Check out part one at www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/20322
It's much better than this part.
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Hunter D Raven excuses himself from his table.

<Announcer voice> "And now, to present the award for Best Use of a Yak, it's David Peckinpah and Lunch Boy."

LB "See, I told you, my idea to replace Remmy with a yak would have worked, these people love yaks."
DP "You dolt, they hate us, we're just here so they can make fun of us."
LB "Huh, they loved my sagas of lunches, both take out and eat in. Every Saturday after the new shows, They would be talking about my Y5J. It was a hit, my first ever.
<Announcer voice> "that's enough, The golden Vortex goes to Darkslider."

Tembi Locke runs to the stage, screaming. "It was my idea, the damn Yak was my idea. I stole it from Lunch Boy. The award is mine." She puches Peck and Lunch boy seeing this, hands her the award. She runs back to her seat, yelling "I am the King of the World."

DP "Why are we still here?"
LB "My favorite band is here to play, The Backstreet Boys. Oops, I am supposed to introduce them. Here they are, The Backstreet Boys. YES!!"
DP and LB stay on stage to watch. The opening sounds of some Backstreet Boys song start.

Shots ring out. Howevermany Backstreet Boys there are, DP and LB all fall to the ground. Gaffers, key grips and electrians pull the dead bodies off the stage.

Chris Rock reenters "This just keeps getting stranger and stranger."

Nickolas Lea and Jason Gaffney enter.
JG "We are here to give out the Golden Vortex for Best Death."
NL "I was supposed to die a violent death on the show, but Tracey was overruled by Fox.
JG "I might as well have died, as much has they used Bennish after the first season."
NL " The nominees are QBall79, Temporal Flux, and everyone."
JG "Who gets to take the trophy home if everyone wins?"
NL "I do, it's in my contract."
JG "Cool."
NL "The winner is QBall79."

QBall79 makes is way to the stage to accept the award. "I would like to thank Chaser9 for killing me and the LoB for thinking it all up. Without them I wouldn't have been blessed with this award. Thank you all."

Hunter D Raven returns to his table with a large smile on his face.

Chris Rock "What the deal with 79? Who has a number for a last name?" He looks down at this watch. "Oh my God, John McCain, John McCain is here. Why?" "Oh, he's presenting the award for Best Merc Attack." "Here's Johnnnnnnnnie."
John McCain "I was looking over the exploits of the nominees here, and I was very impressed. I wish some of these boys would have been around to check me out of the Hanoi Hilton." "Espically the LoB, they would have loved the child pornography in Saigon."
JMcC "The winner is......... The Dec 10 Boyz. for their attack on the ABL Mess Hall."

Sabre Edge and Jorge Cis come repelling down from the roof to accept their award. Everyone wonders why they were on the roof in the first place.
SE "We would like to thank the Acadamy, our mothers..
JC "Don't forget Yeontoo."
SE "Of course Yeontoo, she was very instramental to our cause."
JC "But most ofall we would like to thank the lax american gun laws for making the all carnage possible."
John McCain and Jorge Cis exit.

SE "It is now my great pleasure to announce, put your hands together for the band of the nineties, Pearl Jam!!!"
Eddie Vedder "This song is from our first album, Ten."
They start playing "Porch",
After concluding, Eddie Vedder yells "If you want to hear us some more tonight we will be playing the Dec 10 Boyz After Party in the Bboard Blue Light district."

Chris Rock "That's it folks, I hope you all had a wonderful time." "See you all next year."
<Announcer voice> "Chris the show's not over yet."
Chris Rock "It is for me." "I've had enough, you're not paying me enough to go through all of this." "See ya!"

<Announcer voice> "Okay, here are Andrew Summers and Autumn Mallory."

AM "It's us from Chase's Earth 374."
AS "We heard of this strange war over Berets, but what are Berets?'
The crowd yells "Hats".
AM "Hats? This fine dimension and bboard that we have visited for many a party, fought a war over hats?"
AS "Tis a shame."
AM "Andrew, our timer is down to a minute, let's announce the award and get out of here."
AS "Okay, the Golden Vortex for Best Series of Posts goes to the Legion Of Booze."

From the Lob table all you hear is arguing "you go, no you go, you,... send him."

Andrew and Autumn slide out, shaking their heads as they see.....Gary Coleman walking up to the podium?

Gary Coleman steps to the podum to accept the Golden Vortex on behalf of the LoB.
GC "As the newest LoB trainee, and because their grain alcohol IVs don't reach all the way up here, it is my duty to accept this award." "I just have one thing to say: Go to hell, we kiled all of you, this Awards Show should not be happening, you're all dead!"

As Gary walks off, his mic is still on...
"I wonder if this is real gold, huummmmmm, should be worth at least a couple of forties, maybe even some Boone's."

