard away.> Sl4ever, you better hand me the camera, you have to drive us out of here. <Camera pans from one view to another as it enter the vehicle form the back. Sees camera man enter and starts van then drives off.> Phew, I thought we would never make it, And to the family of Mr. Slater, I am sorry for what happen. And I am sure that he went down with honor. Now lets just head home and... (Hears a jeep gaining speed) what the... <camera looks out of van back window. Sees a Jeep full of BFAs gaining on them.> Man, step on it, We better get to the studio quick....

TO BE CONTINUED.....

(To the ABL, You didn't capture me, but my cameraman Murray, would you please return him to safety, thank you.)

Very well.....

Date: 2/17/99
From: BritSlider

Let it not be said that the ABL are without mercy.

Your cameraman will be delivered to your newsroom later this evening by an unmarked van.

Do NOT try to film this event,
Do NOT try to follow the van.

Consider yourself duly warned!

BritSlider
C in C of the 'Anti-Beret League'

A few points

Date: 2/17/99
From: Slider_Sarah

A few points

Damn, you got past me on my watch. NEVER do that again or you will not enjoy the consequences. You have been warned.

Just a few points I thought I should clarify on the behalf on the rest of the BFA members.

1) No BFA members should EVER be considered tame. We have skills you haven't even dreamed of.

2) There are no posters of N'Sync or 98 degrees (who are they?). At least, not in rooms I've been in. Please, we do have some taste. There are whole rooms dedicated to JOC and COC, but you wouldn't have been able to reach them since you have to be wearing your BFA issue beret to enter.

3) Those men wear their berets like that out of choice. We don't force them, although it is appreciated.

4) Marine field operative John Slater has not yet been harmed. He is currently in a very secure area which no-one can reach in any way unless they have their BFA issue berets on. Even the air vents are guarded.

If any other BFA members have anything to add, please do. (You are not one HurriKain)

Berets for all!

"We're here. Then again, maybe we're not."

Slider_Sarah (She of the powder blue beret with lilc peace sign)
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Dreamworld/7247/slidindex.html

The rumors are true!

Date: 2/17/99
From: SL4ever

I have seen one of the ABLs and she DOES look like a muppet! I didn't believe it, but it is true. Ah, well, too bad. She has to go down like the rest of the Bereted ladies... -don't look at me like that! Get your mind out of the gutter!- ...when the ABL forces are defeated, cute or not.

Anyway, I am glad to be back from the land of lame hero-worship posters and puddles of drool. Good thing I was wearing a towel resistent jacket!

Lead on, HK!

HK and SLever...

Date: 2/17/99
From: spaz119

Rumor has it you two are JOC and COC (what a pleasant rhyme) so......to see if it's true, I have some berets here....ya that's right baby...suspend these
suckers in midair and I'll talk truce.
No one escapes my towel torture room...there is no
towel resistant clothing, and .....how come I don't see floating berets yet? Come on guys, this is war
where are the guns?

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