Date: 6/28/2000
From: darkslider

Phew! FINALLY THE LAST ONE! This laptop runs slower than a brain dead slug.

Hunter:
I've wanted to see you in action for a while now. You are a without a doubt one of the most worthy opponents in philosophical debates. You founded the best league on the planet, AND you are involved with Stoker. You are DEFINATELY a worthy adversary, as well as KINGPIMP in my book. Good luck, and I expect to see some good hits!

Obselete:
I've heard you're KING at this! Let's see some of the magic! I have a feeling that the stories my be true, but want to see for myself. I wish you luck ,and expect to see some excellent stuff come from you, as well as Hunter. This one will probably be a damn tough call.

One day, guys. ONE DAY. At the end of that time, I judge the winner. If you have any questions, since you guys were a little late, e-mail Poppa..or refer to the post above on the Tournament.

NOW, KICK SOME ASS!

The introductions

Date: 6/28/2000
From: Jericho_Y2J

(HunterD doesn't have time to flame right this second, so i decided to do a Intro for the match)

"Introduceing first, the Master of Flames, he has been known as SC69,EPT, and SOK666, he is The Obsolete Man!!"
The theme from Rocky plays as TOM enters to Huge cheers from most of the arena, huge boos from the JOCNatic section of the arena.

"Introduceing at this time, he is the Clown Prince of Flames, he has been known as Kanyon_Raven, He is "The Hunter" HunterD_Raven!!

The Rocks music plays remixed as "The Hunter Says...The Hunter Says...The Hunter Says JOC sucks!" and D enters to huge cheers from most of the audiance and more huge boos from the JOCnatic section.

D and TOM shake hands, do martial arts style bows of respect to each other....and the match begins

Time to get this a going...

Date: 6/28/2000
From: TheObsoleteMan

You know hunter, I've liked you.

At least, until now.But now Hunter, I must now regretfully expose you as the waste of sperm you are in front of the entire boards.

You see, when I woke up today, I wasn't looking forward to this. But then, then, I found out that I missed the Monkees marathon on VH1.

And now I know why.

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!

Your nonsensical rants, and your Buffy related name, and the cheeto crumbs you leave strewn about the boards like this was your personal playgrounds, well, I have to say that You make me SICK!!!

How dare you! For god's sake, man, those Cheetos will attract ants! Or,worse yet, Executive!

Yes, it's all Hunter's fault that Executive came here.

He left the Cheetos out, and Executive used his fat-sense to find his way here to the sweet sweet cheetos.

So, now that we see the Hunter D Raven is actually a PAWN of Executive, a little toady to be spanked and treated like Ned Beatty in Deliverance by Executive at his whims, I believe my work here is done.

Cheers.

The Hunter...Replies

Date: 6/28/2000
From: HunterD_Raven

"I found out that I missed the Monkees marathon on VH1."
Monkees, you mean those origional Boy Band, one of the inspirations of the craptacular groups like 98,Sync,Backstreet?...ahh insults from a Boy Band fan

"and your Buffy related name"
Ahh, the greatness of not paying attention.
HunterD, a Anime done in the 1980s before Joss Whedon even did the crappy-ass movie. Raven, a gothic style pro-wrestler who quotes Edgar Allan Poe....How is this Buffy related again?

"and the cheeto crumbs you leave strewn about the boards like this was your personal playgrounds"
Hey, I don't even EAT Cheetos!

 

"Yes, it's all Hunter's fault that Executive came here.
He left the Cheetos out, and Executive used his fat-sense to find his way here to the sweet sweet cheetos."
this coming from the man who is actually a SAINT to Executive...we all know you where the "Saint of Killers" and all of Execs braincells killed each other ages ago, he kills common sense, he kills logic....YOU ARE HIS PATRON SAINT!!

"So, now that we see the Hunter D Raven is actually a PAWN of Executive, a little toady to be spanked and treated like Ned Beatty in Deliverance by Executive at his whims, I believe my work here is done"
So i am an Exec Flunky....i say thee nay, See thou art worse than an Exec flunky, ....you are a Sci-Fi Employee, i've heard many people say it before, yet know i know it is true.
HunterD
Layin the smackdown
---
OOB (Out Of battle)(If nothing else, this will be the funniest of the tourney battles....but i pity those up against the winner, be it me or TOM...I'll bet dollars to donuts the winner of this bout wins the tourney!)

Oh, is that so?

Date: 6/28/2000
From: TheObsoleteMan

Oh suuuuure, you say now you don't eat Cheetos, but when Exec was pumping away on your firm, youthful backside, you were singing a different tune!

Why, you were screaming "Exec, Exec, please let me have a taste of your golden cheeto of pleasure just one more time!!!"

And how dare you compare the Monkees to the...bah... Boy bands of today. The Monkees could play! These craptacular crapulents of today wouldn't know a g note from a g spot!

And then, we come to your Rock catchphrases.

How fitting it is, that the most untalented flamer rips off the most untalented wrestler. What will you be forcing upon us next? Mae Young's puppies?!? I wouldn't put it past you. Why, just the last time we chatted, you spoke of how you "likes em older'n dirt".

And need I go into how you once lusted after your idol, JERRY O'CONNELL?!?!?

I know your secret!!! You saw Scream 2 TEN TIMES!!!
You touched yourself in inappropriate ways whilst watching Body Shots!
You wanted to suck the jelly out of JOC's rolls when you saw him in Stand By Me!

Yes, You, HunterDRaven, are a CLOSET JOC FANATIC!

But, your JOC Fanaticism pales in comparison to your love for Charlie O'Connell!!!

And need I mention the time you "accidentally" made love to a canine with the nomenclature "Big Dick Dog"?

I think not.

It would only serve to embarass everyone involved.

-------------------
(OOB-- I don't know... the winner of this one will probably have to go against SpaceTime, and that's a bit challenging. And hey, I haven't even started to flame yet. I still have to get self Righteous on someone...)

Original URL http://www.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/545/21730
Nominated by darkslider