<Announcer voice> "Here's Drew Carey and KllyWlls to present Best Single Post."
DC "Who the hell are you?"
KW "I'm a poster"
DC "Why are you here, I was supposed to present with Jenna Jameson. That's the only reason I came."
KW "Her flight got changed, so you're here with me, well that, and the writer was out of people and interesting situations for them to be in."
DC "Yeah, that makes sense." "What show is this again?"
KW "Sliders."
DC "Okay on to the award."
DC "Wow, a tie. That's usually a cop-out."
KW "The winners are Yeontoo and Dellyone."
DC "Congratulations, but since we only have the hall booked for another fifteen minutes, you two won't get to have acceptance speeches here, try the press tent."
KW "This sucked, I got stuck with Drew Carey, and I didn't get to do anything fun." "This is the last time I ask to be included in something that I didn't read before."
DC "What are you talking about?"

<Announcer voice> "And now for our final award
He is forced to pause until the cheering dies down.
the Lifetime Achievement Award."
"This man was an original member of the Legion of Booze, a great warrior during BWII, man enough to bed Tembi Locke, he saved is comrade Spacetime from a lifetime of watching MrBrown.net. He also helped bring about the destruction of the Bboard. As if all of this were not enough....He has laid claim to the next century. Surviving 100 years in vat of jello, he has come back in a wonderous new body to rule again. While many contenders for this award were legends in their own times, he stands alone as the King of the Post-Apocolyptic Bboard.......Darkslider."
"Darkslider......Darkslider are you here?"

Darkslider wobbles to the podium,
DS "hey, I'm sorry, it took awhile for me to get my IV out, then I had to fondle myself for awhile. Look at my body, wouldn't you?" Oh yeah, it's a great to wim this award and the lifetime supply of Jose Cuervo that comes with it." "Thank you."

The lights fade as a still nude Kari Wuhrer asks "where's my ride home?"

_______________________________________________

Thanks to everyone who actually made it this far. I hope you enjoyed it. It was the first thing I ever tried to write, and probably the last. I think I am going to be back to just reading. If by chance you read this, thanks Chaser9 for your characters. I was quite desperate last night for one set of presenters. I hope that you don't mind.

Thanks, Nole9 and the "voting board"!

I have to say that this wasn't possible without my GOD, SpaceTime. His ideas are KING, even abovce Poppas...

WOW! I haven't been this happy since Tembi and I...nevermind.

MMmmm....TEMBI.....


-darkslider

The lights come back on as Kari is pushed off stage. dellyone, dressed in her black mission uniform, runs up on stage just as a series of explosions are heard outside. She skids to a stop at the podium.

"There went the press tent. Now since all the exits are blocked by my teams, you're gonna listen to what I say," she said as watched the crowd.

"Get off the stage! You're dead!" came from the crowd.

"Oh yeah. If I'm dead, then you won't mind if I go ahead and blow this place up then since what you are seeing is a ghost," said dellyone as she pulled out a device from her pocket.

She was about to press a button when she got tackled from behind and the device flies across the stage. It's none other than Nick Lea.

She shouts into her comm, "Green light." All the lights begin to glow green, bathing the hall in an eerie light.

"Red light," Nick shouts into his comm as dellyone makes a grab for the device, but Nick kicks it away. The hall begins to glow in a reddish glow.

"Green light," shouts dellyone and the hall becomes green again. She tries to get up, but Nick trips her. She falls to the floor several feet away from the device.

"Red light," Nick yells again as he finally grabs the device. The hall becomes red for the final time.

A tired dellyone sat up. "Okay, I give. You win. Help me up please." The hall became bathed in white light again.

"Sure, honey," he replied as he helped her up to the podium.

"What?" the surprised crowd exclaimed.

She looked at her captive audience. ;) "This isn't Nick. Nick got called in to do some voice work for the 'The X-Files' so Alex here filled in. All of that was just to see if anyone played 'Red light, Green light'."

Sparse applause was heard from the back of the hall.

She smiled. "Thank you. I just wanted to thank nole9 for putting up this award show, to the voters and to the readers who read everyone's posts. Thanks for everyone's comments on my posts. A tie who would have guessed. Anyone seen Yeontoo? I'd like for her to come up here too. She did write an awesome post. Where's my award anyway? Don't make me ask again." She looked to her right.

JOC was shoved on stage and walked nervously with her Golden Vortex award. "Um... here you go."

"Thanks," she said graciously as she accepted her award. JOC ran off quickly.

"Here, you forgot this," said Alex as he handed her a sky blue beret with an R on it.

Chants of "BFA BFA BFA" went up from the BFA table.

Booing and hissing came from the ABL-DRC table.

The GOCUB table was empty for some reason. Echos and Vigeant had left before darkslider accepted his award.

dellyone looked at the beret and a wicked smile came over her face. She threw the beret into the crowd like a Frisbee. All watched as the beret landed on the floor next to the BFA table. When everyone looked back at the podium, dellyone and Alex had disappeared.



dellyone

As for the explosions outside, that was from a building nearby being imploded. Hehehehehe.

The Dec-10 make their ways to the limo to head over to their after party. "Very cool that you got Pearl Jam to play our gig Yeontoo." They each hold a prestigious award, continually shining them up. SE holds his best Merc Attack Vortex, JC craddles his Best Feud Vortex, and Yeontoo carrying her Best Single Post Vortex. They all agree that Darkslider rightfully deserved the Lifetime achievement award.

<<<Great show nole9. Thanks!>>>

SE

Very very enjoyable!

Thanks again!
-Klly

And I LOVED the Andrew and Autumn cameo! Thanks!

--Chaser9

At least I wrote the best non-poster guest star.

Well done, nole9!

Diesel
Mickey
Dolenz

JorgeCis giggled, "You could have thanked someone for your awards"

Yeontoo blushed, "Well, by the time dellyone had them *limbered* up, it was all I could do to run past and grab my trophy." Closing her eyes, and shaking her head, "Hope she shows up at the party."

"The press will be at the party Y, you'll still hafta make a speech. Bet they'll really wanna know about your first one." SE hid part of his face, giggling.

"Yeah, what was that about?" Jorge had an incredulous look on his face. Surely their assistant wouldn't do nothing underhanded.

Yeontoo tapped the front window, Vortex62 the driver turned. "Driver, please stop!"

Tex stopped the limo movement as Yeontoo pointed at nole9. SE opened the door, and hollered, "Nole9! Ride with us!"

Nole9 jumped in the limo, along with Mr.B, BritSlide, and Mychand.

"Who invited him?" JorgeCis asked, pointing at Mr.B.

"I did, be nice" Y turned to nole9, "Now, you distinctly said to vote early and vote often. ...how was I suppose to know you didn't mean to vote often?"

Nole9 paled, "Um, well, um, see, Um, you know, uh, that was, well, see, um.."

"Oh hush!" Y pouted, "Bet you read each one too".

Nole9 blushed.

Eustislider banged on the window, "Can I have a ride?"

Britslider opened the door, "Yeah, hop in". Mychand grabbed his arm and pulled him in, despite him being the enemy.

Eusti juggled his golden vortex as he settled in, "So, which of you gets which vortex, seeing how's one is worth more than the other"

"Which one is worth more?" SE sat up, demanding.

"If you dont know...." Eusti hid a small grin. Mychand elbowed him.

"Mine is" Jorge said smuggly. SE reached for the award but Yeontoo smacked his hand. Mychand shook her head.

Nole9 hurried, changing the subject, "Uh, why were you guys on the roof?"

"Yah, what was with that?" Brit asked, echoing Nole9.

SE, rubbing his hand, got a feral gleam in his eye. "I could tell ya, then I'd have to kill ya."

JorgeCis, Yeontoo, Mychand, and even Vortex62 the driver, covered their faces for a moment.

"Oh" Brit and nole whispered at the same time.

"Is that Dark and Tembi behind us in the limo?" Jorge peered out back.

"Ya, they wanted to be alone." Mr.B said jealously.

"Then where is Space and Sarah?" Yeontoo asked, ignoring Mr.B.

"Um, They went to grab the yak" SE said in a straight face, then all burst out laughing.

Tex stopped beside a crippled newsvan. SE rolled down the window and called for Hurrikan and WldKlly to join them. "I get to give that exclusive interview now, right?"

"Um, yeah, sure"

The Dec. 10 Boyz's limo pulled up to curb just as the valets were preparing the red carpet for the guests of honor - The Dec. 10 Boyz and Yeontoo. The valets helped everyone out and the passengers handed them their Golden Vortex Awards so that they could easily get out. The valets placed their awards on a table nearby. The award winners grabbed them as they walked the red carpet.

Inside, Echos, Vigeant, PoliteSliderFan, dellyone and Alex were already inside having a great time. They left earlier to avoid the traffic jam. Vigeant was shining his Golden Vortex for best name while PoliteSliderFan argued with dellyone about forgetting to mention her in her speech.

"Sorry, I totally forgot," dellyone apologized.

"Better make sure that Golden Vortex doesn't get taken away," said PoliteSliderFan as she drank some champagne.

dellyone smiled as she held her award. "Anyone tries will get a surprise if they do. They won't get more than five feet away with it."

"dellyone, what are you saying?" asked Echos as she held Vigeant's award.

Vigeant commented, "You lo-jacked it?" All laughed at his comment.

"Let's just say that whoever tries won't be walking for long," said a mysterious Alex.

They saw the Dec. 10 Boyz and their entourage enter and waved them to their corner table.

"Hey, Yeontoo, I can't believe you stuffed the ballots," called out PoliteSliderFan.

Yeontoo blushed. "Well, nole9 did say vote often and I did."

"I thought about that but I changed my mind," said dellyone.

"No wonder you guys won so many times. I demand a recount," shouted Vigeant.

SE smiled at them, "That's because we got better posts."

"Ohhhh. Ahhhh." said the members of the entourage.

"Have fun all," said SE as he smugly showed them their awards. All laughed at them as they walked away.

"Later," said dellyone, Echos, Vigeant, PoliteSliderFan and Alex.

When they were out of hearing range, the conspirators continued their discussion.

"I can't wait till the champagne starts flying. The Dec. 10 Boyz's awards are going to be tarnished," laughed dellyone.

They entire table began to laugh hysterically. After a few minutes, dellyone asked, "Escape routes are secure right?"

"Yeah, our teams are stationed throughout the area ready for our escape," replied PoliteSliderFan.

"Cool," said Vigeant and Echos in unison.

Original URL http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/20366